#YesMan - @aMrazing
Sudah lama gak buka twitter. Kemaren buka, lalu liat Kokoh Alex lg bahas tentang #YesMan. Menarik. Aku pun sampai saat ini kadang-kadang masih jd #yesman. Trus aku punya teman yang begini sampe gemetzzzz deh. Pengen ngeshare aja disini yaa. biar pada baca. Selengkapnya mah di twitternya koh alex aja @ aMrazing. Baca komentar-komentar dari followersnya juga.
Baiklah ini dia pembahasan dari kokoh Alex. Cekidot.
Aku punya seorang teman. Namanya Miko. Miko ini dari luar terlihat menyenangkan, nggak punya masalah, ceria selalu. However... Di balik sifat ceria dan menyenangkannya, Miko sebenarnya nggak pede. Dia selalu mikir, what if ppl don't like me? What if I am not good enough? What if they found someone better and left me? What if they left me when I need them?
Karena bergelut dengan pikiran semacam ini, Miko jadi punya satu misi: semua orang yang kenal dia, harus senang. Nggak peduli yang dia lakukan tak membuat dirinya senang, yang penting orang lain bahagia dan tetap mau berteman dengannya. Maka, Miko selalu bilang 'iya'. Disuruh beli nasi goreng padahal lagi deadline, iya. Ada yang pinjam uang, iya. He is a yes man.
My feelings don't matter. What matters is: my friends and my colleagues will not leave me. That's what he thinks. Miko jadi orang yang disenangi banyak orang. Lah, disuruh ngapain aja mau. Ya seneng dong orang-orang temenan sama dia. Karena banyak yang senang, Miko merasa senang.
Namun... Miko sebenarnya tertekan. He wanted to say no but he just can't. Dia takut mengecewakan. Dia merasa nggak enak kalau harus menolak. Above all, he's afraid of confrontation if he said, 'no' Konflik batin ini membuat Miko merasa tak bahagia karena dia harus melakukan hal yang tak dia senangi. Apakah situasi ini familiar?
Miko wanted to be a perfect human. Miko wanted everyone around him to be happy. Miko lupa dua hal penting:
Perfection is bullshit and not real.
There's no way you can make everybody happy.
You just can't. By saying 'yes' to every single thing, Miko is forgettin the most essential thing in life: your happiness comes first. It should be.
What's the point of doing shit you don't like and makes you miserable just because other *might be* happy? And what's the point on saying 'yes' when you wanted to say 'no'? Miko has lost his self-respect. He's turning into someone he's not. And so Miko is weeping in his room. He never thought that with every yes he was forced to say, the lonelier he gets. That night, his mind wanders. Recalling what could have been and what would have been and should be done.
The next day, even though he is shuddering, Miko says no when a friend asks for money. He's never been happier. You see, when you say 'no' and you mean it, you hold the power. You, are in charge. Be firm. Look into his/her eyes. Be reasonable. When you realize you can't rely your happiness on others, when you know you're the one who makes you happy, saying 'no' is easy.
Nggak suka sesuatu? Bilang tidak. Nggak suka perlakuan orang? Ngomong langsung ke orangnya. Merasa nggak nyaman? Tell it! Don't be a yes man. Your friends, your TRUE friends, will respect you more if you are firm and tell them what bothers you. What if you say no and they leave you? No problem. It means mereka temenan cuma ada maunya. Sampah begini memang harus ditumpas. Justru dengan berani bilang 'nggak' kalau beneran nggak suka, Miko tau mana teman yang beneran teman. Perbedaan itu perlu dan penting dan nggak seharusnya membuat teman menjadi musuh. Sidik jari aja beda masak iya pendapat harus sama?
And so Miko is getting better. He knows how to say no. Some times he hesitates, but then he remembers: i'm the one who makes me happy.
Begitulah. Bacanya serasa tertampar. X) Bilang nggak itu gak susah. Gausah ga enakan jadi orang karena lama-lama yang rugi itu kita sendiri. Kalo orang itu kontribusinya di idup kita gak banyak ya ngapa repot-repot iya iya mulu sama kemauan dia. Betul? Daaaan yang paling penting adalah Your happiness comes first, i'm the one who makes me happy. Yap! setuju banget! Gausah mengedepankan kebahagiaan orang lain, kalo sebenernya kita sendiri gak bahagia mah gausah. Yeaaaa.