#kingdom.chronicals

[rkahnso]

If That Was You // October Eval

OUTFIT || SONG || LYRICS

The audio track was finished to her liking. It took several days but Sohee had grown incredibly particular to how she wanted the song to sound. She had pestered Yubin more than once over it. As it turned out, Sohee ended up going with a completely different version for the performance.

It wasn’t the original plan but it sounded so nice compared to the audio track. And with the acoustic version, she could have someone sing with her. She hoped that they would understand why she did this. Besides, it was an excuse to play her guitar. Up until then, she didn’t really have a reason to do exactly that.

Her stage outfit was simple. It wasn’t meant to attract eyes. The focus was supposed to be on the song itself, now how attractive she looked. With a guitar on her lap, there wasn’t going to be much seen regardless. She had kindly asked someone else to sing in with her. Although the original track was her singing by herself, the acoustic version was meant to be a duet. It didn’t come to her immediately (as amazing as she was with a guitar, she didn’t automatically know how to transfer everything over). It took a while, including many nights with Sohee in the living room playing at all hours of the night.

Weekends were definitely no better.

The end product was what she was most proud of. It sounded professional. She made something of her own hands. Of course, she needed help like any new song writer needed but she still did it. It was such an amazing accomplishment she almost couldn’t believe herself.

When the time came, she explained with confidence that she made a track that they were free to listen to. But she was going for a unique musical direction for the performance. She wasn’t met with confused expressions like how she originally expected. Instead she strummed softly, letting her partner vocally cue them in. She wasn’t nervous, she wasn’t feeling pressured. This was her song, something she created. She could only do her best to do it the justice.

No matter how much she struggled with finding the emotion to finish the song, she found it easier to tap into it as she sang. She initially thought it would be a sad song when it was in its first drafts. But singing this now, it was a clear dedication. She was almost embarrassed with how obvious this would be if some of her friends heard this.

(She would die if he heard this.)

But she was still proud of it. Just thinking of him and his smile made singing this song all the more easier, and that much truer to the lyrics itself. Maybe one day she’ll show him this song. One day when she was well and ready. For now she was good with just performing this for an evaluation, with people watching her to see any imperfections, though she would argue there are none.

She smiled to herself as she played the ending, a feeling of accomplishment resonating through her. Wow, she thought to herself. So that’s what that feels like.

[rkahnso]

This Song For You // October Eval

feat. Jiwon ( @rkjiwon ) & Yubin ( @yubinrk ) & Lia (NPC)

The idea of original lyrical content frightened Sohee. Ironically enough, during composition hour on the schedule, she does nothing but write poems. She was told by instructors that poems are what lead to songs and raps but she’s never personally had the short poems she wrote blossom into something as beautiful as a song. She’s brought this up before (timidly, she might add) and though they expressed deep and incredible disappointment that she had yet to make a complete song by now, they still encouraged her to attempt to make continuations of poems she originally felt were finished. But the poems were filters of her emotions. How could she finish a poem if she can’t revisit the emotion?

She looked at her book with utter dismay. There was no way she can make any of these poems into a song -- complete or otherwise. She flipped through the pages sadly. She reached the last entry of the book itself which was the most recent entry. It was the poem she wrote after the incident with Ricky. She thought she was okay but she went to training unable to put a smile on her face. When it was time to compose something, Sohee wrote the poem. It was only a few simple lines.

내 모든 걸 잃어도 꿈도 미래도 다 놓쳐도 괜찮을 수 있었어 그게 너라면 If that was for you

(You won’t believe) 말 뿐인 말이라며 No way 절대 그럴 리 없다고 믿지 않겠지만 나 그럴 수 있었어 그게 너라면 If that was for you For you, For you, For You

She looked at the lyrics this way and that. The two stanzas connected, sure, but in a song, it felt incomplete. Besides, how would she sing this? She huffed to herself, unsure what to do. How did people think of melodies on the spot? After a few frustrating moments, she got up and marched to someone who she hoped could be help to her.

“Help me make a song out of this,” she said, dropping the open book in front of Jiwon. She took the empty seat next to the younger, tucking her knees under her chin with a pout. “I don’t know how to make it into like a little melody or something.” Jiwon gave Sohee a judgemental look.

“And you think I can, Sohee?” Sohee frowned. Jiwon sighed, resigning to the fact that she was going to have to try. “Fine but if I’m helping you out to get that cute pout off of your face then I need you to help me with mine.” Sohee perked up immediately.

“Deal!”

For the first ten minutes, they got nowhere. Sohee was being incredibly picky with the melody or how the words flowed. While figuring this out, she ultimately decided that she wanted to put something between the two stanzas. They didn’t “sound right” when singing through them together. Jiwon only gave the other an exasperated look. “You should have created more lyrics then.” Sohee stuck her tongue out. She didn’t know she wouldn’t like the two paragraphs of lyrics together when she first went into this. In the end, she left the other with the idea that maybe she should just make more lyrics and try to piece them together that way.

The first suggestion she got was to think about what got her to write the lyrics in the first place. Which was damn near impossible if you asked her. She wasn’t going to be able to recount those feelings. They were long gone. The person only shrugged and said that was the best advice they had. Sohee huffed. She was probably better on her own.

“Think of it like a story. You wrote it feeling one way but now this is a character. Try to think like an author would,” Lia, one of the instructors offered. She didn’t look up from the screen where she was finding melodies for songs. Sohee glanced down at the lyrics on the page. It was originally just a poem to vent her feelings. Now a poem to be written as a narrative? She blinked, taking the lyrics with her out of the room.

Maybe it’s best that she slept on it.

When she got home she was humming the first paragraph, where she and Jiwon managed to put a melody to it. She continued that all day as she went about her home, doing what she needed to. After finally crawling into bed, the next line came. It was almost automatic for Sohee to continue it but the minute she said it, she forced herself to say it again. And again. She nearly tripped on her blankets to grab a piece of paper to write it down.

One sentence suddenly became a whole other paragraph. Sohee stared at her new verse of lyrics with wide eyes, singing the song that was beginning to blossom. The first verse along with her second one worked much better than the original. Now where was she going to put the third one? The night slowly dissolved into her creating the structures of the song. She didn’t even notice the night slipping from her. One moment it’s 12 am and she’s starting to edit the lyrics and the next, the sun is rising and the song is done (she thinks) with editor marks. She stares at her lyrics with contemplation before ultimately deciding that she’ll just ask someone at training.

That person ended up being Yubin, who immediately said that she could make a song to this. For that, Sohee was thankful. She was running on little to no energy and she was sure she’d ruin any type of melody she’d try to put to the song. Thankfully Yubin was nice enough to keep her awake the entire day. She was promptly kicked into the recording studio. There was no time to be tired, as she soon realised. This was the first and closest taste to idol life that she was getting. And it was kicking her ass, quite frankly.

Leaving the studio some three hours later (literally, three hours for just around three minutes of song) left her drained. She shuffled over to a dance studio in the midst of dinner time, curled up and took a nap.

This song was going to be the death of her.

[rkahnso]

scholarly advice ;

@bobbyrk

even in the months of being in trc together, sohee still wasn’t completely comfortable with being around bobby. it wasn’t as if he made her uncomfortable. it was quite the opposite. she was still a big fan of his. even if she could go as far and call him a colleague now, she would still get the jittery feeling when she spoke to him.

she wasn’t sure what bobby considered her -- just a fan? or maybe an acquaintance? -- but they spoke. that within itself was more than enough for sohee. though she rarely was the one to start the conversations with him. she was still so incredibly shy around him. but this was one of those times where she sought him out purposely. she knocked on the door to the studio she noted that he spent a lot of time in before poking her head in.

“ah, bobby sunbaenim?” she called as she slowly entered the studio. hopefully she didn’t interrupt him working on anything important. although he was probably working on the evaluation assignment like anyone else was. “do you think you can help me with this?” she held up a packet of papers that held the lyrics to her song. more or less completed (for now). who knows when she’ll redo the lyrics again. she just hoped this would be the final drafts for now.

[rkahnso]

late night confessions ;

the bonfire was being put out for the night and sohee felt content with how well the night went. she stayed for a moment while everybody lazily rose, going into their clusters of friends to go be dumb at the dorms or wander around. her attention left jiwon and taemin, whom she spent most of her bonfire with along with a few others and focused on youngjae. she reached for his hand, slipping her fingers in between his. she tugged with a small smile.

“oppa, let’s walk around a bit, yeah?”

it was mainly an excuse to not go back to the dorms. everyone in her dorm new each other (it seemed) and she had felt the awkward one out when they excitedly talked together about the camp. she kept herself quiet as she put things away and quickly slipped out. now she was trying to push the inevitable as far back as possible. and of course, it was nice to walk around and get to know the resort a little bit.

“i’m not really in a hurry to get back to my dorm,” she muttered, tucking a hair behind her ear. actually, she didn’t want to go back at all. there was fierce anxiety that bubbled up in a group full of girls and she had no one to speak to. “unless, you want to go to yours. that’s fine too.”

@rkyoungjae

[rkahnso]

a bag of chipps ;

so maybe on some level, sohee became too attached to chipps. but whose to say that was necessarily a bad thing? besides, from what sohee figures, bringing animals to training wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. as long as they were out of sight and out of mind, right?

she was risking a lot bringing the puppy to training with her but she couldn’t bear to leave him at home alone all the time. sure, he had the other animals to play with (two cats, actually) but he was a puppy in need of a lot of attention. there was a sense of guilt she felt whenever she left him at home. she’d usually use her time to eat to stop home and pay attention to all her pets and grab something quick to eat before running back to trc.

entering the building with her usual bag but with an unusual guest along with her. she smiled to whoever she passed, taking her usual path to the dining area for a quick breakfast. she spotted seungyoun on the way over. “hi!” she called, walking up next to him. her usual chipper attitude wasn’t out of place. she nudged his shoulder gently. “want to see something really cool?”

[rkahnso]

seniority ;

the idea of being a senior to anyone was strange to sohee. being older and looked up to was a foreign concept, she felt, at the same time it wasn’t. and maybe coming into a company where many people who were younger than her were considered her seniors didn’t help. even so, she wasn’t even sure what that even meant. or what difference it would make. despite her time there at trc, she felt like she didn’t have much insight to spare.

she remembered her first day at trc (she’d rather not think of the week as a whole) like it was yesterday. everyone intimidated her with the actuality of training. and despite the bump in the road with the scandal, training wasn’t that bad in her experience. but everyone else had so much to say, so many things to add. warnings, tips, advice. sohee felt as if she had none of that to spare.

so when she walked into the room and saw the green haired female, the newest female trainee to trc, sohee hesitated. maybe she should have introduced herself sooner. maybe she should have extended her hand beforehand. she felt bad but, then again, she felt like her presence wouldn’t be of much importance. who wants a sunbae who couldn’t lead? sohee swallowed and waved.

“uh hello, jiyoon!” she greeted. she knew the other’s name from the mgas, at least. and knew what she was capable of. of course tiger jk took interest in the other female. she set her bags down and began to unzip her guitar case. “how do you like it here so far?”

@rkxjiyoon

[rkahnso]

desperado ;

sohee sat in the far corner, her new cat plush seated in between her. her chin rested on the top of its head and her phone was held out in front of her. she took a picture for snapchat, sending it before reconnecting her phone on the charger and looking at the other person in the room.

“jiwonnie why don’t we ever do more difficult dances?” she called out to the younger, pouting in her corner over the simplicity of the dance at hand. not that sohee particularly minded it. sometimes she just felt the need to challenge herself. give her something that forces her to sit there and get stressed over -- something. instead she cringed at the choreography (deeming it slightly too sexy for her liking and just overall simplistic).

the elder sighed, letting her body slowly sink to the floor and taking her plush with her. she clung to it, wrapping her legs around the doll. she rolled over to her side so she was still able to look at jiwon while on the floor. “let’s do something funner! don’t you think it’s boring?”

@rkjiwon

[rkahnso]

wear the crown ;

it was gorgeous outside and sohee was sure it would be a waste if they spent lunch inside eating. so she went to youngjae with the suggestion of a lunch date and he promised. she even decided to go somewhere local so they’d be within walking distance of trc, should they need to go back sooner than not.

they took the streets, sohee a few paces ahead of him with a smile gracing her features. her phone was in her hand, playing music loud enough for the two of them to enjoy as they walked. she looked over her shoulder to him. “isn’t it gorgeous outside?” she skipped along happily, soaking up the sun she’d otherwise miss since she spent so much time inside that damned building.

“where do you want to eat at, oppa?” she asked, pouting at the area around them. it wasn’t as if there were many places to choose from. if you were to ask her, she’d simply settle on a place that had outdoor seating. the song on her phone switched and sohee gasped, outstretching the phone for him to listen. “have you ever heard this? i love this song. i love ariana grande so much!”

@rkyoungjae