#kryff

[astraldestiny]

➝ @kryff​​​​​ said: a plate comes to settle in front of kyp, a small assortment of foods spread out on it. soon thereafter varik finds a spot across from him, sitting with a well - humored huff of air. “don’t know what you like,” he says casually, lightly, “so i just grabbed a bit of everything. the fruit looks weird, but — it’s not half bad, actually.” / early academy things …

   He was about to instinctively reply that this seat was already taken, hand already reaching for the next best object nearby he might be able to use as a weapon if he had to fight for his spot at the table just to be reminded he wasn’t in the mines of Kessel anymore. The praxeum didn’t WORK like that. It was hard to switch off the survival instinct but he had to admit, Varik was one of the few people who almost convinced him it was worth trying. “ As long as the food is free I’m not going to be picky about it. ”, he replied casually, muttering a quick ‘ thanks ’ before taking a bite of ... he wasn’t sure what it was but it looked edible and that was good enough for him right now. It was a weird, being able to sit down and eat whenever he wanted, being able to eat in PEACE and not having to hurry or worry that something would happen and ruin his chance of having dinner that day. 

   He couldn’t help being on edge regardless, like he was just waiting for it to backfire, waiting for master Skywalker to send him away or for the academy to be closed down. Something like that always happened and that was exactly why, despite Varik’s kindness, he wasn’t very keen on befriending him. People always left him in the end so he had stopped bothering. He didn’t need friends anyway — right? “ So how much do we wanna bet they make us pay for all this stuff eventually. There’s no way its all free, right? ”

[astraldestiny]

➝ @kryff​ said: [ varik -> kyp ] “ i’m watching out for you because i love you. ”

   It should be obvious to him, shouldn’t it? Of course he knew Varik loved him and still — there was a part of him ... the kid who had his family taken away from him, who had been forced to work in dangerous mines, treated like an ANIMAL rather than a person, tthat couldn’t quite comprehend why Varik loved him and how much he loved him. The part of him that didn’t understand wanted to keep the other at arm’s length, make sure there was enough space so he wouldn’t get hurt when the inevitable happened. But he knew Varik was here to stay. They had gone over this many, many times before and still he struggled to accept it, ALLOW himself to accept it. 

    Lightaber finally lowered and turned off so he could face Varik, he bit back the reactionary ‘ I don’t need someone watching out for me ’ that he had given so many of his colleagues many times before and instead responded with a quiet, heartfelt “ I know ... ”. What he wanted to say was ‘ thank you ’ but he couldn’t quite get himself to voice it. How much longer would it take until he could trust Varik the way he WANTED to? Until he stopped looking over his shoulder expecting betrayal or abandonment? How long until he was willing to accept he was loved? He quietly attached his lightsaber to his belt again, unable to meet Varik’s gaze as he once again fought the urge to declare he prefered to fight his own fights himself, that help wasn’t NEEDED. It was a stupid attitude that could get him killed. Relying on others wasn’t always a bad thing and deep down he knew that. It was just harder to admit when he had been burned so many times before. Trust was hardly ever given out and easily broken. Maybe these things would never change about him. Maybe Varik would leave one day because he got tired of WAITING for him to change.

[astraldestiny]

➝ @kryff​ said: miko vc kyp. hey, kyp. look at me. kark you

    “ W— where did that come from? How about you go do your training for the day before you start insulting your master. Respect your elders, kid! ”

[astraldestiny]

➝ @kryff​​​​​​​​​ said: [ varik -> mina ] “ you seem … frustrated. ”

   It irritated her — not being able to control her emotions the way she had been to before the Vong had gotten their hands on her. The thought of that time alone made her skin crawl and her heart rate jump higher. She was a Jedi, freshly knighted, she should be BETTER than this. Yet here she was, sitting on the warm stones outside in a failed attempt to find her balance, to listen to the force and reach for her peace once more. She had hoped no one would take notice but with so many Jedi present it would have been foolish to expect no one would sense it. Most seemed polite enough to leave her to it — he refused, for better or worse. She wasn’t sure WHICH one it was. She stayed silent for a moment, eyes closed, trying to listen to the wind around her before finally giving up, shoulders sinking with a defeated sigh. 

    “ It is that obvious, hm? ” She didn’t have to ask, she knew, but she had nothing else to say. What could there be to talk about? Healing from something traumatic took time and patience and peace and all of that were very short in supply as long as the war was still raging outside. “ Things have been ... rough I guess. I volunteered to accompany master Skywalker on the search for this moving planet and while he didn’t say it to my face I could feel he was concerned over my health, wondering if I was ready for this. ” It had been almost two years since her time in captivity, since she had suffered under Nen Yim and her master but she had made little progress in this time. “ What if he is right? What if I’m not ready? What if I’ll NEVER be ready ever again? ”

[astraldestiny]

➝ @kryff​​​​​​​​​ said: varik is going to … slyly reach over and very quietly take kyp’s hand. there’s nothing in to see here.

   Maybe it was stupid, but despite everything that had happened between them, Kyp still had no idea how to react to situations like these. There was a part of him that still tried to process the fact that Varik was here with him and he wasn’t going anywhere else any time soon. There had been a long time in Kyp’s life where no one had stayed, where things changed every other day or only stayed the same when his life was miserable so to be met with something positive EVERY day — he wasn’t sure he would ever get used to it. 

   He would have wondered if Varik found the following silence unpleasant had it not been for the fact he could feel him in the force so closely, so CLEARLY and knew that wasn’t the case. He was thankful to be able to know without having to ask, without stumbling over his words and getting frustrated trying to find the right ones. All he had to do was gently squeeze Varik’s hand and send the vague feeling of happiness in his direction. Varik would understand, he KNEW he would.

[astraldestiny]

➝ @kryff​​​​​​​​​ said: [ varik -> kyp ]   “ i thought i’d lost everything. i thought i’d lost everyone, everything, that i loved. but i hadn’t. i hadn’t, and i abandoned you when you needed someone, and i don’t think there will ever be anything i can do to tell you, show you, how sorry i am. i know words don’t mean anything at this point — but still. ”

   “ You know, you’re right about one thing: You did abandon me. ”, he spit back, unwilling to hear his former friend out. Varik had truly managed the impossible: Make Kyp blame anyone but himself for what had happened years ago on Yavin 4. Kyp knew there wasn’t much that would have stopped him from falling for Exar Kun’s tricks, for the offer of power to finally fight back instead of being the victim day and day again but he was sure that having a friend at his side would have at least made it a bit more DIFFICULT for the Sith to pull him on his side. And maybe if he hadn’t been alone so much he would have never made it to Carida in the first place, or at least wouldn’t have been alone in the aftermath. But none of that mattered now did it? Varik hadn’t been there, no one had cared, Kyp had been dropped as he had been so MANY times before. 

    “ If you think I’m going to just forgive you for running away like a coward, I’m not going to. You know when I messed up I actually went back to face judgement for my actions. It didn’t exactly make me popular with just about anyone out there but at least I can say I owned up to what I did. ” The fact that Varik had apparently chosen to simply run away from any kind of RESPONSIBILITY and judgement ... it bothered Kyp. Everyone knew his name now, feared him, despised him, but Varik was free to go do whatever he wanted. How was that fair? “ Do you know what it felt like, thinking I finally met someone who actually tolerates me just for that person to leave, like everyone else? It sucks, it kriffing sucks. ”

[reawakcn]

[ @kryff​ ] [ neiki -> iaera ]   “ yes, exactly. only the exact phrase i used was, ‘don’t’. ”

“oh, was that what it was?” Iaera mimes sticking a finger in her ear, waggling her hand cheekily in imitation of the many open-eared species in the galaxy. “must’ve gone deaf back there.”

smoke curls from the hem of her loose outer robe, any true risk long since faded by her plummet back to a duracrete landing. “they’re not gonna be looking for two Jedi. just a wild arsonist.”

which, of course, meant that while the mark’s private security was investigating the room with the vault, the two Shadows could slip in and out, securing and replacing an old amulet with a visually identical fake. leaving it here was leaving too much to risk; all it took was one untrained sensitive noticing and tapping into the imbued power.

“c’mon. where’s your sense of adventure?”

[ firefly // accepting ]

[reawakcn]

[ @kryff​ ] [ neiki -> iaera ]   “ how come you didn’t turn on me? ”

“was that what you expected?” left thumb presses down on a dollop of synthflesh scavenged from the medkit now half scattered in her lap, sealing closed a gash on the underside of the twi’lek’s forearm. then, turning, hand still in place around her right forearm, she swings to fix Neiki with a stare, swaying like a marionette with half her strings cut. “turning on another Jedi when it gets ugly?”

the tips of her lekku twitch with the distaste that thought brought ( though it was not outside the realm of possibility — would she ever find herself in a situation where it was a choice between a fellow Jedi and ensuring some Sith artifact would never see the light of the day, she would choose the artifact any day. simple math ).

“a lightsaber in the back, perhaps?” straightening in her seat, she snags the remaining synthflesh, flicking a tiny globule at her fellow Shadow before setting to work on sealing other minor scrapes and burns. things she could’ve mended with a good meditative nap, but was too entrenched in habit to consider. they were, after all, still technically within enemy territory. “you’re not Sith, first of all. I’d at least warn you before turning on you.”

[ firefly // accepting ]