#khapoetry

[khaboom]

I wonder to myself always "When will the pain leave me?" "When will I be happy again?" I just want to stop crying and I want my mind to stop diverging to you I want to become my own person Not a prisoner to my past and memories I want to be whole again To be me To sincerely live my life with content and happiness I want to breathe I want to swim without drowning I want to live.

Ready to live again ( @khaboom )

[khaboom]

This time last year was so different. It was the start of something new- you were someone I was looking forward to. We were going to be something more. Now, I'm hoping the new year will help me let go of you. Now, I'm looking forward to moving on. Now, I'm looking forward to forgetting you. Oh, how much things have changed. But that is life. Nothing lasts forever, you certainly didn't. And one day, I will realise why. I will accept it. I will be happy again. I will thank God that He took you away from me. Until then, I'm trying. I'm trying real hard to get over you. So here is to the new year- A year of new beginnings for my soul, mind and heart.

A revival of my self. ( @khaboom )

[khaboom]

What would you do if you heard that I was dead? Would you cry? Or would you just go on with your life? What would you do if I left you a note? A note with words expressing my pain, my anger but most importantly my love? What would you do if you heard that I was dead? Would you even care? Would you pray for me? Or would you go on with life? Well, what if I told you that I am dead That my heart is crushed and cannot be repaired. That my brain has visited dark places. That my soul has become cold. That I am now a mess. A human with broken pieces. What if I told you that I am dead? Maybe I'm not buried 6 ft underground, But my heart, mind and soul Cannot be found. What if I told you that I am dead? I am sure you wouldn't care As you are the one that caused all this despair.

Dead ( @khaboom )

[khaboom]

I guess leaving me wasn’t a hard decision for you after all. How could the same person that ignite love and hope in me, be the same person to ignite sadness and disappointment in me? I hate the way you made me feel. I hate the way you hurt me. I hate that I’m so consumed with sadness whilst you are happily moving on. It’s like I was a phase - part of your lost list of exes. A temporary person that didn’t mean much to you at all. And the sad thing is; You don’t even give a shit about it all. You don’t give a damn what about me at all. You didn’t consider how much you leaving me would cause my heart to shatter You go on with your life like me leaving was the greatest blessing you ever had. I am done with feeling so sad. I am done with feeling this hurt. If only it was that easy to switch it off.

3:44am ( @khaboom)

[khaboom]

I know you don't regret letting me go You don't regret breaking me into pieces I know you are content with the decision you made But I'd like to ask you the following: Did you regret ever getting to know me? Did you regret coming into my life? Did you regret igniting my love? Did you regret saying all those 'beautiful' things? Did you regret sharing your life stories with me? Did you regret making me feel like I was loved? Did you regret making me feel like I was your everything? Did you regret it? If you say no. I will not believe your words. As you don't leave someone so easily if you truly did love them. You don't make them feel like they're special to only make them feel like they're worthless.

You just don't ( @khaboom)

[khaboom]

Thinking about what we had is exhausting.. Thinking about what we could of had if you didn't stuff it up is exhausting. Thinking about you is exhausting. Feelings are just too exhausting.

When they ask me why I look tired. ( @khaboom)

[khaboom]

I noticed the flags but failed to follow them. I was still holding onto the hope that you were different. I was still holding onto the hope that you'll stay and work hard for me just like how I would work hard for you, But I guess I was wrong. You let me down. You followed your ego and buried me straight underground I don't know if I can forgive you Not now anyway. Did you even regret what you did? I hardly think so. But remember this: remember that I was the one to make you better You walked into my life for a positive change And you left like what we had was nothing. I wish I knew your doubts sooner.... Now I am left; cold and bitter.

( @khaboom)

[khaboom]

Your words disguised your cavalier attitude. I failed to smell the lies from your breath I failed to feel the dishonesty from your lips You hid it all so cleverly. Never did I taste a pint of poison from your tongue. It felt right and sincere... But I was so wrong. you were a chameleon A modern day magician. You try to make sense of your actions and reasons; painting a picture of yourself as someone with a sweet disposition.

Fake ( @khaboom)