#kill the child

[lost-in-fandoms]

*quietly adds new things to the blocked tags*

[lizablackthorn]

keeps me alive rn

[aragorngp]

can we lock in its not funny anymore

[speedwagons-glorious-mane]

Lmao

[speedwagons-glorious-mane]

Lmao

[greenappleslices]

So I run a dungeons and dragons campaign.

I have six players, though most of the time only four show up.

HOWEVER: I have a whole thing in my notes app DEDICATED to this story.

Imagine:

You’re in a tavern and you and your party first meet, you overhear a farmer talking about something dangerous going on in the woods. Your party offers to help—for a price—and the farmer hires you to assist him.

You ask the farmer to lead you through the woods, when you’re suddenly attacked by bandits! Except, when you kill them, you find that one of them was a husband and father, two of them were having an affair on each other (the man’s wife knew and confronted the woman), and the other was an older sister trying to get money to provide for her younger siblings after her mom died of a terminal illness. Their names are all puns.

THEN you guys get attacked by wolves, but instead two of the party members take two of the three wolves! The third one runs away.

Then! A member of your party KILLS THE FARMER because they hate humans!

And so you guys decide you can’t go back to the original village so you keep moving forward. When you get to the next one, you guys are able to rest then in the middle of a bustling market, find an old woman who donates bread and her profits from bread selling to a nearby orphanage. Then the party member who hates humans kills her!

Then another party member kills the one who killed the old lady.

AND THEY KEEP GOING

Eventually they find a dungeon where they find a bag of holding, the character who killed the party member throws weapons in the bag, hitting a new party member inside! The bag then becomes fused with that character’s butthole. It becomes a whole thing.

And eventually, the party finds a fire genasi CHILD chained in the dungeon. After investigating, the party discovers the child is the daughter of the tyrant Queen of Fyre.

They go through a series of tests… AND THATS NOT EVEN WHERE WERE AT NOW

So long story short, I’m going to kill the child the party is now attached to. She’s going to get killed by her mother. Here’s my note file:

Dungeons and dragons ideas

- [x] Wall of flesh

- [x] Give the party a child to adopt and protect

- [ ] Have the party eat meat that tastes weird and it’s a Druid that was wild shaped and they discover a distraught party member

- [ ] Druid was wild shaped into a bear and was protecting “their” cub when killed and cooked

- [ ] When the party is REALLY pissing me off, make them do their saving throws for fireball being casted

- [ ] Kill the adopted child

- [ ] Horses are named variants of WD-40

- [ ] With the child, make her the daughter of Agnimitra. Make it out like Agnimitra is a cruel being and chained her into a dungeon because she was disappointed in the child. The child wears a tattered ball gown and has long hair made of flames. The child has a human’s skin tone with burn scars across her skin and red cracks. Her left eye is glossed over (blind) and her right eye matches Agnimitra’s eyes. The child is half human half fire genasi. Have the child sacrifice her life for the party’s OR have the child be killed by Agnimitra in a fit of rage. Some of the phrases the child will say to the party are to be checked off below (not necessarily in this order):

- [ ] “Do you think Daddy can see the same stars as us if he’s dead?”

- [ ] “Do you think Mommy will ever be proud of me?”

- [ ] “Why did Mommy put me away?”

- [ ] “Mommy! I found you!”

- [ ] “Mommy, are you proud of me now?”

- [ ] “Did I make you happy, Mommy?”

- [ ] “Woah! Your flames are so cool!” *to Reign*

- [ ] *While clinging to Reign* “You smell just like Mommy.”

[speedwagons-glorious-mane]

I apologise for my absence I have been incredibly busy but I finally took some time and worked on the latest chapter of Kill The Child, it's not done yet but I'm hoping it will be ready for me to post at the end of the month 😙✌️

[speedwagons-glorious-mane]

If you follow my fic Move Like A Ghost I apologise since there won't be an update this month, I ran out of pre-written chapters and I have a lot going on in my life at the moment so I haven't been able to write more so I currently don't have anything to post, if you follow my other fic, Kill The Child the next chapter of that is still on but I also don't have a lot of material stockpiled for that, fingers crossed I don't have to go back on hiatus but also I am really not kidding about the real life stuff, I'm going to be exhausted for the next 2 months