Carlos’ eyes slowly fluttered open, sweat rolling down his already damp skin. He stared at the desk across the room, moonbeams illuminating the items, paperwork, pens, knickknacks, scattered across it. He sighed, and attempted to get up, but was cut short by the arm which was wrapped around him.
He looked back to the person who’s body was snuggled up against him- his boyfriend, Kevin, of course. Who else would it be? Despite the things he had gone through(the abuse, the torture, the-), Kevin’s sleeping face looked surprisingly peaceful. It made Carlos’ stomach churn.
He felt like there was something wrong with the disabled radio host, besides his blindness and his sometimes violent impulses, no, more like an outfit that didn’t quite fit right, as if they born in the wrong universe- like they belonged together but not like…this. He never discussed the feeling with anyone.
He carefully removed himself from the grip, trying not to wake the other up, and tiptoed out of their shared room and into the hallway. He found himself where he always found himself when he felt troubled, at the balcony that overlooked the city. He leaned on the railing that kept him from tumbling onto the sidewalk below, closing his eyes and letting strange thoughts murmur confusion in his head space like ‘he should be less cheerful, and more sarcastic’ and ‘perhaps Cecil would have been a better name’ - but they were soon interrupted by the object of his thoughts, Kevin.
“Carlos? Carlos, where are you?” A voice asked, panicked- no, concerned. Soon, there were footsteps down the hallway, and when he looked, Kevin was standing in the doorway, halfway enveloped in shadows, his hollow eyes uncovered by the sunglasses he so normally wore constantly. He was usually so self conscious about it, too. Carlos almost felt like screaming at the sight. Instead, he laughed. “I’m right here, Kevin. There’s no need to worry, I just couldn’t sleep,” he paused, “I’m sorry.” Kevin frowned.
“Is it because of the heat? I probably didn’t help all that much.. Say, how about I sleep on the couch for the time being?” He asked, but it was more like a statement than a question.
“Sure,” Carlos replied hesitantly. Kevin was stubborn, and if he believed something would make his boyfriend happy, he even sacrificed his own comfort for it. The Latino had quickly learned arguing was useless with Kevin, and had stopped being nice about it months ago.
“Good,” Kevin whispered happily, stepping closer to the chemistry major, reaching out to caress the shorter man’s cheek(Carlos wrestled with his urge to run away, but that’s silly, where would he go?), his thumb moving in small circles across the flushed skin, as if to make sure it was really there.
Then he leaned in closer to give Carlos a sweet, closed mouthed kiss like the ones the couple often do. They had only ‘made out’ once before, and it had ended with Kevin having a panic attack. (“Kevin, I’m so sorry, I didn’t remember-” “Don’t. Touch me.” An uncomfortable silence. “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you, Carlos.” “No, it’s okay. How about we watch a movie now? I could fix us some popcorn.". They often put on movies with a lot of dialogue so Kevin knew what was going on. Carlos learned to be very descriptive when there wasn't. That night, and the week after, no one noticed, or just didn’t want to bring up the bruise forming on Carlos’ wrist.)
He pulled away, and pulled Carlos into a hug, running his fingers through the thick, black hair his scientist had in an affectionate matter. Then, before going to their living room, he grinned that toothy smile of his and walked away.
Carlos took a deep breath, and walked back to their bed. Laying himself down on the blankets, he smiled up at the ceiling. Kevin always said his smile was beautiful. (When asked what he meant, since he had never even seen Carlos, Kevin just shrugged and replied, “You are beautiful when you do beautiful things.”) He had a perfect life, didn’t he? Yes, he was blessed with good health, a beautiful home in a friendly city, and a handsome boyfriend whom loved him so very, very much. A perfect, perfect life.
