Thought.

poetry 21

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I can't stop thinking of what could of been as my mind spirals out of control trying to bring all the pieces together to build the puzzle.

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I won’t wash the things you packed tightly away in your suitcase. You have to be responsible for your own dirty laundry. 

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Suitcase

Every crevice of your suitcase was packed tightly with your emotions that you expected me to unpack. You wanted me to wash and fold everything inside, only to have all your emotions explode around the room when I opened it up. 

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I choose you over sleeping in

I choose calling you over going out

I choose you above everything else

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You are soaked in daylight and I am covered in the night sky

- distance

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One day our relationship won't be I miss you texts and longing for eachother in the middle of the night and when I can finally hold you again it will all be worth this constant feeling of missing you

- I hope you think it's worth it

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I'm bracing myself for what's to come and maybe just because my world is crashing around me it does not mean things are falling apart I must assume things are just falling into place

- flipping the switch

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I wanna go home.

But what do I do when my home left me and now all I have is four walls surrounding me instead of your two arms .

- My home was you

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They say distance makes the heart grow fonder.

The absence of you in my bed at night makes my heart long for you and I want to hear you ask for another kiss but I only find you missing from me as I turn over.

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my cup is full and I water the flowers I walk beside and sometimes my cup becomes empty but I've learned I can refill the cup myself.

- happiness is up to me

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I wake up searching for you in the darkness only to find the empty space beside me, I close my eyes and drift back to sleep saddened by the emptiness...

- come home soon , I miss you

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3:44 a.m.

I'd turn over and reach for you but my arms can't stretch 1,300 kilometres away so I'll hug myself tightly and hope you're doing the same.

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Loving someone isn't always easy, it's never 50/50 sometimes you have to pick up where they are lacking due to their own personal problems they may face. Loving someone can be hard when you have such a big heart because you would go to the moon and back to make sure that person is happy and have what they need, it's draining to go above and beyond but that's love sometimes and one thing you need to know is love is hard, just like any relationship in your life it's going to have its ups and downs so, remind yourself that it's worth it.

I love hard and I do everything in my power to make things better, to see the bigger picture and stay positive always.

So if you're reading this go tell the person you love that you love them because small acts of kindness and reassurance means so much.

- love just a little harder

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I found myself thinking as my legs dangle outside my window , I quietly whispered to myself that I want to go home . Although I was home , but home to me is your arms wrapped around me . My mother told me “home is where the heart is” and my heart has always been where ever you are .

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A glass box surrounds me as I scream for help but everyone on the outside sees it as laughing and smiling.

- I feel so alone in a world full of people

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My body is painted in the color blue and my head has every shade painted on each layer. I lay my body in the darkness of my room and cover every window with black curtains so the rain doesn't come in.

The days the sky fades to a beautiful blue shade my body washes into bright yellow and I begin to feel like the sun, my head is plastered in bright shades of yellows and the sunset warms the darkest corners of me...

- when will the sky turn blue because I feel very blue lately.

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Am I falling ? Am I sinking ? Surely I am because my body feels like it is submerged in the vast ocean and the waves are pushing me further away from shore. I once read it takes 3-4 minutes to die from drowning so I sit here and wonder how long it will take if the only ocean that is drowning me is the ocean of my thoughts.