#ket ramble

[modern-inheritance]

What are Eragon’s feelings on Fao?

So, Eragon does feel a little jealous of Fäolin after Arya reveals he was the one she was in love with and had a relationship with, very much akin to his reaction in canon.

However! Over time, as Arya, and Glen and Brom by extension, talk about Fäolin more, Eragon comes to realize that Fäolin loved Arya for much the same reasons that he does. He recognizes a lot of what Arya saw in Fäolin in himself!

And, most importantly, Eragon matures and sees that Fäolin and the relationship he had with Arya made her happy. That Arya had someone like that for her, in her corner in ways no one else could be, was so, so important. And he is so happy for that. He's happy that she had someone that made her happy! He understands that Fäolin was special, was a very important person in Arya's life, and damn it, if he were still alive then Eragon is pretty sure he and Fäolin would be pretty damn good friends!

Just like Paolini, I don't think the relationship between Fäolin and Arya would have survived post-Gil'ead. I think they both would have changed enough to still love each other, but not be in love with each other. It would have exposed some cracks that never would have come to light had they not been separated so violently without confirmation of the other's status. And I think Eragon, after a year or two, would have realized that as well. Arya confides in him that she sometimes finds herself 'getting angry at a dead man for questions he can't answer,' and he realizes that while a part of her will always love Fäolin...she is no longer in love with him, and is, in some ways, recognizing Eragon's feelings for her and that they may indeed be mutual. But because he has sworn to never pursue her without explicit consent on her part, he just continues on supporting her and loving her in the ways that he can.

Iunno. What stands out to me the most is that Eragon understands Fäolin is and always will be a big part of Arya's life, both pre-relationship and during the relationship. They can freely talk about him and Arya can make comparisons or quips about past interactions with Fäolin and have Eragon laugh at them without feeling jealous or angry or set aside. He knows what they have is in the now, and he has nothing to fear, and neither does she.

(Also, I don't know if anyone has picked it up, but to be perfectly blunt here lol: Fäolin is always compared to the sun, very bright, warm, never stopping that cheery, playful side. Eragon, increasingly so as we move along the timeline and Arya realizes {and both does not realize, being our dumb as rocks demi lmao} her feelings, is similarly compared to the sun, but in a slightly different way. Yes, he's got that sunny warmth, but his warmth is deeper and warmer toned. At least, that's what I've tried to do. I don't know if i've gone too subtle or if it's popped up in only like one or two stories that have made it to post but it's a running thing I've done, especially when in Arya's pov.)

I really hope this made sense, hit me up again if it didn't lol.

[weirdponytail]

When I was playing The Long Dark after a summer hiatus two years ago, I was struck by something a tad odd but comforting.

I had spent part of the summer in Yellowstone and Yosemite, and the cabins reminded me of some of the cabins we stayed in.

The effect has faded now, but for a little over a year I would enter an in-game cabin and in the real world smell the cedar and pine of the cabin walls and bunk beds, and the warm almost musty scent of the thin wool blankets that always seemed to lay at the foot of the mattress.

I miss that extra bit of immersion. But it still makes me smile.

[modern-inheritance]

O7s in chat for my dubious sfw rating imo but lemme slap a beginning on this thing and we can boogie

yes i made Ket!Snake doing O7 because fuck it. i had to reflect it so it was actually O7.

a warning beforehand so it's abundantly clear, just incase I don't make it clear enough in the TW at the start of the fic.

This fic is going to contain allusions to attempted SA, a person being pinned under someone in a position of power, and, as I said to my DnD group last night before deleting the comment "a metaphor for SA by stabbing their fingers into someone's chest cavity!"

*finger guns* Let's discuss!

Look, I do not know how this happened. But Durza started writing himself and it felt right. I've been listening to the clips we have of Thunderbringer (pre-Thunder Saga release) from EPIC and listening to the clips of Hold Them Down as well because the bops are bops, and I'm loving Antinous' voice, the growly low rumbles, and it's done things to my writing brain. The previous short thing I posted this past week? The 'An Attempt' short? Yeah, the part that I haven't written yet and am debating on making an animatic for is based on the last half of 'Hold Them Down' where guards come to attempt to SA Arya but she does a big ol' nah on that and not only physically destroys some of them in adrenaline fueled rage but also 'holds them down' mentally and rips them apart/submerges them into her mind-song to drive them insane and catatonic. That's why there's a guy outside the cell in the hallway, he ran far enough then faceplanted when Arya held his mind in her mental-elf-song thing.

I've avoided SA as a topic in MIC because it's so, so difficult, for a multitude of reasons, to get done 'right.' I can wax poetic about the horrors of torture, the disturbing aftereffects, the ways it changes someone and how they feel about themselves, their bodies, their very core. I can even write about how some torture can feel like a violation (the Piece by Piece concept short which I can't even fIND BECAUSE TUMBLR'S SEARCH FUNCTION SUCKS SO MUCH) beyond the norm.

But SA is a type of violation that I am not versed in writing. It holds so much weight and is such a personal topic for so many people. MIC focuses a lot on war, the horrors of it, the terrible things done during conflict. And it's very, very clear, in the real world, that SA is used in war. But it's just not something I'm able to write.

So. Yeah.

I don't know where these came from. Full fledged SA does not occur in these, but the trauma that even attempted SA can and does inflict on people is very, very real. It's often brushed off as 'well, nothing actually happened, so stop whining/being so scared/etc.' but that is such a toxic, wrong view on it.

I did not mean for this to be so long or veer so deeply into this. It seems most of my posts have been doing such lately.

Back to the fic! I'll post it later today if I get a satisfactory beginning on it. Per usual it's gonna start sorta midpoint in an event I think, but it's Gil'ead. The whole time was like...one long torture session. I'm about to start rambling again, I'm gonna stop myself here, but Yeah, I'll get back to it.

[weirdponytail]

Me: I should totally get a tattoo of a Snaggletooth (Hemipristis serra) Shark upper tooth on my sternum so that my collar bones form the roots with the indent at the hollow of my throat.

Also Me: Hold the fuck up and wait for the other one to heal, dumbass. SMH, in THIS heat? Gonna sweat like crazy and get it all nasty and infected, for shame!