#kotone synclair

[kisskissrommie]

Everything that's been happening lately... All of it... It's all just a bad dream. When you wake in the morning, you'll still be safe in her arms. Safe with the one you love.

“I hope so. I hope this nightmare will end and everything will be right and safe again.”

[kisskissrommie]

I LIKE HOW MANY OF YOU THINK THIS PLOT WILL END WELL

Y’all have no faith in @kotone-shimayasu.

[kisskissrommie]

"Just grin and bear it- because everything will go back to normal as soon as it's over."

“It’s so hard to get through, to see the light at the end of all of this. It means a lot to see how many people believe in things.”

[kisskissrommie]

"She's yours, and only yours. Forever more."

“That’s what she’s told me anyway. I’m trying very hard to believe it.”

[kisskissrommie]

A lie she wants to hear: She'll come back.

“I was worried she wouldn’t. Thank you for reassuring me.”

[kisskissrommie]

A Spiral into Despair

She looked like hell. It wasn’t just that she both looked like she hadn’t slept in days and like she had only slept for days at once, though she did. It wasn’t that she looked like sunlight hadn’t touched her skin in days, though it hadn’t. Rommie looked unwashed. 

There were, of course, plenty of people in Eorzea who did not bathe daily, and plenty still who did not bathe at all. Rommie wasn’t one of them. Her meticulous morning routine involved a whole ritual around cleaning, and being consequently immaculate. 

Perfect hair was frizzed and lifeless, perfect teeth lacked opalescent shine, perfect skin had the beginning of blemish and slight marks. Perfectly pressed clothes were rumpled and wrinkled from days of not changing.

It would be a grave overstatement to say that Andromeda Dulaque was in squalor. She wasn’t the kind of person to stink, or to cake on dirt, or to do anything of the sort. She was, despite all the imperfections, wholly normal in appearance. But the step from radiant to normal was one that had deep meaning to her. As far as she thought, she was disgusting, truly and completely. Noses ought turn up in her presence, people ought think her as trash. Refuse. The cast-off bits of gunk from a magitek engine or the grease-stained filth on the underside of all the world. 

Andromeda Dulaque saw herself as a fetid, soiled containment unfit for the world. Anyone else would’ve seen a person having a bad day.  In truth, both viewpoints had some merit to them.

Rommie hadn’t left her apartment since Kotone broke up with her except to leave her linkpearls at the Elysium. She hadn’t said if she was resigning or just taking a leave of absence, she just left her linkpearls on the desk and called that done. She was unreachable, she had gone to ground. And she was slowly dying. 

Well, everyone was slowly dying. That was what living was. She was, more accurately, slowly losing herself. She was alone. She had been rejected and left for another. For one of the only people she genuinely hated. Kotone Synclair. That name had left her unable to even journal. But it was the name Kotone would be having now. It was the identity Kotone held to. 

That was what killed her. 

She couldn’t have handled being left at all, fair enough, but being left for Nikolas was the worst it could’ve been. Even knowing why this was what Kotone needed, it didn’t cushion the pain. And in her agony, Rommie had lashed out, cruel and hurt and alone, and she’d stung the departing Kotone. 

Way to fucking go.

Kotone might’ve been happier, she might’ve been better, this might’ve been everything Kotone needed to do to secure herself, but Rommie was selfish, childish, and churlish. She was, truly, the filth she saw in the mirror. So she drank, and cried, and tried to do things that weren’t drinking or crying. 

And then she remembered the name Kotone Synclair. And the drinking and crying alone weren’t enough anymore. And that’s when she wanted to hurt. That’s when she wanted to go to the Quicksand and feel less than human. That was when she wanted other people to hurt her because she lacked the will to harm herself. 

And then she’d sleep. And she’d dream of Kotone walking down the aisle with him. Of Kotone having sex with him. Of Kotone living happily ever after with him. Marriage. Kids. A home. All the things Rommie wanted, she dreamed of Nik taking from her. 

Kotone Synclair. 

It was all Rommie could do to have the strength to wake up, so the cycle could repeat again, day after long and horrible day. 

(( @kotone-shimayasu @nikmaybeahcerealkiller ))

[kisskissrommie]

Tenth Sun of the Sixth Astral Moon

Once upon a time I said I wanted to see justice done though the heavens fall. And then the heavens fell. 

I was ready to give up a lot to put an end to Nikolas Synclair and the nightmare that has hung over me and my love since that Gardener girl first disappeared. I was sure I was ready to give up whatever it took. I wasn’t expecting to give up Kotone. But here we are. 

And now I’m alone. And in a matter of days the world will know Kotone Synclair.

The ink from the pen just trailed off the paper. Whatever else was going to be written when Rommie sat down to her diary couldn’t be. 

Kotone Synclair.

Those words just broke their writer. 

(( @kotone-shimayasu @nikmaybeahcerealkiller ))