kid-inside replied to your post “Is anybody else getting annoyed with Ae Ra for the past couple...”
Dong Man is also selfish, it's hard watching those who you love getting hurt, and this is serious, he could lose his hearing. She had to make this decision, bc she would drive herself crazy with worrying about him
lecheri replied to your post
I agree with @kid-inside. And to add to this, Aera was drawing her boundaries. Ultimatums suck but I don't think it was selfish. She couldn't bear him risking his life and her having to live in fear. That's not fair for Aera either. That fear is real.
No one is saying Ae Ra’s fear isn’t real or that it isn’t right of her to express her fears to Dong Man. What the issue is, is that Ae Ra is using that fear to control/manipulate Dong Man, which is never, ever acceptable. She did not make a decision... An ultimatum is not a decision, rather it is “a final demand or statement of terms, the rejection of which will result in retaliation or a breakdown in relations”. She told Dong Man he had only two choices he could make: he continues MMA and loses her, or he gives up MMA and stays in a relationship with her. This was selfish because she left the responsibility up to Dong Man, and either choice he makes, she is not at fault because technically he decided what to do. If Ae Ra wanted to be fair and not selfish, she could have broken up with him herself because that is her decision and it’s made because she couldn’t handle the fear... Thus taking responsibility for the breakup.
Honestly, the easiest way to see if this was selfish or not would be to reverse the genders. Put Ae Ra in Dong Man’s place and have Dong Man giving the ultimatum. If that was the situation, we would all be saying it’s unfair, unfeminist, paternalistic, etc.
And another thing, Ae Ra never really once supported Dong Man’s decision to join MMA and never listened to his reasons for joining/continuing. Throughout the whole series, it was all about her, her fears and her wants. She actively disrupted his practice sessions, kept demanding he go back to his old job and stop fighting... So in essence, she’s been selfish about this issue the entire time, not just in regards to her ultimatum.
I also don’t agree that Dong Man is being selfish. No one has the right to control another’s life or decide for them what to do. MMA is what Dong Man wanted and it’s his decision to continue with it or not. He had tried reassuring Ae Ra in regards to his fighting and getting injured, which in my opinion, is all he can do. It should be his choice to give up MMA for Ae Ra, not Ae Ra laying down the law. Dong Man even explained why he couldn’t give up MMA for her; that the past 10 years working as an exterminator he was barely existing. He was deeply unhappy and MMA finally gave him some joy in his job. If he gave up MMA, there was no other career option available to him except low skill jobs because he didn’t have other skills beside taekwondo and I don’t think he even went to college, so he doesn’t have the education to pursue something different. MMA made Dong Man happy, and I don’t believe pursuing what makes you happy is selfish.