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📺 The Golden Girls (1990)

#nobody expects trouble from a cow #the golden girls #golden girls #betty white #rose nylund #cows #killer cows

Weekly Lesson: Killer Cows

For study until 22nd of September 2024 Subject: Killer Cows Audio: On usual social media platforms. Embellishment is a big part of storytelling in some parts of the UK, especially in Scotland and Ireland. When I first heard about cows killing people I rolled my eyes. As far as I was concerned this was another one of my Grandmother’s tall tales. The first time I heard about it I laughed it…

#killer cows #weekly lesson

#fake news #killer cows #water safety #sunday comics

lol

#funny #killer cows #comic #dark humor

If you're scared of sharks, remember that you're 11 times more likely to be killed by a cow than a shark.

#food for thought #sharks #killer cows

I Am Not Afraid Of Cows

I am not afraid of cows.

I mean, it’s not like they KNOW how many steaks, burgers, meatloafs, ribs, steak tartares, beef stews, meatballs, roast beef sandwiches, beef fajitas, chili con carnes, beef jerky sticks, tourtieres, beef & broccoli stir-fries, Zürcher Geschnetzeltes, sloppy joes, beef enchiladas, goulashes, veal parmesans, philly steak sandwiches, beef bourguignons, shepherd’s pies, beef salads, cabbage rolls, spagetti bologneses, jamaican patties, beef kabobs, beef curries, Bündnerfleisch, briskets, beef barley soups, tacos, lasagnas and beef stroganoffs I’ve eaten in my lifetime.

Even so, it would be a massive coincidence if I actually met the offspring of one I’ve eaten. And it’s not like cows would be able to travel across the country to exact revenge. “You killed my father. Prepare to die.” There are like, fences and things.

And sure, they weigh about 700 kg on average and hang around in tough-looking gangs on popular hiking routes for fun... and a group of them could easily surround and crush me, leading to a slow and painful death as I fought for breath, unable to call for help or escape the bovine horde, my life draining away as they so casually lean their massive weight against me, thinking back on my life and regretting every single time I politely refused ice cream and wondering what kind of sick society would let these vicious creatures wander free, only to have my suffering abruptly end as one gored me with its horns... but it would be silly to be AFRAID of them.