KimChay Thoughts Part III: The Tables Have Turned.
Okay, coming at you with more unfiltered KimChay thoughts; my apologies if this is disorganized.
I’ll be repeating some stuff from previous posts, but I hope not to get too long winded.
First, the scene in which Kim is writing music establishes another contrast between him and Vegas (which I initially discussed in this post.) Vegas is not letting a few guns in his face keep him from trying to further manipulate Porsche. He’s not even letting a jail cell keep them apart. He will absolutely break Porsche out of prison, hit on Pete, and everything else under the sun to progress his mission of destroying the main family.
In contrast, Kim cannot stay focused. In episode 8, Kim swears he’s done with investigating the brothers. He stops answering Porchay’s calls because that’s his half-hearted attempt to break things off, to let Porchay down (but let him down gently because Kim is emotionally invested.) Porchay sings to him, and Kim (to our knowledge) doesn’t give Porchay any feedback on his song in an attempt to keep that distance from someone who shouldn’t matter to him. Kim is trying to salvage his initial purpose: focus on protecting his family. He can’t get distracted any longer; he must go back to the two roots, the two sure things in his life: music (his passion) and the mafia family (his obligation.)
Unfortunately, episode 9 shows us that this return to roots is not possible for Kim. In a weird way, I’m both a little happy and mad that some of my predictions came true: the first being he cannot protect his family. Kinn is, allegedly, taking Tawan’s word over Porsche’s (and we know that Kim could not find any grounds to distrust Porsche). Kinn is, allegedly (if we assume his actions are not part of his grand master plan to manipulate Tawan and find the mole) in a vulnerable spot that Kim is unaware of. Kim has failed. His family is coming apart, and his brother is in danger.
The second is that music is no longer the same for Kim. We see this as he reflects back on Barcode’s song in order to create music again. At this point, he needs Porchay as a person, as a muse, as even a lover. Music is no longer the same without Porchay, which is going to lead to some devastating consequences for Kim and Porchay since all of this was rooted in mafia business.
Which is why this post is titled as The Tables have Turned. Look at Kim, who possibly planned to further manipulate Porchay by making him write a love song (and perhaps to also deepen Porchay’s feelings for him), who is now using Porchay as his inspiration. Is he writing a love song? No guarantee but, oh, how the tables have turned. In my opinion, the ruse is up as soon as he needs to think about Porchay to make music. Kim has temporarily abandoned his mission to just exist alongside Porchay, which is a dangerous thing to do since Porchay is now involved with the mafia, which is entirely Kim’s fault.
Now, with the scene in which Porchay is making the pick, we see that Porchay is patient. He tries to stay that way. Porchay waits for an answer, but being an absolute gremlin and with true big dick energy, he then demands an answer as he gifts Kim with the handmade pick.
Kim reciprocates. He kisses Porchay and hugs him. In a way this is both failure and success.
The failure: Here’s a picture of a man who realizes his ploy is over. That’s he’s in too deep; now, he's the one under someone else’s thumb. That he’s done exactly what his father has warned them not to do: to get emotionally involved with chess pieces. Here’s a picture of a man who realizes his next actions are going to devastate this boy, tear himself and his muse apart. Here’s a picture of a man who can no longer protect his family because of his own emotions.
The success: Here’s a picture of a man who realizes his ploy is over. That he’s in too deep; now, he’s so enamored by this person that his defenses are down, and he’s okay with that vulnerability. Here’s a picture of a man who has temporarily forgotten he’s a mafia kid. That he can have a normal life with a normal relationship. That he can sit around and make music and think of his muse. Here’s a picture of a man who is tense, hesitant, but relieved.
Why is Kim relieved? Well, because he could never make the first move. Kim’s simply not in the position to do that. So Porchay does it for him, and he’s so goddamn happy and relieved and excited because more often than not, Kim is struck speechless by Porchay (i.e.: finding the shrine, getting serenaded, receiving the pick). So much so that instead of speaking, he moves into kiss Porchay’s cheek. And even though we can see some hesitation, some worry as he hugs Porchay, he’s still somewhat happy because he succeeded: he’s in love, and it’s pure, with no strings, no demands, no interference (as of now.)
So. Future predictions? This happiness of Kim’s will not last; it’s not meant to last for a character like Kim. A character like Kim, in a family like his, cannot possibly stay in the shadows and only emerge when he wants to. He can’t pick and choose what parts of Mafia Life he participates in (his little murder investigation with Porchay has proven this tenfold.) Porchay, in true Porchay methodology and chaos, will demand answers from Kim, and Kim will not be able to fend off those questions. Kim is about to learn that he cannot protect his family and the consequences that entails on his family's business, and worst of all, he probably cannot protect Porchay, his muse, either, and he will have to face the consequences that has on his heart. And it’s his fault.