Iron Lung Simon Adult Alphabet
No one's done this yet? Okay I'll do it!
Warning: Smut and related subjects.
I did divide this one into his Pre-Movie Simon and Movie Simon, since I figure his behavior and interests would have enough external factors that would impact the way these headcanons are applied. I've denoted them as his Butcher Era and Convict Era. Where there is no difference is where I headcanon his thoughts have stayed consistent through his life.
A= Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)
Simon The Butcher is surprisingly gentle. After the pressure is released and his lust is satisfied; he does take some time to check his bedmate for any injuries that might get infected. It's not like he'll directly ask you to stay longer and cuddle. That would ruin his reputation! But if you insisted or quietly curled up in his chest well…warriors need their rest to fight and defend Eden. He couldn't possibly risk someone's health because they couldn't sleep alone. He'll take what he wants and what others expect of hi.. be he will also accept whatever hes given, just don't expect him to ask for it by name.
Simon the Convict is a more apparent caregiver after sex. Giving up what ration of water he has to make sure his partner is hydrated and clean. Checking over injuries. Talking with them afterwards. He is willing to beg his partners to stay a little longer. To comb their fingers through his hair or rub his back. He will do anything you ask: Praising? You were the best damn person hes laid with since the quiet rapture. Is he hurt? Nah, he got worse with Eden hell be fine. Do you need a lullaby? A conversation? Silence? Will do! People pleasing to the max, much to his person detriment. He really will need a partner who insists on his health as well. He doesn't think he deserves anything nice.
B= Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and of their partner)
Simon the Butcher has been complimented and praised during his training about his blade work. So he really appreciates all his hands do. How they work and feel when fighting or fucking someone. How they look pressed against his partners throat or wrists. In his partners? He doesn't really care for any particular body part. Though if pressed he may say hands as well. Will watch how his partner moves their hands as they work. Recall them on his body, how they pressed or scratched him. And yeah, hes hard again. Dammit.
Simon the Convict still likes his hands the most, though the appreciation extends up to the shoulder as well. The range of motion, the strength he can carry, the hugs he can give and take. Yeah, whole arm. In his partner he loves every inch, especially if they're of a softer physique. His life has been rough, so any part that jiggles or is squishy on his partner will receive some extra affection from him. Mainly nuzzling and squeezing from His aforementioned hugs.
C= Cum (Anything to do with cum, honestly)
Off white. Very thick and musky from chronic dehydration and poor diet. Uses it to mark his partners on occasion. Makes for a tacky organic body jewelry.
D= Dirty Secret (A dirty secret of theirs)
Simon the Butcher craves tenderness and romance. He wants to be wooed. Flirted with and teased on end. Stress and work make escapades quick and impersonal on average, so to have that connection, to spend time building that relationship into its more vulnerable intimacy? That may as well be a dirty secret in of itself.
Simon the Convict is no better about the tenderness. He's just unapologetic loud about it. Which makes the secretive biting/marking all the more confusing to people who may not know him. How could this sweet killer crave violence after everything? Really its just a matter of leaving something of himself behind. A lingering reminder of what happened that won't go away too quickly like a bruise or small cut could. To scar and be scarred is his fantasy.
E= Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they're doing?)
Simon the Butcher has the basics. Insert rod A into slot B multiple times until orgasm. In terms of everything else relating to relationships like flirting or communicating interest/kinks. It's incredibly limited. He's rather blunt in this era of his life. Experienced in the basics.
Simon the Convict is far more willing to explore and learn. Adapting readily to new ideas and kinks his partner comes to him with. In this and the romantic side of sex he has more experience than in the past. Though he is still rather blunt with his own wants and needs.
F= Favorite Position (This one speaks for itself)
Cowgirl, missionary, lotus, prone bone, flatiron, anything that let's him see his partners face and be as close as possible. Eternally craving skin on skin. All his life. He might get rougher or do something different, but only to accommodate his partners wishes.
G= Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous, etc.)
Simon the Butcher is blunt no nonsense fucking. His dirt talk consists of repeated yeses, fucks, damns, and simple praises for how tight his partner feels or how deep they reach in him. Not too much of a goofball, he doesn't know how.
Simon the Convict isn't silly as hes more sincere. Which can come off as cheesy rom-com sometimes. Any goofing is accidental, hes trying to be romantic.
I= Intimacy (How are they in the moment? The romantic aspect)
Simon the Butcher is only intimate in the privacy of his bunk. And even then he makes sure the room is clear. As much as he craves the gentle touches and sweet words his brothers would tease him endlessly if he was caught being soft. It's a painful repression of himself that he feels he has to do (though really he never needed too. Peer pressure on Eden is a bitch). But in the moment, there would be a gentle affectionate moment or three that gets sneaked into the roughness.
Simon the Convict is an unrepentant romantic. New lust for living and life that would show in the Hoizier levels of worship in the bedroom. He would learn to sing and write a song just for his partner. He would speak every praising though out loud. Every touch from his bloodied hands would be so gentle and kind. He would t even bother with personal satisfaction, content to just serve and witness pleasure in another, pleasure brought by his hands and will.
J= Jack off (Masturbation headcanons)
Jacking off is about the only anti-depressant level in the universe let's be real. It's a daily thing. Company or not. Helps him sleep.
K= Kink (One or more of their kinks)
Simon the Butcher needs control. He needs to know the space is safe. Needs to have his partner obey him. Needs them to be good for him. His life is already dictated by others. So to have one thing in this world be his to command? Oh that gets him harder than diamonds. He also needs them to praise him. Needs to hear how good hes doing, how great his cock is at filling them up. Even in the roughest sessions he'll order his partner to repeat praises back to him. It might be ego, but for him its reassurance.
Simon the Convict is not so controlling but he really gets off to the praises more when they're authentic. When he's fucking someone and they just instantly praise him, well metaphorical tails be wagging. Speaking of, as soon as a Partner introduces him to Pet play or age play, any role play where his mind can just shut down and trust someone else with his needs? It's paradoxical, but he loves it. Might be from the praising aspect of it all, hes always been a pleaser and got off to others praising him for good things. It might be trauma from his time in Eden. Who knows, there's no psychologists left in the universe to figure that shit out. He'll be the best boy his partner could have!
L= Location (Favorite places to do the deed)
Simon the Butcher would prefer privacy. But there are just days where its all too much and he either needs to fuck someone or get dicked down. The gym has an unspoken agreement for those kinds of needs. A rough performance sure. But it just eases the ache for public validation or humiliation.
Simon the Convict would do it in the garden. Not on the plants mind. Maybe like a bench or stone feature. Shame? Why would have shame for showing his partner love in the most beautiful place he could imagine? Just enjoy the free show asshole, yes its an Eden thing.
M= Motivation (What turns them on? What gets them going?)
Simon the Butcher feels it more after each fight or skirmish he returns from. The rush of a fight just now calming down. Just in time for that niggling little secret want for reassurance to become overwhelming. Doesn't hurt that their squad are treated like heroes every time they return home to Eden Station. So hes not short on awe struck civilians willing to take a ride. He just has to hope they also want to cuddle afterwards.
Simon the Convict gets hotter under the collar when his partner just brushes by them. It could be innocent "coming through" in the kitchen. Or more intentional "you have some time?". No matter the context: when he feels hands trail over his waist lightly, or wrap around him as they whisper. He is near feral with how quickly those affectionate touches become sexually charged.
N= No (Something they won’t do)
Simon the Butcher cannot be restrained by inanimate objects. No ropes, no cuffs, no locked doors, no restrains of any kind d that he cannot escape immediately from. He's part of Eden's safety. If the station is attacked, he has to be quick to respond to threats.
Simon the Convict isn't into pain. Not for himself. HE doesn't want it. He doesn't like it. Pain for pain sake is not his thing. He's willing to do it for others if they express interest about it. He knows far more about the human body than most outside his unique history would. He rationalizes it as "I have knowledge others don't, I'm the safety person to do this with." And for the most part he is really good at dishing out pain. Even better: it gives him an excuse to be even more tender and caring afterwards which he really, really loves. Win/win.
O= Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Simon the Butcher is indifferent to oral. Has a slight preference for receiving oral from others. But if he looses a gym fight and that's what the Victor wants? Meh, fine.
Simon the Convict is a giver. A messy, loving giver. He wants everything life can give and if that includes him sucking dicks or eating pussies. He'll do it. Just let him watch and admire, pretty please?
P= Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual?)
Simon the Butcher ends up in more fast rough sexscapades than he would like. But release is release. If he has to take his time jacking off at night later like he likes. Then he'll enjoy the slower pace alone.
Simon the Convict is almost glacial with how slow he is. Everything starts well before the bed even comes into play. Lower than polite touches. A murmured remark on how his partner looks or how hot they are. Later the words might get more raunchy, whispered close and so soft its almost hard to hear him: "if I could bend you over, fuck you here and now in front of your coworkers, I would.". Just an ever building escalation from the moment he wakes up. He'll deny himself and his partner for as long as he can stand it. A game ultimately to see who breaks first. And even then the actual sex takes longer to reach to with how dragged out foreplay is.
Q= Quickie (Their opinions on quickies/how often)
Simon the Butcher: quickies are the unfortunate norm. He doesn't want quick. But its all anyone will give him.
Simon the Convict: hates them. Makes this displeasure heard loud and clear. He'll be rough, he'll go for as many rounds as his body can handle in quick succession. But if he cannot have the time to appreciate what's happening and the beauty of the act itself? He doesn't want it.
R= Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks?)
Risk-taker extraordinaire. His partner wants a blade pressed against their throat while he fucks them? Sure. Partner wants a public spectacle in front of the other Eden military or guard? Sure. Orgy with questionable sanitation and safety? Sure. He'll take what he can get. Would he rather experiment in some privacy? Absolutely. But there's pressure to conform. Or at least perform as others expect from him. He doesn't get more personally restrictive until he returns or is in the blood ocean and hes gone through his life changing ordeal. And even then its a fight to actually speak up, because hes just so accustomed to acquiescing to other people's desires.
S= Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)
Simon can manage like 2-3 rounds personally. But he'd rather settle for one long session where he plays with his partners body ad drive them insane with bliss, than personally satisfy himself sexually. This been a long standing thing he can confidently claim to feel forever.
T= Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? With a partner or on their own)
Toys are a waste of limited resources. No.
U= Unfair (How much they like to tease)
So much. So fucking much. Butcher era or convict era. Simon will tease to hell and back before ever even thinking of fucking someone. And he has the willpower to deny himself as long it takes to see his partner become a begging mess. He loves being unfair, loves to see them squirm in their wanting. It's a power trip for him. He makes it up in the end, never worry, satisfaction for his partner is just as satisfying to see as the pleading for his hands or cock.
V= Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
Not all that loud. A grunter. Grumbling rumble of a voice. Low moans and soft pleading. Whispers that tickle the earlobe. It's easier to hear bodies smacking together than it is to hear him talking. But every word counts.
W= Wild Card (A random headcanon for the character)
Simon the Butcher has fantasies of overpowering the Father. Killing him and Taking over Eden, leading them all himself. He has dreams where he is worshiped as a savior by the others. Respected and touched not in the rough quick ways hes known, but slow reverence and care. There are dreams where he is at the center of a group touched and love in all the ways he desires. He's never acted upon these dreams, never told anyone either. But its a nice enough dream he revisits the thought on occasion.
Simon the Convict just wants to live. In all seriousness he is not as forward in his wanting as much as he was in his youth. He doesn't feel any less, and his sex drive certainly doesn't shrink. But he feels like he doesn't deserve nice things anymore after Filament Station and all that's happened. So he doesn't go and ask someone he fancies for a shag. He waits for people to come and ask him instead.
X= X-ray (What’s going on under those clothes?)
About average for a human. 5.5 flaccid, 5.9 hard. Girthy at the tip. What you see is what you get. But he knows how to use it.
Y= Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
YEARNER. YEARNER YEARNER YEARNER. There is so much yearning that can fit into that sad wet cat man the yearning would fill an Olympic pool if it was blood. Okay? He is DTF all day, everyday, therapist, father, maid. He's the guy who has to control himself from just going and spending the entire day with his partner having marathon sex okay?! The only reason he cannot spend 24/7 just servicing his partner to teary messy cumrag wetness is because he has to eat, and humanity as a whole needs to survive somehow and he wants to help with that. Eden, COI, himself, doesn't matter. If he's staring from across the bar he's already pictured them naked. What else is he supposed to do at the end of world for entertainment?
Z= Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
He does not sleep until his partner is asleep. No exceptions. In his youth it was more so he could shush his brothers or sisters when they returned to rest so they don't accidentally wake up. Or he can explain why hes "trapped" beneath a Civilian pretending to be their pillow. In his Convict era its more so he can marvel at the trust and life in his arms. Just appreciating the moment as it is. When all the activity is over and his body aches pleasantly. He doesn't want the moment to end too soon.












