Thinking on my childhood stuff and yeah it’s all black really. I know onetime I realized oh last week is all black and empty and we also remember this black and white party that I think was real and being led somewhere and then boom nothing. It’s like memory ends and starts back up with younger me maybe 3 years old being in a car but what I vaguely remember is I wasn’t asleep of all things. Something’s telling me it was real and not a dream as how the fuck can a 3 year old remember that and have it in mind years later but only being brought to a place before it stops.
Yes not remembering childhood shit is normal but also a lot of my memories even from like grade school are iffy(the iffy years being preschool to 2nd? Grade maybe third).
Also the stuff I do remember feels dream like. As if I was only seeeing from a outsider observing.
But in all honestly I have days where I’m feeling like my body is on autopilot and we can do nothing but let it happen. Stuff is all foggy those days