#kieran asks

[ghostassimar]

kieran and his big juicy ass

Sure

[orchidscript]

When they laugh, does it match their voice, or does it seem like it doesn’t suit them? - for Kieran!

This is a really good question for Kieran, because he kind of has a foot in both options!

His laugh matches his voice and, when it happens, it suits him very nicely -- bright and loud, cheerful, the kind of laugh that makes his daughters laugh too. However, Kieran isn’t exactly that person without a long warm-up period. So people tend to be surprised the first time they hear him laugh because it’s so infrequent, it almost seems like it shouldn’t suit him.

(Thank you for asking about Kieran, Ash. I love my anxious bean so so much and I love talking about him!)

[ghostassimar]

can we get a kieran plot summary on here?

i know those are hard but i have too many specific questions and i want to help you get the bigger picture out there first B⁠-⁠)

OKAY SO imagine a dnd group in game and there’s a fallen aasimar (angel and human child) who is on a revenge plot for her sister (Ashe), another aasimar who can’t fall or be unfallen bc they sit outside the norm bc they are a full bronze statue (Wings), a half orc of few words who keeps them all level (Big Guy), and two kids who are along for the ride, protected by the group, and never apart (the pair). Now imagine they are all fiercely protective of each other and have gotten used to it being just them doing any quests they want as they do their own important life quests. Now imagine a guy is made to join the group, he’s an aasimar who claims he’s fallen and wears a mask to protect them (not necessary) and is generally a loner and off putting. One scholar in particular (Emil, my beloved) helping him come out of his shell by just being a bro ( @bigdumbbottom made this guy. Btw) and also maybe they kiss and hold hands

This is mainly just a book about them slowly integrating him into the group, him unlearning everything he was taught and learning how to love and be loved by people until he feels he can go back to his life quest which has been fundamentally changed (“earning” his spot back is now overthrowing a kingdom and helping its people). Along the way there’s torture multiple times 😭, people who are written in their dna from birth to love and protect someone as their life purpose (one being unrequited, the other being used for it), some fun fantasy sex, some group separating and fighting like hell to get back together, a man hunt for the main character including assassins that used to be his childhood crush but then got winter soldiered, and a lot of very gentle and not so gentle ugly healing for all of them. If I ca promise you one thing, this book will have a happy ending, I promised myself when I started it that no one dies for the shock value and I the end they Will all live together happily and warm, I will not write an unsatisfying ending to this

[orchidscript]

9 and 4 for Henry, 6 for Kieran please :)

Thank you!

4. What song(s) do you associate with them? (Henry)

Oh a ton. I have a whole playlist that maybe I’ll post someday. My top 4 are Gotta Get Away by The Black Keys, San Luis by Gregory Alan Isakov, Talk by Hozier, Dancing With a Stranger -- Sam Smith, and The Waning Moon by Chad Lawson.

Surprisingly mellow, to be honest.

9. Do they think they’d make a good parent, regardless of whether they want kids or not? (Henry)

Oh this is a good one! I think Henry would be a good parent to a bunch of fur-babies. I don’t think he’d do well with an actual child, let alone a baby. He does really well with Gabi and Rosie, as well as Kieran and Eli’s daughters, Sylvia and Essie -- but a lot of that is because he considers them all family and they call him their uncle sometimes. 

I think a lot of what happened to him will come back in uncomfortable ways as he gets older, especially in regards to children. And I think Henry would be better prepared to apologize for scaring a cat than he would be after accidentally scaring his own child. 

But, you know, people change. And that’s not to say I won’t eventually see his story line going that way. I just don’t think that’s his path right now.

6. Do they have a hobby/interest they don’t want others to know about? (Kier)

Frankly, any time Kieran does anything he doesn’t want anyone to know about it. The man has a massive fear of judgement. BUT, there are a few things: 

(1) He got the idea to get a tattoo after he and Eli got married; only he and Eli know about the tattoo after he gets it. Felix did the sketch it’s based on without know it. And Kieran never plans on telling anyone about it. 

(2) He likes to bake with his daughters, especially for their school celebrations and things. This he doesn’t keep a secret because he’s ashamed of it or anything. He just really likes knowing that he has this thing with his little girls and doesn’t want anyone else to spoil it. (Eli and Uma know, but Kieran doesn’t know they know. He hasn’t figured out that Sylvia tells her mama and gran everything they do on the weekends. 6 year olds aren’t the best secret keepers)

[orchidscript]

Wait does Caleb actually hate Kieran (and if he doesn’t, has he ever tried to reassure/bond with him)? And why would Kieran think he, especially, does?

Oh no, Caleb likes Kieran just fine. They aren't super close necessarily -- the only things they have in common are Eli and the occasional soccer game. Caleb and Eli got close after Caleb and June got married; and then June and Kieran get really close after Kieran and Eli have Sylvia.

Caleb isn't aware of Kieran's assumption. Kieran is naturally sort of subdued but friendly, so he'd never guess. It isn't something Eli really knows either -- he's never told her anything more than Caleb is kind of intimidating, which she understands.

It's funny though, because if Kieran ever voiced his feeling there, Caleb would 100% commiserate. For his entire relationship with June, Caleb has been completely terrified of his father in law. He and June got married very young, and June's father made a point of bullying Caleb under the impression that June was going to drop out of nursing school if she stayed with him because Caleb never finished college (he lasted one semester; it wasn't for him and he doesn't regret it). Case in point: Caleb was never going to do that and June's a very good nurse, but the fear there still lingers.

I actually have a chapter in Hallford that I started then cut out completely, and it has a whole scene of Kieran and Caleb meeting and Caleb watching Kieran play with a then-four-year-old Rosie, who likes Kieran very very much. Maybe I'll think about finishing that, anon... if I can find the notebook lol!

[orchidscript]

👹⭐️💥 for Kieran? (Btw I would absolutely love to read more about him!!)

Hey there, anon! Thank you so much for the asks -- and I'll be sure to post more of Kieran, and maybe reblog some of the old stuff too :)

👹 How does you OC act around different people and how does their personality change to match the environment they’re in? How do they act with: friends, family, strangers, children or their lover(s)?

Kieran is more or less the same person, but with variations on the theme. With his work department, he's quiet but friendly. With his students he's encouraging and enthusiastic, clearly on their side and wanting them to learn the most, do their best in his class. But these relationships aren't core, so they only see the positive albeit nerdy side of himself.

With his family -- Eli and their daughters, Felix, and his adoptive parents -- he's a bit more forth coming with his struggles. He doesn't feel the need to put on positive airs if he doesn't feel that way and know they won't begrudge him for it. With his daughters, he's caring and attentive, he would do absolutely anything for them and wants them to know they'll never have to work for his love or attention, just like Matthew did for him growing up.

He adores his in-laws, but is a bit more guarded around them. Especially Caleb, who he convinced himself a long time ago hates him. Henry is also in this category, even though Kieran cares a lot for him; same as his birth father and the rest of the James family. He cares for them, loves them, but isn't yet sure how open he can be without scaring them off. He's very sure he's going to scare them off.

💥 Are there any emotions your OC doesn’t know how to deal with, doesn’t understand or hates having to feel? Any reason behind this?

Anger. He gets better at it with time, therapy, and age, but anger is an emotion that scares him. He prefers to avoid it or deny it entirely rather than actually feel angry and risk doing something he regrets (the reality is that Kieran regrets being angry in the first place).

Therapy pushes him to be better at expressing his anger in a healthy and safe way; Eli encourages him to be open with her. It makes the anger less scary for him to feel, forces him into the confrontation he hates the most, and shows him he can channel it in safe ways.

⭐ Does your OC like to sleep alone or do they enjoy sharing their bed? Have they been to any sleepovers? Have they ever been camping? What did they think of the experiences if so?

Kieran doesn't mind either way -- he doesn't mind being in hotels or at dig sites alone, but he loves snuggling before bed with Eli. He went to a few sleepovers in middle school, but that's about it, and he's definitely not a camper. Actually, the idea of Kieran on a camping trip is hysterically funny. It's just 1000% not his scene.

[orchidscript]

014, 035 & 068 for Kieran? :)

Hi there! Thank you so much :)

014. Detail one secret shame your character feels.

Kieran feels a lot of guilt and shame for wanting to find his birth father. His family — parents, brother, wife, in-laws — and friends are supportive of the move, and finally making that connection helped Kieran emotionally in the long run. But he still harbors a sense of guilt for it — as if wanting to know who his father is/was would be greeted as a betrayal by his family.

035. What is the most important rule your character lives by?

Staying in control, whatever that means. Because of anxiety, his childhood, and other circumstance, Kieran must must must be constantly in control. It was something that controlled his life for a very long time, to a detriment. He’s learned over time and with help to manage that feeling — it never leaves him, but the need to be in control has turned from something frantic into something empowering. (Like “I’m out of control, I need to get back in, I need to!” Turning into “I trust myself, I’m in control, I’m good.”)

068. How strong is your character’s sense of responsibility? What kinds of things trigger it?

Very strong, to a fault sometimes. If he’s not on top of it, that sense of responsibility can turn to blame very quickly. It’s another thing he’s learned through therapy how to manage.

But, Kieran had a strong sense of responsibility— towards his adoptive family, towards Eli and their daughters, towards his students and co-workers. That is very much bound up in his sense of loyalty to those people. Loyalty towards his parents and brother; the love his feels for his wife and children and his need to be the best father he can; the desire to be the best professor his students have, to be available, and make sure they do well. It guides him nearly as much as being in control does, come to think of it.

Thank you for asking!

[orchidscript]

Hey! Was Kieran (besides emotionally) ever physically abused by his mother?

cw: child abuse and after effects

Hey there, anon. Kieran was emotionally and physically abused by his birth mother. He walks away with anxiety, separation anxiety, an aversion to crying and confrontation, and several small scars on his arms, his collar, and one near his nose (among other things; my boy has some nervous habits and a tendency towards self-punishment that never completely go away).

From the moment he comes into their home, Matthew and Uma make sure he gets the help and love he needs. Even when Kieran clashes with Felix, their other child.