#kubler-ross

[unofficialchronicle]

Kubler-Ross Grief Cycle

Cycle, not stages. 

Starting sort of at equilibrium 

Get frozen

Get into higher energy (anger)

Alternating between anger and denial

Bargaining: cure? Get more time?

Low emotion/depression, and an inward turn. 

Acceptance: person recognizes that they will die. Person is at peace with the fact that they have to die. They may be conserving energy in order to make the transition. 

[mega2wheellife]

[sowingseedsandshootinghoops]

Death in Modern Society

Note on the text: I used Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’ On Death and Dying: What the Dying Have to Teach Doctors, Nurses, the Clergy, and Their Own Families as published by Schreiber in 2019.

This is the book where Dr Ross famously came up with the “Five Stages of Grief”. But honestly what interested me more than that were her thoughts on how modern society, especially in the West, confront the reality of death. 

Dr Ross starts off her book by telling us about her experiences growing up on a farm in Switzerland. Specifically she talks about a time when, as a young girl, she was told that a beloved neighbor was dying. Instead of having people tiptoeing around the subject, treating it as if it were something taboo, she recalls the community speaking about what was happening openly and honestly, even among children. Death was seen as just another part of life, and therefore not as something that needed to be shoved aside and ignored. Not even when it came to children. In fact, in her view, it was helpful for her and her friends to be a part of those conversations because it made them feel like they were part of the community and helped them learn how to handle their grief. After all, they knew that something was going on, and would have known at least that much even if no one explained it to them. That’s what a lot of people forget: Children always know what is happening around them. What they are missing is the why. Death is an essential part of life that all of us, from the youngest child to the eldest adult, must learn to cope with because we will all encounter it in some way someday.

Now Switzerland at that time, in her own words, was a country where “science [was] not so advanced, where modern technology [had] just started to find [its] way into modern medicine, and where people [lived, essentially,] as they did in that [same] country a half century earlier” (5). So when she eventually left her small farm and joined the larger world, especially in the USA, it was something of a shock. Technology had allowed people to make great advancements, especially when it came to the field of medicine. In fact, as she came to realize, medicine is so good now, especially in bigger more metropolitan cities, that people are able to cure diseases now that were once thought incurable. The result of this is that death is a far less prevalent occurrence now, especially in First World countries, than it was before. One would assume that as a result of this that we are more equipped now, especially in the highly industrialized West, to more effectively “prepare ourselves and our families for [the] inevitable” event that is death (7). But instead she found the opposite to be true: “The more [advancements] we make in science, the more we seem to fear and deny the reality of death” (7). 

The reason for that, in her opinion, is that until we as a species became more technologically advanced, especially when it came to medicine, death was an unavoidable reality. Children died by the thousands and plagues would routinely wipe out whole villages. Therefore death people couldn’t as easily avoid the topic of death. It wasn’t something that happened in some far off hospital room like it does now- it was happening on your front door. 

This is in contrast to what happens now, at least in most First World countries. Now medicine has become so effective that death is no longer a part of everyone’s daily reality. More than that, it has been banished to the outskirts of society’s mind like an invader who must be driven away from the gates. In Dr Ross’ opinion, people generally avoid talking about death now because “dying has become more gruesome in many ways, namely more mechanical, lonely, and dehumanized” (7). Many people are, for example, forced to die somewhere outside of their home and familiar surroundings, something that would almost never have happened in past ages where most people would wind up dying in their own beds. Now sick people are carted off into hospital rooms and old people are pushed into retirement facilities. They die in unfamiliar environments surrounded by unfamiliar faces. The result of all this is that death has become very taboo. Death has been made to feel like some unseen all-powerful force that is there to destroy your life before it even takes it. This makes it something which people feel must be avoided at all costs, and never even talked about. Death is no longer recognized as something that is integral part of life- as something which human beings must learn to embrace because it is the natural end which everyone must endure. No one lives forever. Now that doesn’t mean that death isn’t scary, what it does mean is that people have to learn how to live with it and how to cope with it. Which is to say, among many other things, that they have to learn how to grieve. Which is where her book comes in. 

Death is unavoidable and if I’ve learned anything in my last 34 years it is that not talking about something does not make it go away. We cannot simply stop thinking about death and pretend that it no longer exists. In fact I would say that a lot of our destructive instincts are fostered by the fact that we don’t really respect the power of death. At least not before it is too late. It is not until our loved one dies or something like a school shooting happens that many of us are forced to confront the reality of death and that is a problem. Because death is a part of life, and to ignore that is to ignore something that is fundamental to our nature.

[dylankerraddictiontherapy]

Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance in 2021

Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance in 2021

Denial Anger Bargaining Depression and Acceptance (DABDA) was a formula brought forward Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in the 1970’s, it refers to different stages a person moves through when being told that they have a terminal illness (Kubler-Ross, 1988). Over the years the model has been adopted as a model of grief, people move through similar stages when being told someone in their life has died,…

View On WordPress

[relaxandsucceed]

Kubler-Ross Meets Covid

As we spend time with others, it's helpful to remember that we're all moving through the stages of grief at different speeds. #YEG #itsoktonotbeok

Patience and understanding may not always pay off immediately. Still, often times, having a generous, response to other’s stresses will create a positive effect within our relationships.

While many have witnessed it themselves, there are a few who question Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s model for the Five Stages of Grief. The reason I knew them to be true for the cultures I am familiar with, was because…

View On WordPress

[terceiraterra]

Sobre a Morte e o Morrer

Escudo do Mestre: Sobre a Morte e o Morrer. Com @Kapiwara e @Ravvena

“Your sorrow is the inevitable result of circumstances beyond your control” — Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Você cria o conceito. Você faz o malabarismo com as regras. Você pensa nos objetivos, desenvolve os objetivos e o background. O jogo começa. A sorte não está à seu favor hoje. Seu personagem morre.

E agora?

Vitor (@Kapiwara) e Guilherme “Xezz” (@Ravvena) discutem sobre a morte de um personagem. Por…

View On WordPress

[okusamawamajou]

My cosplay process

1. Researching, planning, stressing how to make this all work.  2.  Actually, this is coming along pretty well! 3. No really, this looks terrible. I should just start it over 4. I don't have time to redo it, I'm just going to have to deal with it as it is 5. Actually, it's not half bad! In fact, it's pretty good! It's a sort of Kubler-Ross  Stages of Cosplay. I’m at 3 and moving towards 4 right now. 

[ilhuicatzin]

Cuando sale el sol y comienza el día

pienso en ti.

Cuando estamos ocupados con

nuestros importantísimos asuntos,

pienso en ti.

Cuando tenemos tanta prisa para ir a ningún sitio,

demasiado ocupados para detenernos y oler una flor,

escuchar el canto de un pájaro, sonreír a alguien,

pienso en ti ...

Siempre pienso en ti.

Te quiere mamá.

De mamá a Karin, 978.