Below cut is massive vent/rant about my mental state past few weeks hell past two-three months honestly
My anxiety is spiking for no reason and I hate it. I feel like I canāt even bring it up sometimes
Whatās bad is my anxiety makes me think Iām doing something wrong at trying to keep people happy. Hell Iāve been away for two weeks unable to play games with friends and Iām just *jealous* of those who can still play games when theyāre away.
Itās worse cause canāt even read text tones. A friend is screen sharing in vc her hanging out with mutual friends and im sat here silently like āI want to join the server and hang out. But I canāt. I hate this.ā I also know this jealousy is stupid as hell as I can just hop back on in a few days when home.
Before everything went to crap people would hangout constantly.
Now Iām now paranoid something is happening again.
Whatās more stupid is my anxiety is making me think I am annoying and being to much and so much more.
I just want people to be happy and I know itās never like that. I wish we go back to when everything was easier.
Im entering point I donāt even want to be in front often at the moment. But I dont want someone to pick up from where I am and shit.
Okay rant/vent over













