These past few days have been crazy. And they haven’t really slowed down. But that doesn’t discourage me from getting excited that I’m starting my first day of college tomorrow! I’m not on campus yet, but this is a major step for me.
I should probably write a post about this, but I have a 1200 word count I owe the journal, so I’ll probably keep it for another time.
This time, I’m going to share one of my first short stories I ever wrote. I probably wrote it in middle school. And if it was in high school, it would have had to be freshman year. I’m not certain, though.
Also, I haven’t edited it since then, so this is how middle school me viewed a final draft.
He looks at me, his dark brown eyes blank and his face expressionless.
Looking up at the Supervisor, I bite my lip. "Are you sure it's this door?"
He checks his papers again, "One pass for June Sun. Straight through there. I promise you, dear. It will be everything you've ever wished for."
What I have always wished for is happiness, protection and simplicity. Somewhere I can be free and completely myself. Where I no longer had to worry about anything or anyone. And that is what's promised to be on the other side. That is what I want more than anything, it's just the other part of what he said. 'One pass'.
My choice should be so simple! And it was up until two years ago. I've never really fit in here. I've always hated everything, the restraints and the people. Mostly the people. Here, it's every person for themselves.
That's why he stuck out to me.
I was crying in the park next to a tall tree. I knew it is against the rules to cry when you're 16 years old, but I couldn't help it. I got many dirty looks and a few threats to call the Supervisors on me. This only made me cry worse.
And then he came up. He had a sixteen on his collar as well. He was tall and his dark hair was cut short. His eyes were such a dark color and his jaw was set.
At first I was scared he was going to scold me. Tell me that I shouldn't be so stupid and to get up and go home. But he didn't. He stopped next to the tree, folding his arms across his chest and blocking me from view of anyone passing by. He gave me a chance to cry as hard as I needed and as long as I needed. And when I had finished and wiped my face, he left.
I didn't say a word to him and he never said a word to me.
This happened quite a few times afterwards. I wasn't always crying though. There were times I'd just be sitting under the tree after school just thinking and he'd sit next to me and start his homework, staying completely silent.
At the beginning he sat as far away from me as possible, but with time we started to get closer and closer together.
I remember that one day I was reading a book. I heard him come up and sit down next to me. I smiled softly to myself and leaned into his side. He tensed up at first, but then put his arm around me. People stared at us as they walked by. Touching is allowed, but is very much looked down upon by the Supervisors.
The next day, we spoke. We introduced ourselves. I learned his name was Tyson Locke. He was from the other side of the city, which explained why I never saw him at school, but he liked this park.
And we talked just a little bit more. And before he left I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.
He seemed embarrassed, especially since kissing is not allowed until you're seventeen. But after a while he got used to it and even kissed me a couple times.
And soon, people were calling us girlfriend and boyfriend. They made fun of us because that, too, wasn't allowed until seventeen.
And we walked holding hands.
And he smiled a lot more often.
And I didn't cry so much or feel like I didn't fit in.
Then seventeen came around and he was able to switch schools and we were able to see each other more often. And then eighteen came around and we had to make a decision. Do we go or stay?
And he invited me to see his door. He seemed deep in thought the whole time he spoke to the Supervisors. And his eyebrows turned down in concern. And he sighed and bit his thumb.
And then he finally turned and set the key on the ground.
I nearly gasped. Why would he do something like that? Why would he want to stay here, with all this selfishness?
He walked along beside me with his head down and his eyes on his feet. He didn't say a word as we were led to my door.
And as I stared at it, I finally realized. The people who chose to stay here had a reason. A reason to stay and fight everyday. That reason made living here not so hard.
He gave up his ensured happiness for me. Without knowing my choice, he chose to take this risk and walk away.
And now it's my turn to make my choice.
The Supervisor hands me the key. I walk up to the door and stare at it. This is my decision. The thing I've been waiting for my entire life.
I can hear Tyson's voice in my head. Something he said a long time ago. "I just want you to be happy."
I swallow. He told me what to do so long ago. He always knew my choice all along.
He knew I'd choose the door.
I turn and look at him for the last time and feel tears spring to my eyes. I blink and they slide down my cheeks in hot streams.
He looks at me with his brown eyes and smiles softly. "Be happy, June."
I feel a sob start in my chest as I turn back to the door. My hand is pressed to the wood, the white paint smooth against my skin.
I open my fist to look once more at the key before I let it fall through my fingers to the ground.
I turn and run to him, burying my face in his chest. He wraps his arms around me and squeezes me tight, "What did you do, June?" He sounds both angry and relieved.
I look up at him and he wipes the tears out of my eyes with his sleeve. "I chose happiness."
And now I know why crying is allowed at age eighteen.
I’m thinking about revising it later, clarifying a few things, maybe make it a bit longer. Probably when I have nothing better to do. But I think this was a pretty good attempt for a middle school kid.
Some people hate reading their old writing. I can enjoy it, sometimes. Especially when it turns out feeling like it has the potential to be something even better than it was before.
Entry 11 | Word Count: 1231
