Hey, that fic you reblogged reminds me of your kindergarten au! Will you ever bring that back?
Dang, you’ve been around for a while anon! Thanks for sticking around 😂
I don’t plan on bringing back that au, at least not the way it was back then. I do love baby hermits tho, and may or may not have a fic about it in my back pocket 👀
“Hello, you will call me Ms. Taylor. Your assignment is on your tables. I don’t want a word out of any of you until it’s complete.” The sharp woman sat behind Mumbo’s desk, staring down the fidgeting children. Slowly, they turned to their papers, confusion setting in. It was the alphabet- they knew that, but what do they do? When Mumbo was there, they sang the song, and sometimes danced! This was not dancing. It was black and white and boring.
“X, you’re smart, whatta we do?” Iskall whispered across the table. Concentration was etched across X’s face- which was visible, as the substitute had taken his helmet away. She also took Biffa’s yellow glasses, because she thought they were toys, and Scar’s scarf, because it was ‘a choking hazard’.
“Uhh, I think we draw the letters. Like the song, but on the paper.” X gripped the crayon tightly, tracing the first letter carefully.
CRACK
The substitute slowly stood, and stalked over to X. “If you press the crayon that hard, it’s going to break. Try again.” Quivering, X grabbed a new crayon, but his shaking prevented him from drawing a proper line.
"This generation is our downfall…” She tsked. “Pretend you’re drawing a pretty picture, and then make the letter. Surely you’ve done this before?” Hesitantly, the children shook their heads. Mumbo let them play and dance and make friends, not draw letters.
“Well then, your teacher is not doing his job properly. Try again.” She walked away, muttering about how she couldn’t believe that man was ever hired. If she was in charge, he would’ve been gone years ago.
Two tables over, Tin, Joe and Tango grabbed their crayons. “I don’t like her…” Tin muttered.
“She thinks Mumbo didn’t teach us good.” Tango poked his tongue out the corner of his mouth, setting to work.
“Teach us well.” Joe corrected. Silence fell as they concentrated deeply. The silence that filled the room was thick enough to be cut with a knife.
The simple assignment took the students all day, and many of them had to take it home to finish- their first ever homework. The instant the final bell rang, the children bolted out the door, some sneaking around back of the school.
“We will now bring dis meetin to order, all rise for Judge Scar!”
“Wow Doc, you’re so smart!” Python complimented as the small group sat again.
“I learned that from my dad’s tv show.” He said proudly.
“Alright!” Scar caught their attention. “That lady was the worst, right?”
Cries of agreement rang through the playground. “I miss Mumbo!”
“Kay, kay, I know! Shush! So, what happens if Mumbo is gone forever? We can’t put up with her forever!”
Cleo’s hand shot up. “I know! We fight her, until she lets Mumbo come back!” She pretended to stab Joe, who collapsed dramatically.
“That’s a good start, but I don’t think we should kill her. What if we just made her leave forever?” Biffa suggested.
“Ren makes me wanna leave forever when he sings..” Doc smirked.
“That’s a good idea Doc! Let’s be real bad, until she doesn’t wanna come back!” Scar led the cheering as the children celebrated their genius. “See y'all tomorrow!”
—
“Take your seats students, class is starting.” The substitute stood at the front of the room, demanding the attention of the inattentive children.
Doc and Joe sat in the corner, muttering over their potions, Cleo had engaged Biffa in a sword fight, and Scar was trying to talk to Cub, who sat statue-like in his seat. “Scar, siddown! She’s not gonna like that…”
“Cmon Cub, I know you love makin a mess! Why stop just cuz she’s here?”
Hesitant, Scar led Cub to the bookshelf in the corner, and they began to make a tower of books.
“Come on now, you brats, sit down! Now is not the time for senseless dithering! School is a time of refined education.”
The class had all but fallen into chaos. After a little prodding, everyone was lured into playing, disregarding their fear of the woman. The noise wasn’t unheard of- Mumbo taught them how to play loud, but not so loud as to bother the next class over. Unsurprisingly, this did not sit well with the substitute.
“Sit. Down! It’s like you’re not even school-children!” She snapped.
“I’m five!” Grian cried happily as he ran around the room with his stuffed chicken.
Running her fingers through her hair in frustration, the woman was banished to the desk, growling hopelessly at the organized chaos. Before too long, the day was over, all the children ecstatic on their successful overthrow.
—
“YOU’RE BACK!!!”
Mumbo couldn’t be seen from under the pile of children. Many of them shed tears, (cough Zed cough) and Mumbo’s suit and tie were soaked before he could disentangle himself.
“I missed you guys!” He chuckled, lifting Zedaph onto his knee. “Were you good while I was gone?”
“We were SO good, but the lady was sooo bad!!” Jevin stomped angrily. Everyone nodded and mumbled their agreements. “Where were you!?”
Mumbo blinked in surprise. “I had teacher meetings to attend- what did she do?”
“We were just bein real good, an then she got mad because we couldn’t draw the alphabet on paper! But we showed her!” Tango proclaimed proudly, stabbing Impulse, who died dramatically.
“What?!” Mumbo’s eyes widened. “No, no, please don’t tell me you-”
“Nah, that was my idea, but Doc said we should just be annoyin.” Cleo rolled her eyes.
He sighed in relief. “Good; I don’t think my record could survive another 'missing sub’.”
“Wazzat mean?” Stress peeked over Mumbo’s shoulder.
“Oh, nothing you need to worry about.” Exhaustion filled his eyes as he smiled at his children. “How about we start class by singing the alphabet?”
“Yeah!!” Cries rang out, followed by the most energetic chorus of the alphabet ever sang.
Silence. Every child stoppped in their tracks to watch their teacher sit up slowly, chocolate milk dripping from his hair and mustache. A smile crept across his face, and the tension released. Everyone laughed as Mumbo took his coat off throwing it in the corner, wet.
"I’m gonna go wash up, okay? Be good!”
The volume levels returned to normal after the excitement. This happened surprisingly often, but it was hilarious every time.
“Hey Scar, will you help me?” Grian timidly approached Scar, who was playing with his stuffed cat.
“Yeah! Whatcha makin?”
Grian stepped aside to reveal a pile of jumbled blocks. “Iskall knocked over my castle…” Tears prickled at his eyes.
Scar jumped up, throwing his arms around the other. “Don’ cry! I’ll help ya!”
The two sat down, fumbling to get the extra blocks out of the center of their castle. As they progressed, friends came and went. Stress’ ponies danced on the roof before Cleo ran over, threatening to tackle the ponies and the castle all in one. Wels also visited, requesting to live in the castle when it was big enough.
“Scar, ya gotta see this! Jev got stuck on the hook!” Cub pulled Scar’s bandanna. Scar sent a sorry look to Grian, running off to find Jevin.
Alone again, Grian set to putting up towers. He usually built alone, since he didn’t know anyone in the class- except Iskall. He and Iskall lived on the same street, but Iskall was friends with everyone, and didn’t have a lot of time to spend with Grian during class. Today, however, he didn’t want to build alone.
“Uh, Doc, would you like to finish the castle with me?” Grian fidgeted as Doc slowly looked up from his cups.
“Sorry Grian, I gotta finish my magic potion.”
Oh,“ he flushed in embarrassment. "Okay.”
“Aerial Sheep Service coming!” Tango called as Zedaph jumped off a chair and dashed across the room.
“Hey Zed, do-” Grian was bowled over, and tumbled with Zed right into his castle. Blocks scattered, a couple smacking the boys on the way down.
“Ow- sorry Grian, you ‘kay?” Zedaph grinned as he offered a hand up.
Grian hesitated, but accepted. He stared silently at the once-again disaster in front of him.
“Oh- was that your castle? Sorry, uh, I can fix it?” Zed hugged his sheep, upset.
The classroom blurred as tears filled Grian’s vision. He ran to his safe spot- under Mumbo’s desk. There he curled up and cried for some time.
“Grian?” A surprised Mumbo peered under the desk. Sympathy filled his eyes as he crawled to sit next to the sniffling child. “How are you feeling?”
He took a moment to respond. “I didn’t get to finish my castle, Zed knocked it down…”
“Aw, I’m sorry.” Mumbo quietly put his arm around Grian, who immediately cuddled into his side.
After a peaceful moment, Grian pulled his head up grinning. “You smell like chocolate milk.”
Mumbo chuckled. “I suppose that’s a good thing?”
“Yeah!” He paused. “I’m gonna go build my castle. Even bigger now!”
Mumbo crawled out from under the desk, following Grian to the loose blocks. The two began the foundation, even larger than the previous.
“I got Jev off the hook, can I help still?” Scar came over, starting on the bridge.
“I finished my potion, now it makes me build super good!” Doc drank his potion, and started to quickly assemble a tower.
“I’m sorry I broke your tower, can I help fix it now?” Zed gathered up blocks in his arms, handing them out to the other children working on the castle.
Soon, the whole class wanted to help, and by the end of the day, a full castle was constructed, with stuffed sheep, cats, and dogs living inside.
“Thank you Mumbo!” Grian hugged Mumbo’s legs as tight as he could.
“You’re welcome Grian! But, you should thank your classmates too. I know you don’t know them very well, but if you talk to them, you can make new friends!”
Grian fidgeted with his backpack strap. “I know, but…”
“Cmon G! We gotta go home!” Iskall shouted from the doorway.
Grian glanced from his friend back to Mumbo. “I’ll think about it. Wait up Iskall!” And he ran out the door.
I’ve been working on this for too long, and it’s finally finished! Ref sheets for every hermit in my au, Kinder Hermits! Mumbo is a teacher, and everyone else are kindergarteners.
