#kilbride

[ejzah]

A/N: A small follow-up to yesterday’s dialogue drabble.

***

Kilbride, at a team gathering: Who is the blonde woman talking to Agent Blye?

Deeks: My mother, Roberta Deeks.

Kilbride: Oh. Well, I suppose I should introduce myself.

Deeks, surprised: Sure. Just one thing. My mom might flirt with you at some point. Don’t take it to heart.

Kilbride, perplexed: Why on earth would she do that?

Deeks, shrugging: I don’t know. She’s still a hippy at heart? She enjoys causing chaos? Honestly, even after knowing her for forty or so years, she still mystifies me at times.

Kilbride, now uncomfortable: I would prefer if she did not make any advances. Though I’m sure she’s a lovely woman.

Deeks, reassuring: Don’t worry. At this point, Mama’s flirted with almost every male on this team. Including Sam. On my wedding day.

Kilbride: Unbelievable. Alright, I will try not to take any of your mother’s actions, or words, seriously.

Deeks, relieved: Thank you, sir. Oh, but if she tries to convince you to go on a road trip with her, say ‘no’.

[ejzah]

A/N: Kilbride isn’t quite as curmudgeonly as he’d like to think.

***

Deeks: Sir, I need to leave early on Monday.

Kilbride, sighing: What is the current catastrophe? A family illness, perhaps. You’re adopting more children? No, I suppose your dog has an emergency vet appointment.

Deeks, after a lengthy pause: Actually, I need to pick Rosa up from school early.

Kilbride: I see. Well, why not have an agent pick her up instead and bring her to the boat shed? I can work from there.

Deeks, uncertainly: So you’re offering to stay with Rosa?

Kilbride, tersely: It didn’t go that badly last time. Your daughter is a decent conversationalist and surprisingly respectful.

Deeks: I’m sure there’s a compliment in there somewhere. That’s a very kind offer, sir. Unfortunately, I don’t think that will work out since Rosa has a vocational activity at a local museum. I missed the last one. Unless you’d like to help supervise fifteen or so 16-17 year olds.

Kilbride, with obvious distaste: Absolutely not. *he waves his hand* I approve the time off. And do not even think of bringing any of those other children here.

Deeks, dryly: Wouldn’t dream of it.

[ejzah]

A/N: I was busy making cookies very late, so I offer a small dialogue drabble.

***

Deeks, wincing: Ok, this is just getting ridiculous. You’ve pulled out at least thirty-five splinters already.

Kensi, methodically removing another: Sorry. Callen is lucky you tackled our suspect or he’d be the one sitting here with Sam manning a pair of tweezers.

Deeks, momentarily amused: That’s kind of an amazing image. *the door open and they both turn*

Kilbride, grimly: Do I even want to know what you to are doing in here?

Deeks, carefully shrugging: Unfortunately, nothing remotely dirty this time. Would you like to help Kensi yank the giant splinters out of my back?

Kilbride: I would not. In the future, conduct please first aid in a less suspicious location.

Deeks, after Kilbride leaves: I’m definitely off my game. Messing with Kilbride wasn’t nearly as enjoyable as usual. *Kensi comes around to face him and cups his cheeks* What are you doing?

Kensi, right before she kisses him: Distracting you from your pain. Plus, we can’t lose our reputation.

[ejzah]

A/N: A little dialogue drabble set right after Deeks finds out Roberta and Arkady are seeing each other.

***

Kensi, reassuring: Baby, I’m sure it’s nothing. You know Roberta is very social and knows a lot of people.

Deeks, obviously worked up: They’ve been having dinner together. How many of her relationships have gone well in the past. It’s a disaster.

Kilbride, frowning: Do I want to know why your mother is a topic of conversation.

Deeks, sighing: Apparently, my dear mother is engaged in a relationship of a romantic nature with Arkady.

Kilbride: They’re dating? You have got to be kidding me.

Deeks, sighing: Believe me, sir, I wish I was.

Kilbride, exasperated: I swear there is not one member of this team who is not personally involved with a Russian.

Kensi, with a little laugh: Hey, at least we know where they are, right?

*Deeks and Kilbride both give her unamused looks*

Deeks: I’m calling my mama.

Kilbride: And I’m pretending I have a normal team.

[ejzah]

A/N: Kilbride is a little crazy too.

***

Kilbride: Does anyone know why an incensed deputy director of the CIA is on the phone?

Deeks, wincing: Yeah, we might have something to do with that. We, uh, kind of stole their suspect.

Kensi, speaking very carefully: We heard them talking about making a deal, which would let a very dangerous man o back onto the streets.

Kilbride, concealing a smirk: I get the picture, Agent, Investigator. Keep up the good work.

Kensi, confused: I beg your pardon, sir?

Kilbride: I cannot stand that man.

Fatima, popping her head in the room: Sir, your call is waiting.

Kilbride, putting his hands behind his back: Inform him I’m in the middle of a very important meeting. I’ll call him back if I have time.

Deeks, as Kilbride walks away: You know, I think that man just might be crazy enough to fit in with this team.

Kensi: Well, thank god for that.

[ejzah]

A/N: Kilbride has a job for Deeks. Deeks has questions.

***

Kilbride: Investigator Deeks, you’re still up to date on your law license, correct?

Deeks, automatically: I am authorized to practice on the state of California, with specializations in criminal defense, family law, and tax law—though that last one is mostly for my mother. Why do you ask?

Kilbride: I need you to pull whatever legal trickery you use to get an agent out of jail.

Kensi, under her breath: Oh here we go.

Deeks, sitting up and folding his hands: What has this agent done and why can’t he get a different attorney?

Kilbride, annoyed: It’s a complicated situation.

Deeks: I’m afraid I’ll need a little more information before I put my license on the line.

Kilbride: You’ve gotten multiple agents on this team released under extremely suspicious circumstances and never made a complaint.

Deeks, cheekily: They’re on the friends and family plan.

[slimeyleech]

Just dropped some songs my old hardcore band DOBERMAN recorded last winter. When this band started a couple years ago I could barely play guitar. I’m still not very good but I’m really proud of the riffs i wrote on here. I tried to take riff inspiration from bands like GUNS UP! and DIRTY MONEY. I really like that style of hardcore. Im also just proud of how all these songs came together overall. It was fun to play something that wasn’t drums in a band. RIP we will probably never play a show again. Anyways check this out if you want. If you’re into stuff like expire you might like it. But also if you are into fast stuff you might like some of it too . Haha.

[ejzah]

A/N: Team LA is just a circus, and Kilbride has zero control of the monkeys.

***

Kilbride: Detective Deeks, where the hell do you think you’re going?

Deeks, pursing his lips: Do you really want to know?

Kilbride, after a moment of contemplation: No. *grumbling under his breath* I should have just retired when they offered me this position.

Kensi, curiously: Where are you going?

Deeks: The food truck down the street. It’s waffle fry Wednesday and just about lunchtime.

Kensi: Then why did you let him think it was something nefarious?

Deeks, shrugging: If Kilbride thinks we’re up to no good, he’ll be so relieved when we come back without causing any international incidents, he won’t care if we’re a few minutes late. *he offers Kensi his arm*

Kensi, leaning into him: I love your devious side.

Callen, having watched the whole exchange: Hm, we probably should have done something about that.