#kinda prose

[reaper-writes]

Make My Heartbeat Race (keep the engine louder than these thoughts)

Cut through the haze

With sharp knives and tongues

Pierce it with a needle

Bejeweled and holey

Mark it up with the inky lines

That commit the past and present

Onto my skin

Make the dark go away

Once again

As I live for the now

That I can only claim

When my heart begins to race

Adrenaline isn't what I crave

But after high clarity

When you come down

And still feel real

But no longer scared

When the all the world seems tangible

And remarkable

And memorable

When I'd like nothing more

Than inky lines on my memory

But it will fade

Just in time for me to restart the chase

[unsend-v]

Empty.

My body has a vacant sign and it's been uninhabited for awhile. The only things that fill it are meaningless thoughts that make me feel hollow. My body is absent of the things I need , it's as if the void will never be filled and I keep shoving useless thoughts inside to fill the deserted space that is my body. The thoughts make me feel drained, I've been trying to furnish my body with positive thoughts but they get moved out and I'm left abandoned. True pain is feeling emptied of everything. My body is a hollow shell filled only with thoughts that drain and consume everything good I try to place in this house I call myself.

- trying to rebuild the home you left damaged

[reaper-writes]

Chemical Christmas Day 19

Cathedral

Religion is confusing

All the regulations

The we do this but

Don't do that

Our faith is true

Everyone else is wrong

The arrogance makes no sense to me

But this is only an opinion

Architecture of monuments

And buildings that last for ages

Serving religious purposes

Intrigue me greatly

The soaring steeples

And curving roofs

The stained glass testaments

And gilded finishes

Astonish and bring me peace

If I were to worship

I'd be honored to worship

Among such beauty

[reaper-writes]

A Leo Jupiter Makes The Heart Warm

There's something I've always known

There's strength in empathy

I've just buried it

Under layers of hurt

And vengeance

My grudges have made me hard

Not hearty

It's my love that makes me strong

It is my hope that carries me on

It's all the beautiful things

That make this life what it is

Who am I to deny that of myself?

[reaper-writes]

Chemical Christmas Day 7

Star

You're made of stars

From conversations of neurons

To pulsing phasers

And aligned mythical constellations

Your resting place to me

Will always be

On a grassy field

A warm summer breeze blowing gently

Just enough to cool

Clear skies

And shinning stars

Maybe a shooting one to two

With your blue eyes reflecting the night

I wouldn't watch the sky

I'd watch you

Just to see you happy and comfortable

For once

Looking at the stars you treasure

I hope they welcome you

When it's time for you to go home

[reaper-writes]

Chemical Christmas Day 3

Angel

I know an angel

He reassures me when I cry

He comforts me when I'm scared

His presence radiates warmth and security

I don't know his face

I'm not sure he wants me to

But he's better than the dark Angel's

That reside in my head

The ones who swoop in on raven's wings

To peck at my cozy thoughts

They snatch up Hope in their talons

Leaving me to rot

My angel doesn't chase them away

I've never asked him to

Maybe it wouldn't be too bad

If I asked for help

Every once in a blue moon

[reaper-writes]

Chemical Christmas Day 24

Quiet

I don't like the sound of silence

There's something disturbing

When life cannot be heard

Like the pristine muffled falling of snow

Otherworldly, too pretty to seem real

A once in a while opportunity

Forgotten once it happened

You see, memory will never serve to be

As good as the eyes

But memory is what gets too loud

When the noises are gone

It swallows me

Making me relieve things

Much worse to my heart

Than the falling of snow

But it's the moments if peace,

Of wonder that will never feel real,

That make the noises come back

And my thoughts quiet

Once more

In the gentle drifting of snow

[unsend-v]

You built galaxies inside of me and Saturn's rings were created around my heart and the milky was was deep in my core. Now when I see the stars scattered around the outside of the earth you cross my mind more than a million times.

- galaxies within galaxies