17 + plastic love !!
17. things you said that i wish you hadn’t / @kitsamu / (not accepting!)
Osamu was kind, caring, nice… Not to mention, romantic and charming. If only he didn’t have those last two qualities, he wouldn’t have been so different from how Keiji saw his colleagues. But he took his job seriously and wholeheartedly, so much so that Keiji almost fell for the trap that he could see Osamu as a potential love interest outside of their agreement. He wasn’t stupid, he knew what he was getting into. This shouldn’t mean anything. In fact, this was all a ruse for his delusional need for some make-believe romance.
But as soon as he felt a pang of an unpleasant feeling stirring inside his chest when he saw Osamu with someone else, he immediately knew something was wrong with this equation. He shouldn’t care that Osamu was with someone else. That was his line of work; whether it would be an escort, companion or a rental boyfriend. It wasn’t like he went as far as selling his dignity. But with his looks and personality, it was no wonder why he was sought after by customers. Keiji could even recognize some of his loyal partners at this point.
The feelings swirling inside him were becoming something ugly. He didn’t like this change one bit. He already had his fill; Osamu was beyond expectations with his services. So, Keiji’s next appointment was in order to end things between them in a professional manner. He could feel bad and guilty about this for a few days at most. Maybe feel empty in the middle of the recovery process, but it wasn’t like there was anything official between them. Nothing about this was real. Not the hugs, holding of hands, not even the kisses that made Keiji feel like he was on cloud nine.
He should have told Osamu as soon as possible. But the other male looked… different. Or rather, he sensed something distinct in his aura? It wasn’t the manufactured and trained persona he often displayed. Keiji didn’t know what was going on, or why the atmosphere had this sudden shift into territory still unknown for him. Nevertheless, every fiber in Keiji’s being told him to bolt, to leave, to escape. Before it was too late.
Why? Why was Osamu scratching the back of his head in an endearing manner? Was that red on his cheeks? What was this top-tier acting? Were there cameras around shooting this very scene for some kind of sick prank video? Keiji had never felt more nervous and skittish in his life. And he felt the exact same way before his big breakup with his ex that felt like a lifetime ago.
“Keiji-kun--”
Keiji’s eyes widened in fear. No.
“I…”
He clenched his fists and bit his bottom lip. Stop. Please. I won’t be able to take this. You’re going to get my hopes up.
“I like you.”
Osamu’s gaze was so affectionate and sincere. Keiji forgot he held his breath the entire time until he felt the other man’s hand atop his. He was frozen in place, but he wanted nothing more than to leave. This was dangerous. He would be the cause of the destruction of Osamu’s livelihood. Love wasn’t going to save him from real life consequences. This was just a game they were supposed to play. Fake, pretentious. A plastic love.
Keiji’s gaze fell into their hands as he pulled away before he could let himself get swept away. “No.”
Osamu’s expression was of surprise, confusion and hurt. As expected. Keiji didn’t like to be painted as the bad guy. But this was for their own good. “...No?”
“Please, don’t. For your sake.”
“But, I--”
“Forget anything happened today, alright? You didn’t say anything, and I didn’t hear anything. Let’s leave it at that. I called you here because… I was supposed to finish this contract between us. It’s over. So please… don’t make it harder for both of us…” Although he said all of this, not once did he meet Osamu’s gaze. He then rose from his seat, gulping. He had to leave now and fast. “I had the time of my life under your care. When we see each other next time, we’ll just be acquaintances.” He kept on bowing, trying to contain the emotions inside him that felt like they were about to burst out of him anytime.
“So until then… thank you for everything, Osamu-san.”