Unfortunate. {Yamada Jiro x Reader}
Description:
A fic in which Jiro is a menace and reader has the unfortunate luck to sit next to him in class and witness the atrocities he brings upon his sandwich.
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Tags: fluff, jiro being a dork, reader loves messing with the poor boy, reader is assumed to be his/around his age!, not beta'd, not edited, gender neutral reader, hypnosis mic/hypmic x reader, hypnosis mic/hypmic, jiro yamada
Word Count: 1,205
A/N: Written on: June 25, 2021
I JUST, ADORE MAKING JIRO A MENACE; one of my sisters adores him (the other, saburo, so I guess its lucky I like ichi,) so I decided to write this chaotic pairing mostly for her but, to share as well
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“Jiro!”
“(Y/n), shh!”
“How did you--”
“Shh!” Jiro frantically waved his hands in front of their face, trying to keep them quiet. “Please!”
“Why did you--”
“You two, stop talking.”
“Yes teacher.” “Sorry...”
(Y/n) faced forward, but continued to side-eye the ceiling above the boy who sat next to her. Stuck to the ceiling was a slice of cheese that he didn’t like on the sandwich he kept sneaking bites of.
They had been watching him—taking glances, really—throughout class since he did an unusual amount of fidgeting today. They watched as he slowly but surely managed to unwrap a sandwich he must have bought from the convenience store on the way to school, and hastily take bites from behind his standing notebook or whenever the teacher turned their back. At first, (Y/n) thought they were seeing things until they did a double-take and realized that no, Yamada Jiro was in fact trying his hardest to eat a sandwich without being caught. They had to stifle a few laughs as he had to frantically chew a few bites to answer a question or chew very, very slowly as he leaned back in his chair to seem less suspicious. Once he finished the sandwich, (Y/n) thought he was home-free and silently cheered for him, getting oddly engrossed in the whole adventure without sharing a word with him—until he took out another one.
(Y/n) looked at him incredulously. After fighting with the first one for a few hours, he was going to take out another one? They gripped the edge of their desk—just wait until lunch time! The second time, however, his first bite caused him to pale like a ghost; that really caught (Y/n)’s attention. Jiro looked like he was struggling to swallow a brick before he finally stuck his tongue out in disgust and opened his sandwich, taking out the culprit. (Y/n) only glanced at the moment, seeing that he must not have liked the cheese—either taste of texture wise, they didn’t know and didn’t care enough to ask—and returned their eyes to their book; it was the sudden, subtle slapping sound that caused them to freeze in place with a monotone look on their face.
Slowly, almost robotically, they turned their head towards Jiro, and watched him happily take another bite of his sandwich. The wrapping had no discarded cheese on it. They continued staring at him hard, burning a hole in the side of his head until he slowly gave them a side-eye. He jumped a bit, turning to them with one cheek full like a hamster, quickly chewing now that he had gotten caught.
“What was that?” They whispered.
“What was what?” Jiro whispered back, nervously hiding his sandwich.
“That sound.” They subtly gestured to his sandwich. “And where did your cheese go.”
“My cheese--” His face lit up in embarrassment, “Have you watched me the entire time?”
“No!” They quietly hissed. “Yes. Only glances here and there! Where did your cheese go!”
“I got rid of it!”
“It’s not in your wrapper!”
“What kind of interrogation is this, I thought we were in math class!”
“Where is the--”
A small piece of cheese fell onto his desk. Very slowly, (Y/n) turned their head towards the ceiling as Jiro pleaded for them to just face forward and pretend they didn’t see anything. When their eyes landed on the seemingly nasty piece of cheese attached to the ceiling, their face twisted in both grim and disgust. That’s how they ended up here, now lunchtime, as (Y/n) stood next to Jiro's desk with one hand on top of the desk and the other on their hip.
“Now will you tell me how you got that to stick to the ceiling?”
“I just gave it a good throw,” he mumbled through the rest of his sandwich. “A little launch. That’s all.”
“W--” They looked up at the cheese then back down to him. “Why are you saying that so casually? And what made you think you should throw it up there in the first place!”
“It was gross, I didn’t like it.”
“That’s when you put it in your wrapper to throw away later!” They gestured heavily to the ceiling. “Not just... toss it to the ceiling!”
Jiro looked at them for a while, like he was trying to process their words, before just shrugging and taking the last bite of his sandwich. (Y/n) sighed and folded their body as emphasis on how exhausted they were trying to understand his logic. They’ve sat next to him for a fairly long time in their school career, they were well aware he wasn’t dumb, but this time...
“Moving on,” he swallowed his food and leaned on his hand, stretching his body across his desk and looking up at them through his lashes with a smirk on his lips. “Are ya always starin’ at me?”
(Y/n) scoffed and flicked him on the forehead.
“Why in the world would I spend my time staring at you?”
“’Cause I’m cute and you’ve had a crush on me for years and you just can’t take it anymore so you stare at me longingly, even while I eat, thinking, ‘oh, Jiro, if only I were that sandwich, how you would hold me and--’”
“I’m going to stop you right there. What kind of manga are you reading now?”
(Y/n) smacked him on the arm—soft enough to know they were playing around, but hard enough to ease the fact they were embarrassed they had been read like a book—even if it was accidental on his part. He just laughed in response and continued smirking at them, doing his best to flirt with them since he never gets the chance; he’s always too nervous to ask them to hang out or have actual conversations with them—he was going to seize the moment.
“You can borrow it if you want. Or... you can come by my place and we could watch the anime together sometime?”
“Is that so?”
“Just admit you’re in love with me, god, (Y/n).”
It was (Y/n)’s turn to laugh, taking the opportunity to beat him at his own game and lean in close to him, a devilish smile playing in their favour.
“If I admit it, then it’d be no fun.”
Jiro’s eyes widened, watching as (Y/n) straightened up and turned to leave, heading towards the cafeteria to grab their own lunch. He stuttered a bit, no real words coming out; when they finally did, his voice cracked.
“Wait, really?” He sat up in his chair, “So... does that mean you’ll actually go on a date with me if I ask?”
“Who knows?” (Y/n) threw over their shoulder, rounding the corner and leaving the room.
What (Y/n) unfortunately missed was how Jiro leaned onto his desk again, sighing longingly only to shout once the slimy cheese had fallen from the ceiling onto his face. They heard him shout from the hall, however, and couldn’t stop themselves from laughing—they had noticed it start to fall a while back and had to leave before it fell on them instead.
Maybe they would go on that date with him. They’ll bring sandwiches with extra cheese.