Clarity || Terazuma & Wakaba || [Drabble]
Stress was a terrible thing. Between the memory loss, the protection assignment, and now being shackled with the knowledge of Doumeki's sacrifice for him, it was a wonder the cursed shinigami hadn't blown up from it all. He took solace in spending time with Tsuzuki, but even that did little to ease his anxieties or guilt. Because of him, his best friend gave up the memories of the one he'd loved for so long. It was because of him as well that Tsuzuki and himself were relocated to Bunkyo. He'd gotten attached, far too much for his comfort.
Seated upon the roof's edge of their apartment building, Terazuma leaned against the guard rail, arms crossed and with that ever present cigarette hanging between his lips. There was a mild chill in the air from the oncoming winter, yet the biting cold was soothing, at least. He stared out across the city, a frown upon his face. Thoughts plagued his mind, causing a restlessness in both he and his shikigami. The great lion was more subdued as of late, something that he was not accustomed to. Heaving a sigh, he expelled the noxious smoke from his cigarette and rested his chin upon his arms.
"How is it you always know when I need you?" he mumbled softly.
"I'm your senpai of course, Hajime-kun." Taking a seat next to him, Wakaba gave her junior partner a soft smile. The man gave a snort and tilted his head to give her his attention.
"It's not just that though, is it?" No, there was more to it. He could feel it. The Black One made a soft noise in his head and seemed to retreat to the back of their shared mind space.
"...you're right." The smile faded. Being a miko had its advantages and disadvantages, one of those being the connection to the world of the shikigami. As a Gatekeeper, Wakaba was more attuned to them. Being partnered with both of the feline's hosts had also deepened that connection. "Hajime-kun..."
"What's happening to me? You know, don't you?" The words came out harsh, making the girl flinch. The accusation hurt, but it was deserved. She did know though she wished she didn't. Watching her partner slowly lose himself pained her more than she could say. She reached out and carefully touched Terazuma's shoulder, an action that she was ashamed to admit brought her joy. The limiters were still working, keeping the shikigami tamed for the meanwhile. They wouldn't last forever.
"Kagan Kuroshuki isn't one of the Divine Commanders, but he is still so very important. All shikigami are... That's why for parasitic shikigami like Kuro-sama, it is vital for them to pick their hosts very carefully. Otherwise there's the possibility for them to disappear forever." Wakaba paused to chew her lip, eyes downcast. "Jihiro-senpai wasn't right for Kuro-sama. None of his previous hosts were. But you are."
Terazuma closed his eyes and turned away, the frown deepening as she continued, "that's why Jihiro-senpai took that case. He knew Kuro-sama needed you, but the only way for that to happen was for him to die, and once that happened, Kuro-sama could..." Her fingers curled tightly in the fabric of his shirt. It was a terribly sore subject for them, one they had refused to breach throughout their partnership. But the truth needed to be said. "I'm so sorry, Hajime-kun...!"
"Kannuki," he spoke calmly as he opened his eyes, staring up at the dark sky. "I can't remember that."
"I know. Kuro-sama is eating your memories so that... So that when Hajime-kun no longers exists, he can be real."
There was a long silence then, disrupted only by Terazuma flicking the dead butt of his cigarette off the side of the building. A fine tremor had started, so faint Wakaba almost thought she'd imagined it. She swept to her feet and curled her arms around his torso, holding on as the tremors wracked his lithe frame. "D-Doumeki stopped him. He gave up everything he held dear to stop it."
"It can't be stopped, Hajime-kun. Kuro-sama and Hajime-kun are meant to be one. There is no stopping destiny." She held tighter when he snarled and lashed out. Being this close to him, Wakaba felt the true pain in her heart swell as the secret she held for so long was laid bare. This was his fate, had always been his fate. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..."
The cursed shinigami was truly and ineffably cursed, and there was no way to fix it. It was hitsuzen.
