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HEY GUUUUUUURL. 32.

HEY GURLLLLL

32. Are you wearing socks?

Why yes I am.

the greatest story about puns and farming ever told

Herbie came from the finest line of vegans. His family owned and operated the most famous and meat-free vegetable farm in the world. The family had opposed the slaughter and consumption of animals for generations and refused to support that lifestyle. Rather, they preferred their vegan way of life and firmly believed their choices were the healthiest and purest.

It was the summer of 2009 on a hot day in July. Herbie and his family were riding their bikes to the local vegetable judging competition. As they rode by Farmer Rex's farm, he waved at the family. Herbie's family coincidentally looked the other at the same time. Farmer Rex wasn't a vegetable farmer like Herbie's family, he was.... A MEAT FARMER (DUN DUN DUN).

As the family rode on, Herbie couldn't help but look back to the friendly farmer and the surrounding cows. He had grown up learning that the consumption of animals was wrong and immoral, alone with the farmers involved in the meat market. Yet as his family pedaled onto the vegetable judging contest (ahh don't squish it) he couldn't help but wonder if Farmer Rex's practices were really that wrong.

While at the vegetable judging contest, Herbie snuck away from his family and went over to the meat judging part of the competition and talked to farmers there about their farming methods. He stood back and looked at all the animals. It was at that moment Herbie decided he wanted to be a meat farmer and he wouldn’t let anything stop him, not even his family.

The next day Herbie rode his bike over to Farmer Rex’s farm and asked Rex to teach him the tricks of the trade. Farmer Rex told Herbie he would give him a summer job so he could learn how to work with the animals. Before leaving to go tell him parents, Herbie went to go pet the cows. “I will taste you one day,” he whispered creepily.

When leaving the farm Herbie couldn’t help but notice that stares people gave him. He couldn’t help but wonder what they were thinking. Herbie knew that because of his family he was known as a vegan and that he would be seen as crazy for creating a meat farm. Instead of letting this discourage him, it only made his desire stronger.

Herbie was dreading going home because he didn’t want to tell his parents of his future plans. But here he was, at their dining room table which was covered in vegetables, sitting across from his parents. Instead of just sitting there staring awkwardly at his parents, Herbie just blurted it out. It took a minute for his parents to realize what he actually said but when they did; it was almost as though a bomb went off.

After an hour of lecturing, which was more like screaming, they sent Herbie to his room so he could ‘think’ about his decision. Herbie in his mind knew that meat farming was what he really wanted to do. However, it was the people he was surrounded by that were against it. These two driving forces were working against each other forcing Herbie to make a decision where someone would be disappointed either way.

The confused boy decided to go for a walk to clear his head. As he travelled down the country road he saw a beautiful girl dressed in overalls leading a family of cows into a pasture filled with sweet, green grass. He leaned onto the fence, mesmerized by the girl and her animals, ignoring the jolts the electric fence transferred to him. After a shockingly long time, Herbie disconnected from the fence and gently called out to the girl. Slowly, he explained his lack of knowledge in the meat market and asked utterly ridiculous questions about the cows that the girl answered with patience and kindness. As he learned about cows he also learned about the girl and her family. Her name was Carnie and she came from a long family of meat farmers. With this new made friendship came the realization that his parents had been wrong about meat farmers !

Herbie knew what he must do. With Carnie beside him they walked to his parents house and burst through the door.

“Mom! Dad! We need to talk!” he yelled, exasperated from the walk home.

His parents looked at each other before his mother quietly responded, “We’re all ears,” as they husked corn at the table.

Herbie wasted no time introducing Carnie and demanding that they recognize his dream and except them.

“Herbie, you are really milking this one,” his mother said with a roll of her eyes.

“No mother, I don’t want to just milk the cows! I want to become a meat farmer. One you can be proud of!”

Herbie’s family were silent as they slowly began to realize while their son did not want to be a part of the family business, he still wanted to be a part of the family. For Herbie, being a vegetarian was a missed steak and he craved for the other lifestyle.

Before long Herbie and Carnie had fallen in love and made plans for a wedding in the spring. The families came together with the freshest, most delicious vegetables and delectable, tender beef at the reception. The newlyweds happily rode their cows in the sunset and never looked back.

#farming #puns #kel-ceee

8, 9 and 18!

8. Best Soundtrack?

Of a game?? That's no fun.. I don't have one I guess...

9. Game you turn the volume off every time you play?

I don't play many.. but when I played Nancy Drew ones I used to ALWAYS turn the volume off.

18. A game you wish your friends knew about?

Ummm do I play any that they don't?

#kel-ceee #IndyBox500