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ㅡ 제이크 [nerve]

genre: angst??

characters: sim jaeyoon x gender-neutral

summary: sim jaeyoon was a normal boy, he wasn’t a player, he wasn’t the type to hurt anyone actually. he was just your normal school boy, not popular but..not..not popular either. but why. why did he do that to you? where the hell did he get the nerve?

wc: 630 words

other: inspired by ‘you broke me first’ by tate mcrae

“could you tell me where’d you get the nerve?” i told him as we both stood by the hallways of the school. it was after-school hours and he asked me to meet him here. if you wanted a brief review on why and how we both ended up here..

he played with me.

2weeks ago

“so you’re telling me, you acted like,, you liked me because you almost got caught by MY BEST FRIEND that you liked her?” i cleared out as heavy tears started to gather up my eyes, it felt like flames were starting to erupt as i gave him a hard glare.

but him? his head was down, drooped down in guilt? or in amusement? no one knows. but one thing was for sure.

he fvcking played me.

“y-yes but i ended up liking you-”

“CUT THE BULLSH!T JAKE” i cut him off as my eyes started to feel hot, then as if on cue, tears started to fall from my eyes. i felt weak, so incredibly weak. it was as if i could just breakdown and never get up, i wanted the ground to just dig me up and never put me back. shame, anger and sadness swallowed me whole and my legs started to give up one me.

“goddammit jake,, y-you knew i started to like you..so, so that means all those gifts were supposed to be for her and not for me-” i choked on my own tears, cutting myself off. jake’s head shot up and his hands reached out to help me.

but of course, i hit him off.

i gathered myself once again, taking deep breaths i lifted my head up.

“let me avoid you for now”

and i turned and walked away.

present

“i-im so sorry-”

“-i know, you should be.” i looked at his sad figure. continuing i said,

“but you know what hurts more jake?” his breath hitched and he slowly lifted his head up meeting my eyes.

“i can’t let go of the fact that i still like you, may it be just a tid bit.” i managed to say. his eyes went wide and he bit his lip, his head snapped back down again as his hands travelled to the nape of his neck, rubbing it.

“w-well”

“i know why you even called me here in the first place though,” i cut him off again. “you wanted my help to get my best friends attention again right?”

silence.

i scoffed to myself, blinking aggresively astonished by the sudden courage the boy in front of me had. “so i’m right”

“now suddenly you’re here, in front of me. when things don’t go your way you need me to fix it.”

“it’s just that..” he whispered. i chuckled to myself like a psychopath.

“w-why are you laughing?” he asked me as my eyes met his.

“my best friend has a boyfriend idiot.” i snapped back. then again, his eyes suddenly grew as wide as an owl’s. it was entertaining actually, his eyes started to aggresively shake and he fidgeted with his hands. as his hands travelled to his hair he scratched it - leaving his hair a complete mess.

“what?” he mumbled.

“i’ve always wanted to tell you that somehow, the way i saw you lovingly staring at her, the way your smile showed and the way your eyes sparkled, i’ve always wanted to tell you that you have no chance. but when you started to “flirt” with me. i thought maybe i was wrong” i paused looking at his broken facial expression.

“but after this incident i felt like this was the right time to say it. you know what...”

he gulped and his eyes stared into mine, obviously hoping for a positive answer.

“ i don’t really care how bad it hurts,

since you broke me first.”