tea is served
Written for the @drarrymicrofic prompt 'Slander' (225 words)
‘And then there was that time during potty training when he waddled off to the hydrangea bushes and dropped his tiny trousers. Sadly unaware of the very inquisitive peacock lurking behind him. He ran screeching through the manor and complained of a “sore botty” for weeks.’
“Oh my god,” Harry laughed.
‘Don’t forget the massive crush he had on the Minister for Magic.’
“Fudge?!”
‘Oh yes. Obsessed. He kept so many election flyers and clippings under his pillow that there was a permanent imprint of Cornelius’ face on the satin.’
“Amazing.”
‘That was, of course, until he started at Hogwarts. The house-elves were under strict instructions not to disturb the Witch Weekly shrine. Or his Boy-Who-Lived figurine collection.’
“I'm sorry, his what?”
‘You heard me. Breakfast cereal toys. All. Seven. Limited. Editions.’
"No way. I can't—"
‘Septimus, tell him about when Draco spent an entire weekend begging Mummy dearest to help him sew some costumes to impress a boy at school—’
The parlour door burst open. It was Draco—clearly finished in the little boys' room, though he looked far more panicked than freshened up.
“Lies! Scurrilous lies! Harry, you must know these buffoons are just portraits and don’t have real memories.”
Harry lifted his teacup, and then a single eyebrow. “Mm hmm.” He took a sip. “Just please tell me you kept the Fudge pillowcase.”