I know this is almost three years old, but I stumbled across it this morning and i feel the need to comment (again)
I realize that my initial response might come off as a little harsh and defensive. Upon further examination of this post, I realized something else. That last sentence?
“I know (knew?) you before you ever went crazy, a looming time ago. You should have stayed sane.”
... i should have stayed sane. DOH why didn’t I consider that when I decided to have mental health issues! I should have thought about all the hardships that come with it and the people in your life that get driven away by your behavior. Or the way some people (myself included) some days find it hard to get up the motivation to get out of bed at all. Those are only two examples of how mental illness can fuck with your life. There are MANY more, I assure you.
That being said, I’ve been a real douche canoe in the past. No mental illness or drug use can excuse my actions. I was a self absorbed teenager who wanted nothing more that to feel good, spend time with friends and get high. I never meant to hurt anyone or to be a shitty friend... I think about the situation a lot. I am really sorry for the way I treated my friends and even best friends. I fucked up, and I am owning up to it.
Nothing I say can change the past, I understand. Just know this; I am working hard for a better future. I miss you all every day, but I understand why we don’t correspond at the moment. I hope that some day life will come full circle, allowing us to reunite and reminess about our childhoods-- over some weed and Sky vodka.
Sarah, Portia, Amp, Jaros, Jesse, Cedes, KT, Bethany, Steph, Beth --- i hope you see this and know it’s legit.
And for those of you who are wondering about me- I’m doing a lot better. School starts today and I’m going to be a full time student this semester.
Gotta start making things better. One step at a time. :)