holy shit we made this account when we were 14-15 in highschool and now we are 24 and live together. Now there’s gonna be more Black butler anime….. the phrase “crack” is now just “memes”,,, this world is fucking crazy
You may be thinking, ‘But Stella, Sebastian is a smooth, suave demon who would never stoop to honest labor and a simple life’. I can hear you cry: “If Sebastian was a human living in the modern day, he’d be the sexy, successful, too-good-to-be-true businessman of my dreams!” Surely life as a humble farmer is not the way of our bastardous demon Sebs.
Well folks, I beg to differ.
Now, this is best explained as a narrative than a simple bullet list of facts, so bear with me here. You’re already along for the ride.
I can’t quite remember where the idea first popped into my head, but once I thought of Farmer Seb, I latched on hard, and with every addition, it just. Kept. Working.
So first off, it helps to conceptualize this in terms of scaling demon life down to human life. Sebastian has already compared humans to animals a few times, so this makes pretty clear sense.
Why does Sebastian opt for making deals with humans? He has expressed boredom with his very long life, and it’s too easy to just eat any old human. He wants to cater something to his palate and give him some entertainment. “So long as it passes the time and fills my stomach, I shall require nothing more”, right?
Now-- HERE is my narrative with Sebastian’s experience so far.
Mr. Big Shot is the son of a large, influential corporation he’s set to inherit. He’s trained for the position for his whole life -- gone to a big shiny business school, at the top of his class, with special training, the whole shebang... But he’s bored. Everything’s handed to him. And really, this whole corporate life seems rather hollow, doesn’t it? A bit dim, really. And the pre-prepared dinners are just not doing it for him.
So, our boy fucks right off to make something of his own. And wouldn’t you know it, a nice, young little piglet comes right into his path along the way. He’s a bit runty, but since Sebastian is in control here -- he can make this pig perfectly suited to his tastes! Not like that store bought meat. So, he takes the deal.
Only thing is, this is a farm piglet. And a very needy piglet, too. Sebastian has to rent -- and work -- the whole barn, in order to be able to buy this pig. A bit of a nuisance, but nothing our boy can’t handle. And with an inflated ego like his, Sebs really does think this will be a piece of cake. A bunch of animals (people) are rather predictable, aren’t they?
Except... that they aren’t sometimes. The dog got out in the pasture and is scaring the living daylights out of the sheep! The horse spooked itself into abandoning ship! How in the hell did the chickens get on the roof?!?! (This is attributable to all the moments Seb is dealing with unexpected shenanigans with humans).
And don’t even get him started on the fucking pig. This little squealer likes to play games -- stealing and hiding Sebs tools, escaping bath days, running around a corner where Seb left the slop bucket to get him to trip over it and spill extra treats, and just making a general fool out of the man. When piggy isn’t making Sebs’ life a living hell, he’s antagonizing the other animals, and picking fights with the cows (that are 20 times his size). This pig drives him up the goddamn wall- ‘but it will all be worth it when I get to have that perfect Christmas ham--’
The only thing that keeps him going is seeing the gradual progress as our eyepatch-clad piggy gets fatter and fatter.
Except. Some other farmer decides one day he can swoop in on the day of the butchering. And Steal. His. Fucking. Pig. (Looking at you Claude)
Okay, okay, season 2 is not technically canon. I raise you--
Some whackjob strolls into the farm one day... and somehow has the deed to the entire-effing-farm. And he kicks Seb and all of his animals out. And he remembers this whackjob is the very same carnival loony who worked the Guess-The-Pig’s-Weight game at the County Fair last year. And the guy that STABBED HIM like a month ago and had some whole speech about how Seb is being abusive... to the meat he bought. But NOW the guy has his own pig and Seb isn’t sure if he’s coming after his pig in this hostile takeover. This all comes out of frickin nowhere.
ALL IN ALL-
Seb is a very tired farmer who’s in way over his head with a lot more than he bargained for.
But he can still count on that prized Christmas dinner...
Right?
___________________
So, that’s what I’ve got! Thanks for reading & hope you all get as much of a kick out of this as I do. This really has become something of an AU now... I’ll probably post more of my thoughts on this AU later, seeing as I have more on Sebs personal background (and future!)
Hey guys 🥺🥺 I’ve been trying to revive my godlike kuro group chat from three years ago. (the OG kuro discord if y’all were there for it.)
(WOW y’all remember that??)
And I refreshed the server actually. A few months ago, made new things, and there are still a lot of characters that need filling! Even mains! Feel free to PM me!
I recommend being 16+, for some suggestive talk abouts. And please, no sebaciel
*a table gets rolled out holding the murdered twin sibling I never knew I had and everyone in the audience with Ellen included start putting on tacky masks.*
