For a long time Bitty just holds him. Jack smells of sweat and sorrow and defeated dreams, and in the heat of this moment, it's hard to imagine there being any future beyond this one lost game. As Jack sits on the loading dock and hangs his head, tears dropping from his eyes onto the pads of his underarmor, Bitty just holds him and wishes. He wishes something, anything, were different in this moment. He wishes his embrace meant more to Jack than the embrace of any other teammate. He wishes Jack's tears were tears of joy. He wishes he had any power to change the situation at all. Any little change, he thinks, would render this situation a little less hopeless. As things are, it feels like the worst of all possible worlds.
"Bittle," Jack says. His voice is rough with disuse and wet with tears. It's heartbreaking to hear. Bitty eases up on his embrace, keeping a hand firmly on Jack's shoulder, and tilts his head to look up at him.
"We. Uh. We ought to go. I need to change.”
“Are you ready to go?" Bitty asks, because the whole damn world can wait if Jack needs to sit here longer and come to grips with the loss.
"I." Jack starts, and Bitty wonders if anyone's ever asked him a question like that before. "I guess so. Yeah."
Together they wind through the halls of the arena, making their slow way back to the locker room. No one bothers them. It's like Jack has put up some kind of invisible barrier, and the world knows better than to try to penetrate it. Bitty doesn't know which is more surprising: that Jack has that power, or that he, Bitty, is allowed inside that bubble when no one else is. A piece of him can't help but thrill.
Back in the locker room, deserted now, Jack strips, showers, and returns running a towel over his head. He dries his beard. "Guess I'll be shaving, eh?" he says, trying to summon up a little of his usual dry humor. Bitty feels the attempt like a knife between his ribs. Jack is trying so hard. Bitty wants to tell him he doesn't have to.
"And I'm gonna have to get the chop," Bitty says, running a hand through his own overgrown hair.
"Yeah." Jack lobs him a half-smile. "You look like you did when you were a frog, Bittle."
Bitty frowns. "Suppose I probably do," he agrees reluctantly.
"It's all right, though," Jack says, pulling on a pair of shorts. "It's kind of cute."
Bitty's heart does a flying somersault. "It, what?" he says. He does not know how to process Jack calling him cute, in any circumstance.
Jack shrugs. "You look like a high school kid with your hair long," he clarifies.
Ah. Cute like a high school kid. That's... not a compliment. Bitty scowls. "I'll have Lardo chop it off soon," he says with a sigh.
Jack stretches his way into a T-shirt. Bitty tries not to watch the tautness of his arm muscles, the wide plane of his chest beneath the fabric. It's a futile fight. "Let's go home, eh?"
"Mm-hm." Bitty scrambles to his feet. "Listen, Jack... you played really well tonight."
Jack regards him a minute. Bitty wonders if it's too soon, if he should have kept his mouth shut. Maybe this will darken Jack's mood again. Maybe he'll stalk off alone.
But Jack just shakes his head, and a small, dark smile plays at the corners of his mouth. "Thanks," he says. "We all tried our hardest. It just... wasn't meant to happen for us."
"We're all so proud of you, Jack," Bitty says. His arms feel leaden and awkward at his sides. "We all really wanted to do well for you."
Jack takes a long breath. "Yeah. I know." He meets Bitty's gaze. "I'm proud of you, too."
And there goes Bitty's heart again, skipping and skittering along his ribs. Because Lord, if it doesn't feel like Jack is saying it directly to him, even though Bitty is speaking for the whole team. It feels like Jack's singling him out.
He inhales, trying to find something to say, but the words never come out. Instead, the breath is knocked away from him, squeezed out by the sudden press of Jack's arms. Jack is holding him again -- no, Jack's holding him for the first time -- he never returned Bitty's embrace before. Now, Bitty finds his head resting on Jack's chest, fingers cinching at Jack's waist to hold himself steady and keep himself from fainting. The embrace is unbearably warm. Bitty's heart thunders, and his mind melts.
"Thank you, Bittle," he hears in a whisper above him. And with that, his own tears come -- not the heartbroken tears he saw Jack shed before, but tears of sorrow nonetheless, for their loss and the missed opportunity to get Jack that trophy he'd been striving for. Some piece of him had believed wholeheartedly in the story that could have been told tonight -- the triumph of Jack's return, the culmination of his work here at Samwell delivered in the eleventh hour. It didn't happen, and they leave this rink not as legends but as mortals, trying -- like everyone else -- to go on.
Even so, isn't there a little bit of triumph in this embrace? Aren't Jack's arms around him right now the sign that something has been built here, something has been conquered? It's not the shining trophy they'd dreamed of, but it's a victory in itself. Jack Zimmermann is thanking him, and holding him, and letting Bitty see his tears. It's a reality Bitty couldn't have dreamed of, a year and a half ago, when Jack was capable only of scowls and grim determination. Maybe they've won something tonight after all.
He pulls back. "Gosh, Jack, now you're making me cry!" He sniffles and wipes his eyes.
"Sorry." But Jack's smile is fond. He lets go. "So... home?"
"Home," Bitty agrees. They gather up their things and exit the locker room. Side by side, teammates and friends, they leave Faber behind.
your latest zimbit ficlet is so cute and sweet im just !!! i loved it it was so good!!! especially the line where jack was like 'i think i missed you before i even knew you' i cries that was beautiful ❤️❤️ i love your fics i think you're a fantastic writer please keep blessing us with this stuff haha
Thank you!!!!!!!! Gosh, I’m blushing now lol. I’m so happy you loved the ficlet! <333
I’ll be honest, I’ve been nervous about posting OMGCP fic, just because it’s a new fandom for me and I worry that I don’t have the feel for the characters yet the way I (hope I) do with, say, sterek. But messages like this have have made me really excited to keep writing more, so thank you! I will definitely keep posting new fic as often as I can :)
i really need to get up bUT I saw your request for zimbits angst and i literally could not resist god im such trash for it too. ok so i think a lot about zimbits children and just the future Bittles (cuz lbr jack totally changes his name and it stays Zimmermann on the ice out of convience but on everything else its Bittle) and I ALSO think a lot about their first adoption and exactly how *hard* it's going to be for them. Because adopting any child is a struggle, but for a gay couple? (pt 1)
cont.
for a gay couple, agencies and individuals can out right refuse based on sexuality alone, and no one can do anything about it. And just think. The Bittles fall in love with this beautiful sweetheart in foster care. She’s barely two years old and the neighbors called the cops bc her mother was a drug addict and refuses help (Jack’s heart goes out to her a bit). They work with the foster family and they seem hesitant but Jack and Bitty make bank and seem nice enough so they allow the adoption to proceed. BUT adoption takes a long ass time and it seems like *everyone* is either stalling or giving them shit because ‘oh hey it’s a gay couple’ and a lot of ppl are still homophobic in that way. Bitty overhears one of the workers saying something along the lines of 'how can we expose children to people like that? those fags are just going to turn her gay, too’ as he’s walking out to his car, and when he gets there he just sits and cries for a good 10 minutes. and when he gets home *of course* jack notices but bitty still feels sick to his stomach, can’t tell Jack what they said. (bitty is prob v v sensitive to that word and homophobia in general cuz of his time in hs and georgia.) jack just says ok and instead lays with bitty on the couch and rubs his back until he stops shaking. ok and so back to the baby, it turns out the mother did her necessary classes to get her child back (its ridiculous but it happens all the time) before the official adoption is complete, and both Jack and Bitty have to watch as their beautiful little baby is given back to a sick woman who can’t and wont provide for her. Bitty is the most affected by this, though Jack is pretty shaken up and is just so worried for that child. And it’s not fair, they’re both so angry– and yeah, it probably causes a rift in their relationship, too. But then in the middle of a shouting match over dishes, Jack just kinda freezes and goes 'Bits, what are are we doing' (oh goodness this is getting long haha) but ok anyway Bitty lifts his head and meets Jack’s eyes, and in that moment Jack can see all the pain and fear and disappointment Bitty feels and rushes across the room to wrap his husband in a tight hug, pulling him closer when Jack starts to feel him cry. They end up sitting on the kitchen floor, slow tears still coming, holding each other through it all. BUT!! happy times are around the corner because the very next week Bitty gets a call from his mom, and it’s nothing in particular other than to just say hi. but when she’s telling bitty about the gossip back home, she mentions how Lisa’s teenage daughter got pregnant. says she doesn’t want to get an arbortion cuz she’s V pro life but anyway mama bittle says she’ll be going up for adoption and goodness what a shame that is. and bitty just kinda freezes and asks if there was anyway his mom could get him in contact with Lisa’s daughter. His mom is like uh…. ok sure but she gets Bitty her number. Jack and him talk it over that night and he’s 1000% on board because they still really want to start a family. Lisa, thank goodness, is *not* a homophobic asshole like Bitty feared she might be, and by the end of the month they’ve arranged for Bitty and Jack to fly down when the baby is born in order to take her home with them. It’s a godsend for both sides and Bitty could not be happier. Long story short the baby is an absolute beauty and both Jack and Bitty fall in love instantly. They name her Rebecca and dress her in falconers jerseys and Bitty ties her curly hair up in cute little bows and she is the most spoiled little girl within a 50 mile radius. Their next attempt at adoption goes much more smoothly, and they bring home a 1 yr old boy. (and then a 6 yr old girl, and another newborn from one of Jack’s cousins) and they live happily ever after as the cutest family to ever live amen
im crying thank u so much this cured my acne and my crops are growing again even though i cried nine times
kinkybucky replied to your post:Ugh do all non-American fic writers have that...
i dont even know what knackered MEANS and the only time i’ve heard daft is in movies haha
Knackered means tired! Or exhausted more I guess, like I’ve been working all day and I’m completely knackered, I’m gonna get an early night kind of tired
i have died post civil war, im so sad about the characters and that we're done with cap's trilogy now. do you have any tooth-rotting fluffy fics? any post-civil was ones? or fluffy au's? (i know you have tags for these but ive read most of them haha)
Post Civil War tag and heres some fluff I’ve read over the last few days
A Historical Relic and a History Professor Walk into a Bar- (series) by thecommodore_squid
Steve narrowed his eyes. “I’m beginning to suspect I’ve been set up.”
“I would never,” Natasha said, feigning shock.
Steve sighed.
“God fucking dammit,” he heard someone say and looked up.
AKAAn AU in which Steve is still Captain America and Bucky is the unfortunate history professor selected to help him understand those references.
The Bucky Barnes Guide to Household Management by CryptoHomoRocker
“Steve doesn’t even notice at first, is the thing.”
Or: Steve is unobservant, Bucky learns to be good at things that aren’t killing people, and knitting happens.
Kiss the Cook by mambo
Former Top Chef contestant Steve Rogers opens a restaurant with his best friend, Sam Wilson.
And everything is great, except for Steve’s giant crush on their new bartender.
