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𝕀'𝕞 𝕐𝕠𝕦𝕣 ℕ𝕦𝕞𝕓𝕖𝕣 𝕆𝕟𝕖

𝕂𝕦𝕣𝕥 𝕂𝕦𝕟𝕜𝕝𝕖 𝕩 ℝ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕣

WC: 6.4K Warnings: MDNI, NSFW, Smut (mutual masturbation), I guess you technically can call this virtual sex. Summary: You finally do something about your crush on that kind of hot, weird YouTuber you started watching. A/N: I've somehow stumbled my way back into reader inserts, and it's all thanks to Kurt Kunkle. Please let me know your thoughts, hope to make more of these for yall soon <3

You're fairly certain that sometime, back in late elementary school, they taught you never to speak to strangers online. What your teachers then had never accounted for, though, was the existence of cute strangers. Hot strangers, even. And especially not kurtsworld96.

Kurtsworld96 was, for lack of a better phrase, weird as hell. There was no denying it. The moment the page had shown up on your YouTube recommended, you'd nearly almost clicked away because of the creepy user icon and the off-putting thumbnail chosen for a product review. Nothing about it screamed to you, "hey, watch this and you'll get obsessed.' If anything, it screamed, 'hey, please run away and maybe consider calling your local authorities.' You'd very nearly done so after scrolling the page a bit more.

Only, you didn't.

Because whether it be fate, destiny, or your horrible bored and lonely mind throwing caution to the wind, you chose to ignore the warning signs and click on the stupid product review video anyway. And with your horribly ill-advised action, you came face-to-face with the man behind the curtain himself, Kurt.

And what a man he was.

Though still undoubtedly weird as hell, he was quite the sight. He had these big brown eyes, you see. Big brown, chocolatey eyes joined by a dusting of freckles that drew the viewer in instantly, like a moth to a flame.

He also had this smile. God, his smile. Whenever he let that smile run free, you found it a lot easier to ignore his oddness. Cause like yeah, sure, he tried fifteen different vapes and described them all by their 'mouth feel' as serious as one could do such a thing, but did you see that smile after he tried the second one? Who cared what he said.

"Goner" didn't even describe it at that point. You were officially on your way to becoming Kurt Kunkle's number one fan, all thanks to a runaway crush.

For the longest time, you tried denying how bad your crush was. You kept it hidden, like a dirty little secret stuffed into the back of your drawer along with other unmentionables. You even made a different YouTube profile just to watch his stuff so no one visiting would dare log in and catch one of his videos on display. It wasn't that you were embarrassed, per say (though, if you were honest, that did play some role in it all, he really could be weird). You just weren't sure about confronting those feelings of yours yet.

Not when he had no idea you even existed.

Not when you still didn't have the courage to leave a like, comment, or subscription.

Everything changed, though, the day he posted a 'Get Ready With Me' video.

It began harmless. Sat in his room that barely could be considered a room, Kurt posed before his camera and introduced himself with his typical spiel, all smiles and faux excitement. He went on to state this video would go into a little bit about his life while he got ready for work as a Spree driver, and kicking off his life updates, he began to talk all about it.

You'd fully prepared to sit back and idly watch those updates. It was super late already, after all, and you weren't opposed to falling asleep to Kurt's antics. He had a nice enough voice, and it wasn't like anyone would be quizzing you on this later. There really was nothing stopping you from drifting off and waiting for auto-play to do its thing.

But then, Kurt took his shirt off.

And listen, you could only feign restraint for so long.

He had freckles. Freckles and moles and chest hair that really didn't match the person but looked amazing on him and gave him such a rugged, wild appearance. He also had a bit more definition to his body than you had ever expected given, well, everything else about him. Jaw basically dropped, you were helpless to do anything but stare.

You also were helpless to keep your hand from finding your mouse and hitting the like button. And the subscribe button.

Imagine your surprise when, moments after hitting both, and seconds before your lack of restraint may have led you to leave a comment, a notification came through from kurtsworld96 inviting you to chat.

Naturally, you screamed and barrel rolled across your bed.

It's just, who would have ever suspected that quick of a response? At least a few minutes between your leap of faith and a response would've been fine maybe, but this? The immediate interaction? You felt way too perceived. There was no way you could allow that request. Nope. Not a single possibility of that happening as far as you were concerned.

You gave in about twenty minutes later.

Whether or not that decision was made alongside a glass of wine was no one's business. Your reasoning behind giving in was also no one's business. Even if it was the result of staring back at Kurt's channel, at his face on one of his videos with those stupid eyes and that greasy haircut of his, no one had to know. For all the world knew, you were just trying to be nice to the weird guy. Friendly. That wasn't a crime! In fact, it was super nice of you. No one could blame you for being nice…even if it came associated with mild loneliness and unfiltered attraction.

Kurt reached out about five minutes afterward.

kurtsworld96: Hey! So cool you liked and subscribed to my channel. I appreciate you joining in my journey of bringing real, relatable content to the interwebs. That's like, so sick. For real.

You blinked back at the message. You wouldn't exactly call product reviews and such 'real, relatable' content, but you supposed different strokes for different folks. It could be relatable to someone…somehow.

You took to your keyboard.

5eeheronline: Haha no prob. Figured I should finally subscribe.

The next text bubble was instant.

kurtsworld96: Wait did you see the other videos too???

You paused. You could always lie and say no. It didn't matter to you either way, really, how he perceived you. As far as he could know, you just stumbled upon his channel and said screw it, I'll follow.

That wouldn't be as fun, though.

5eeheronline: Yeah! Quite a brand you have going here.

Breath held, you sat and waited.

kurtsworld96: NO WAY you are the best!! A real OG. You are seriously awesome. Listen I want to show you how thankful I am for being such a loyal fan. What would you say to a 1v1 chat? We could play video games, discuss social media strategy, swap music. I have Roblox too btw

Roblox. Just when you thought you couldn't encounter something crazier than being asked to do a call with a random stranger who runs a barely fledgling YouTube channel, the guy asks you to play Roblox. It should have icked you out. Freaked you out, even. He should've met the block button in his 'journey' right then and there.

And yet-

5eeheronline: Sure lol whatever you want, man. Maybe not Roblox but we can chat. Do you have Discord? I'm there, same name as here.

Like with the rest of Kurt's actions, the friend request came through your Discord in record time, followed by a very enthusiastic series of chats asking if you were ready to call now. Given that you absolutely were nowhere near ready so late at night in bed, you replied telling him to give you ten and hoped that would be enough. You then hustled up and off your bed, swapping into a sports bra, oversized shirt, and shorts from your typical nighttime attire. You didn't bother with makeup or anything, though. The dude looked like he rarely washed his hair. He could live with a less-than-perfect face on your part. Hell, your presence was already a blessing enough.

Diving back to your bed, you propped yourself up against your pillows, set your laptop up top a few more in a fake desk situation, and sealed your fate with a quick message.

5eeheronline: Ready whenever you are!

Immediately, Kurt called.

When you answered, you were met with the same setup you'd seen before: Kurt's bedroom. It was a little darker, lit up by what you figured had to be a cheap lamp, and from the looks of things, Kurt probably had you propped up on a makeshift desk contraption of his own. Everything was too close to the ground, and you'd seen his mattress before. That thing lived on the floor, and thus, so would you.

Kurt's surroundings were far from the most important, incredible thing on your mind, though. No, that role went to Kurt himself. He must have just showered a little before you started chatting. His hair was just slightly wet — not greasy, wet, and all scattered on top his head like he'd thrown a towel haphazardly over it and shaken it. In terms of clothes, he had on what looked to be just a plain gray tee. You couldn't see bottoms, but you hoped he had some on.

Mostly.

Kurt's big brown eyes grew impossibly large, registering you.

"Whoa," he breathed, sounding utterly gut-punched.

"Hi. You uh, okay?"

Far from it, it looks like, you thought as Kurt stared straight ahead. He might as well be short-circuited. Right when all hope seemed lost, though, he suddenly shook his head and put on what you could only describe as his video persona mask to cope.

"Yes! Of course! I'm always so happy to meet one of my true fans," he gushed with about as much enthusiasm as a kid at Christmas. "What kind of person would I be if I wasn't?"

You shrugged, tilting your head a little. "An asshole, probably."

His face lit up. "Yes! Exactly! And I do not want to be an asshole, not to you. What, uh, what's your name by the way? I don't want to be one of those assholes who doesn't ask, after all. Men like that are the worst."

You fought to hold back a snort before telling him your name.

"I'm like, such a fan of your name," he replied, swiping at his hair to get it out of his eyes. "It's so cool getting to know people who actually like my content in this day and age. I mean, you never know who's just out there for clout or to chase the next big thing. You, though, you scream legit to me."

"Oh yeah? Why's that?"

Kurt's eyes widened a little. You could practically see his mind scramble for a response. It was kind of pathetic. Cute, too.

"Shoot, uh, well," he swallowed, "like, I dunno, when you're online as much as I am in the, uh, creatorsphere, you speak to a lot of people. You learn to sense vibes, and yours are like, very good. Plus, you know. Well. Um."

Raising a brow, you give him a look. "Know what?"

Kurt let out a shaky laugh. "Well, I mean. Look at you."

"Me? What about it?"

"You just…look, I don't stand for creeps and weirdos, and only advocate for the utmost respect for women across the board-"

"Um-"

"-so please know this comes from like, the heart, and nowhere icky like that-"

"Kurt?"

"-you'rekindatooprettytohavebadvibes," he hurried out, instantly looking away.

You blinked. "Excuse me?"

"I'm serious," he pled, red splotches crawling up his neck, no doubt from feeling the weight of his words. "Like, you just seem so…kind? Which not many people are. And like, I dunno. Pretty girls don't normally take the time to sit and watch my channel without like, leaving something mean-spirited or uncool. You didn't do any of that, so. Yeah. No bad vibes attached. A creator like me's dream."

Now that caught your attention. You did not expect to be a dream to Kurt, even if you were one of only a handful who actually spoke him. Dream felt big. Weighted, almost. Coupled with how shocked he'd looked when he'd seen you and the pretty compliment, it did terrible things to your mind. Terrible, no-good things that had you ignoring all the other words to instead once again fall on his eyes, his freckles, and even that greasy-not-greasy hair of his that adorably had fallen back in his eyes.

You took a breath.

"You think I'm pretty, Kurt?"

His eyes got impossibly wider. You liked it.

"I- Shit, sorry, I-"

"You can tell me, you know. I don't mind."

"Er, I- are you sure you don't want to play something? I swear I wasn't lying about Roblox, I promise. My mom bought it for me a few weeks back, it's not that bad-"

"Kurt."

His jaw snapped shut, eyes flickering to you.

Pretty.

"Yeah?"

"Do you think I'm pretty? Yes or no?"

Another heavy gulp. "Y-Yeah. You're, uh. You're so pretty."

You rewarded him with a smile. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. A-Anything for a- uh- loyal viewer."

"You mean that?"

Kurt looked to short-circuit again. "What do you, uh, mean?"

"'Anything for a loyal viewer,'" you repeated, tilting your head again and batting your lashes at the poor guy on the other side of the screen. "You really mean anything? Cause I really don't want to play Roblox, no offense, but I have an idea of something else we could do. If, well, you'd be down."

You watched Kurt's Adam's apple bob as he let out a shaky laugh. "I uh, I'm not really sure. Do you, uh, do you mean a collab? I mean, I haven't checked your follower count or your content, but I'm sure my viewers wouldn't be too upset with another face around here for a guest spot, even if you are more niche. I think most algorithms push that type of stuff more anyway to promote further engagement."

You had to bite your cheek to keep from laughing. If anyone was 'niche' here, it definitely wasn't you.

"I guess it could be a collab, in a way," you said with a shrug. "Just, well, not a public one."

"What? Why not?"

A smirk crossed your lips. "I mean, I don't think it necessarily would be allowed. It's, uh, kind of crazy."

Kurt frowned. "I don't think I understa-"

"Kurt, I think you're hot."

Had you taken a sledgehammer and slammed it right over the top of his head, Kurt's reaction would've still paled in comparison.

He nearly choked.

"You okay over there?"

"I-I- Are- Wha-"

"Breathe," you offered after a moment, a ghost of a smile playing on your lips as Kurt tried his very best to compose himself. "Take your time."

"I-Is that why you watched me? Cause you think I'm…that?"

You weighed your options of responding, tongue pressed against your teeth. "Yes and no. I mean, I found you by chance. I almost didn't watch. But, I did and well…there you were. It's kind of been a flip of a coin whether or not I keep watching for the content or for you. Is that okay?"

The continued red dusting his neck and now his cheeks told you it was, but still. You wanted to hear it from the man himself. Kurt cleared his throat, seemingly willing himself to do just as much.

"Yeah. I mean," he swallowed awkwardly. "That's cool. Totally. I, uh, I know that's like, a big thing for going viral, after all. Being…hot. So, uh. Wonderful. Way cool. Glad to see it's, uh, working."

"Yup."

"Wait I-I'm sorry, what does, uh, that have to do with our collab though?"

A shy, fluttery feeling washed over you. "Well…if you think I'm pretty, and I think you're hot, and we have time to kill, and we're on a video call where you're down to do literally whatever, maybe…we could do something about it. Have a little fun. Help each other out. Catch my drift?"

Kurt blinked back at you. It became clear to you then, in that moment, that maybe he didn't catch your drift. He couldn't, because he'd likely never been in that position before. Ever. Not with a girl, that was for sure. Not with the way he was getting so hot and bothered and flustered at the sheer thought of being found attractive.

You would likely have to spell this out for him. In detail.

And to think, you almost didn't do anything tonight.

"Kurt," you spoke, slow and not breaking eye contact, lest he get distracted and misunderstand you again, "what if you and I took this time over video to get off together? Would you like that?"

His jaw dropped. You got a massive thrill out of that, your gut twisting a little.

His eyes are so pretty. I wonder what they'd look like between my le-

"Yes," Kurt practically breathed out, his chest rising and falling a bit more prominently all of a sudden. "Wow, um. Yeah, sure, I totally- that would get us banned, you're right. Unless we did like, an OnlyFans thing, which I mean, we could maybe record it all right now. Pretty sure my screen-grabber could capture us both if I trained it correctly-"

"Uh-uh," you chide him, snatching his attention back, "no recording. Remember, I said not public. This would be just for you and me. Private collab only. Understand?"

Kurt frowned. "Yeah, but-"

"Do you not want to do it if it's not public?"

Conflict flashed past his eyes. "N-No- wait, uh, no. I still want to, very much yes, uh. Fuck! Um. Well. It's just, I- Wouldn't you want the world to see you with me?"

Now, that was an interesting question. "Is that something you want me to want?"

"You're my fan," Kurt replied, as if it said it all. Perhaps it did, and then some.

"Well what if, as your fan, I want to have a perfectly private moment with my favorite creator? Keep you to myself?"

"Are there other creators you keep to yourself like…this?"

You huff, smirking a little to yourself. "No, you're the only one I've been crazy enough to think about this with. I uh, I don't even know why I suggested it in the first place. It's kind of crazy. But also it just sort of…feels like something to do with you, given the circumstances. And, well, you seem eager, and it's been a while for me, so-"

"Really? A while? You?"

Blinking, you slowly nodded. "Yeah, uh. You'd be surprised."

"I am."

His bluntness tickled you. "Why's that?"

"Like I said, you're really pretty," he offered, voice nearly cracking. "You should have like, countless dudes knocking down your door. Seriously, you could be an influencer in your sleep. I'm talking brand deals galore, your face on ads, everything. A-And a hot boyfriend who like, always has sex with you."

The influencer comment brought you a moment of pause, but you shoved it and Kurt's assumption with a shrug. "Looks don't dictate people's luck with dating, relationships, or sex, Kurt. Trust me. It's a sweet thought, but it doesn't. Now, are you going to keep wondering how we got here and what guys I do or do not have under my belt, or do you want to actually do something about this?"

Kurt's Adam's apple bobbed, distracting. "How um…how would we start? If we did?"

A soft, slow smile crossed your lips. Looking around, you assessed your area and decided you had enough room to continue from your spot. You sat up a little and shrugged, woefully nonchalant for what was about to take place, just to drive Kurt a little crazy. Judging by the way his eyes sat laser-focused on you on the screen, it seemed to be working.

"However you want to start," you replied. "There's no right or wrong way, really, so long as you're turned on. Are you turned on, Kurt?"

Something of a whimper crossed your ears. You grinned.

"Words, Kurt. Use 'em for me."

"I- uh, yeah. I think so."

You smirked. "Only think so? That won't do."

Before Kurt could open his mouth to clarify, you reached for the hem of your shirt and decided to pull upward. You heard him gasp as it lifted over your head and then made its way beside you on the bed, all bunched up. You gave him a moment to bask in your look without being seen for a moment before turning and facing the screen again, searching for his eyes.

They looked positively black.

Warmth flooded you.

"See something you like?"

Kurt all but choked on air. He scooched closer to his laptop.

"Holy…how…am I dreaming?"

The innocence of him tickled you. "No, Kurt. This is real, I promise."

Shaking his head, Kurt ran a hand through his hair. You caught a glimpse of his arm muscles flex in the process and had to bite the inside of your cheek to hide just how 'nice' of a glimpse it was. It was far too early on for you to be getting worked up when Kurt needed you to take the wheel.

Speaking of-

"I wish I could kiss you."

Your eyes fluttered to his. A flush took your cheeks.

"Yeah?"

He nodded, eyes wide. "You're just…I mean…I don't even know…"

"Tell me. Try."

Kurt swallowed, his stare growing a bit more intense. "I've, like, seen so many girls online. So many. A-And like, they're nice. Very, uh, beautiful in their own right. You know, all women are queens, and all. But like, you…god, I- I don't think any of them are like you."

His words gave you a head rush. Still, you knew better than to let it show. Not yet, at least.

Tilting your head, you let your hand move to splay across your bare midsection. Naturally, Kurt's eyes flew right to it, staring like a moth at a flame. "You barely know me. What makes me different?"

"You know me," he answered, sounding so certain for such a perfect stranger. "The others, they don't watch me, but you…you do. And now you're showing me all this. It makes this moment so…intimate."

"Intimate," you repeated, feeling the word on your tongue. Any other person, any other time, you might've called silly or cringe for using that word. From Kurt though, you can't help but see it as a brutally honest slip of emotion. It wasn't like he often spoke like this in videos, if at all. If he was talking like this to you, it likely was for a good reason. A serious reason.

He was absolutely turned on by you.

You grinned.

"Do I get to see anything?"

Kurt's eyes widened. Within seconds, his own shirt was hastily torn off and tossed far off camera, giving you a perfect glimpse at his muscles at work and, more notably, the patch of hair that dusted his chest and the freckles that accompanied it. You instantly felt transfixed, eyes scanning him and heart pounding. You nearly said something back, nearly gave in to your own form of babbling, when Kurt suddenly froze and looked at the camera.

"We're gonna get banned from Discord."

You blinked, trying to remember what Discord even was. "Oh. Uh, yeah."

"What's your number?" He breathed out, chest rising and falling a bit faster. "We uh, we can FaceTime. Please."

Well, it wasn't like you were going to say no to that.

You rattle off your number by memory, feeling slightly lightheaded doing so. Kurt thanked you the second your voice dropped off, practically scrambling to get his phone to save your contact. Once it was, he clicked off the Discord call in record speed. The silence that followed consumed you, making you feel suddenly sober.

You wondered, in that second, if you really were going to do this, if you were really that starved for attention and into the prospect of Kurt that you were about to let him see you so vulnerable. You wondered if he would hurt you, if perhaps he'd go around your wishes and make this not something private. You had no idea to know, really. Not in the moment. It could be the case.

But then Kurt called, and you really had no choice but to trust it wouldn't be. Answering his FaceTime, you're met with his face again, this time closer. He was close enough that you could really see those freckles and moles of his, along with the richness of his eyes. It sent a fiery heat through you that only grew as he came to realize you'd given him the correct number.

"Hey!"

"Hi," you replied, feeling a little shy all of a sudden. "Better?"

"Yeah," Kurt nodded. "Yeah, we can do anything here." Shifting himself around, you watched as he rested back against his wall. He scratched his chest, drawing your eyes to his hands. They were big. Very big. "Can you, uh, take your bra off?"

Goosebumps washed over you. You noded back at his request wordlessly, reaching behind you. A few little hooks later, and soon enough, you felt your bra fall to your lap, followed by a very breathless, "Oh my god."

Your heart stuttered.

"What do you thi-"

"I want you so bad."

A startled little laugh escaped you. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," he practically whined, hurriedly adjusting his phone again. You got about a moment of calm to catch your breath before, to your pure shock, your phone screen brought you up close and personal with none other than Kurt's massively tented boxers. It's a sight that nearly took your breath away, and not just because of how sudden it all was. What got you the worst, the most, was how Kurt most definitely was not small. Not even remotely. That boy, that utter cringe fail loser of a man, was packing. And, so it seemed, packing for you.

Your eyes refused to leave the screen.

"Damn," you breathed out. "Kurt, you- you're really. Wow."

"Yeah?" His breathless tone sent chills through you. "This, uh, this good? You see how much I want you, babe?"

Babe.

Now that did something for you, too.

"Kurt-"

"I want you so bad," he practically moaned toward his phone, still keeping the picture framed on his very obvious bulge. You noticed it twitch a little and felt your mouth water — something that should have made you feel embarrassed or ashamed. Instead, it left you a little dazed as Kurt reached and took hold of himself, letting out a positively amazing sound as his hand gave him but a fraction of relief. You cursed under your breath, unsure what to exactly make of it.

"What comes next?"

You forced back a little bit of maniacal laughter.

"We should probably get rid of our clothes next."

Kurt's camera panned away from his crotch back to his face, revealing what could only be described as a very, very horny version of his former self to you. You studied it for a moment, observing the subtle red hue of his skin, his slightly parted lips, those damn freckles. Then, your hand instinctively went down to the hem of your bottoms.

"Show me."

Your eyes flickered up to your phone. Kurt sat there, watching, panting.

"Huh?"

"I want to see," he said, sounding like a parched man. "Please. I- I need to see. I'll show you mine, if that makes you feel more uh, equal. You know, like uh, one of those follow-for-follow situations but better. Way better. Please?"

You weren't sure if you should laugh, snort, scoff, gasp, or moan. Just, what was someone supposed to say to that?

Forgoing words, you simply gave Kurt a nod, propped your phone up best you could against your laptop for stability, and zoomed out so he could see everything. With Kurt's eyes fixed on you, your slowly looped your fingers beneath your waistband and pulled, just as asked. In moments, you went from half clothed to fully on display.

Kurt whimpered.

Full-on whimpered.

"You're so hot," he gasped, his hand so obviously moving to feel himself just out of frame. "I don't- my videos can't be this good. No one- uh, no one put you up to this, right?"

Shaking your head, you set your clothes to the side. "Nope."

"'Cause like, I know uh, I know Bobby does skits and stuff," his voice wobbled, his eyes still locked onto you. "You know, Bobby Basecamp? And like, he does them to do good and stuff, but like I don't want to uh, to take advantage of you helping him help me."

"Kurt?"

"Hmm?"

You stared him down. "I don't know or give a fuck about Bobby. Take your pants off, please?"

You didn't have to ask twice.

The clanking of his belt and a few muffled curses at his camera later, and there he was presented before you. You couldn't help but give yourself a moment to marvel, seeing how unashamedly he'd done the same to you before. He just looked so…good. Nicely sized, already so at attention for you. You felt a dire need rise to get it in you one way or another and, frustrated with your inability to do either, your body let out the only thing it could do in such a moment: a moan. A big, wanton, desperate moan that absolutely picked up over FaceTime.

You watched Kurt very visibly twitch and just about did it again.

"I-I can't think of what comes next," he babbled, mind going blank. "You're gonna' have to, uh, tell me. Not 'cause I've never, but 'cause well, you just, you're so-"

"Touch yourself, Kurt."

His hand practically flew to his dick. Under your gaze, he gave it a few strokes, slow and careful as if painfully aware of the shaking in his hands. His other hand found its way to his thigh, gripping there hard enough to show the whites of his knuckles even through the screen.

Seeing him strain, you decided to make a move yourself. You dipped your hand south, widening your legs apart to give Kurt a show as you felt around and took in just how intensely he affected you. His jaw dropped as your finger took to your clit, slow circles putting him in a trance.

He nearly came then, you noticed. If the way his hand flew to squeeze himself, stopping the inevitable, didn't clue you in, the desperate gasp that followed certainly did. Something about the whole ordeal made you dizzy in the head. That, and incredibly turned on.

Kurt called your name.

"Mmm?" You sounded drunk. You sort of felt drunk.

"You uh, need to catch up to me," he said, or more so begged, breathing labored as his chest blossomed into a beautiful shade of pink. You noticed a few veins popping out of his neck and hummed to yourself, speeding up a little in response. "Fuck. I need you to catch up. I can't touch you."

"You want to, Kurt?"

Another whimper. "So much. I want to- mmm, oh god."

You let out a shaky breath, a glance at his hand driving you a little crazy. "Tell me. C'mon. I- fuck- I want to hear. Help me get there, Kurt."

Kurt's hand flew from his thigh to run through his hair, gripping tight at his brunette locks to the point it made him whimper again. It was such a sight that you felt yourself tense, a flush of warmth sweeping over you. In its wake, you sped up your hand and brought your other hand up to your breast, gripping and kneading how you wished Kurt, anyone really, could in that moment. Kurt gasped, cursed, cried possibly, before calling your name again.

"C-Can you finger yourself?"

Eyes fluttering back open, you met Kurt's blown-out gaze and nodded, happy to grant his wish. A single finger made its way in then, easily slipping inside with how crazy he had you. You thrust it a few times, assessing the feeling, before deciding you could do with another. It's a upgrade that sent Kurt damn near into hysterics. His entire body looked to tense, and you heard him rip his hand from his hair to smack the bed beside him.

It was hot. No doubt about it.

"Keep talking, Kurt. Please."

"Fuck," he said back, clearly barely able to. It was then that you got another glimpse of his cock, positively angry and begging for release just at the bottom of the frame. You fixated on it and the bit of pre-cum sitting there, picturing how it might feel, wondering how it might taste against your tongue, imagining how Kurt would react in that moment.

As nerdy and inexperienced as he was, something told you watching him then that he might actually be something really special in that situation. Attentive, even.

You would need to figure out a way to find out for sure, later.

In this moment, however-

"Go faster babe," he pleaded, daring to stroke himself again. "I-I'd fuck you so hard. You, shit, you uh- you shouldn't hold back."

Well…you weren't going to say no to that.

Scissoring your fingers a little, you picked up the pace as instructed, meeting Kurt with a sight you hoped matched the intensity he felt he'd deliver in your shoes. Judging by the way his eyes narrowed, and the way his hooded stare scanned you over, you figured you had.

The real thing that sealed the deal for you, though, was the absolute breathy way his next words came out.

"You're so hot," he rasped, voice just above a whisper. "If I was there…god, I'd do anything. Anything you want. I'd kiss the shit out of you. I'd lay you down and not stop until you were like, so freakin' gone for me. It'd be better than any OnlyFans vid. We'd make them all so jealous, cause it'd be real. So real and good. I'd make you never want another."

Again, you just had to moan at that.

"Keep talking, Kurt."

"Okay," he replied, whining a little. "Okay. Um. Fuck, uh."

"How'd you do it?"

Kurt swallowed loud enough for an audible gulp to come across the receiver.

"I-I'd lay you down, like I said," he said carefully, watching. "And then I'd bury myself in you so deep. So- fuck, oh you'd feel so. I'd not be able to control myself with you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," he babbled back, hissing a little at how close he was. "I'd kiss you everywhere and, uh, I'd just make it so hot for you. And then when uh, when you were about to cum, I'd flip you over and start hitting it from behind."

You felt your abdomen tense. "Fuck, yeah?"

"Yeah," Kurt affirmed, pausing to lick at his hand. When it found his dick again, you watched his eyes flutter shut and his lips part, Kurt momentarily lost in the sensation. You moaned to bring him back into the present, and he met it with a moan of his own, along with a muffled curse.

"You'd like that, baby?"

You cursed back. "Shit, yeah. Yeah, I would."

"Good," he rasped, vein in his neck popping out as he fought off his orgasm. "Would that, uh, make you cum? You think?"

Humming, you took your fingers out to go back to circling your clit. The change in movement caught Kurt's eye, and his eyes went a bit glassy as his brain caught up with it. The second it did, he bit his lip.

You wanted to bite him.

"Kurt."

"Yeah," he answered, blind to the presence of any question as his hand sped up. Slick sounds filled the air between you both. His jaw tensed. You felt yourself — and your hand — grow a little desperate.

"Kurt, I'm gonna' cum."

"Fuck y-yeah, babe. Do it. All over me."

The wild part was, you would've had you been there.

Your orgasm hit you like a mack truck. Intense pleasure coursed through you, jolting you as you cried out in a broken moan. On the other side of the phone, Kurt's hit him just the same. He let out a positively lovely moan, one that hit a sharp crescendo and then lingered through a litany of curses the longer his hand remained on himself. When it came off, one final stroke doing him in, Kurt simply let his hand fall to the side on his sheet, spent.

Your eyes fluttered open then.

The first thing you noticed was Kurt's face.

He was so flushed. So flushed, yet completely painted with this look of pure, dumb joy masked only by his exhaustion. Not only that, but his eyes were so glassy. So glassy and glittering and staring right back at you like no one had ever really looked at you before. There was something real there, you noticed. Something like adoration. It sort of scared you. It sort of also made you feel really warm and giddy.

You giggled.

"Holy shit."

Kurt smirked. That motherfucker was proud.

"Sickest collab ever," he drawled, making it known in his own slightly cringe internet personality way. You felt a little heady with how gravely his voice came out, never thinking such a tone possible given Kurt's typical slightly whiny, every-day voice. It made you long to kiss him, just a little. "You, uh, you came, right?"

You giggled again, nodding for him. Kurt's entire face lit up.

"Wow, man."

"Oh, so I'm 'man' now? What happened to babe?"

Kurt had the mind to look a little guilty at that, tickling you. Giggling some more, you leaned forward and let your head fall down between your legs. Face hid, you shook your head a little in disbelief at what had just taken place. When you finally sat back up, Kurt's big brown eyes stared back at you as if he was thinking the same.

You cleared your throat.

"That, um. That was fun. Thank you for, uh, indulging me a bit there."

"No, thank you," Kurt replied in seconds, dead serious. "Thank you times a thousand. I-I don't think I can even begin to repay you. I-I mean, like, anything you want, anything, just name it and it's yours from here on out. You know, aside from giving you the channel, but like anything else's yours. You're the top Kurtie from here on out."

You blushed. "I don't need your channel, Kurt. Or anything, really. You don't owe me."

"But-"

"How about this," you told him then, cutting him off with a sweet glance, "you promise me that we'll get to do that again. This won't be the only time. Does that sound like a fair trade?"

Kurt all but scoffed. "Not at all. I'm the one who benefits from that, not you." His faced screwed up. "Not that I'm not, ya' know, desirable as an internet figure, but-"

"I meant it about you being hot," you reminded him, tilting your head and batting your eyes a little to really hold his attention. "I promise you, I'd be having just as much fun as you, if not more."

"You sure?"

"Did you hear that mouth of yours, Kurt? I promise, I'll be fine."

Kurt blushed, deeply. He cleared his throat, seeking a pivot.

"I still think you deserve more. But, uh, I guess I can do some digging before next time for some way I can repay you. I'll uh, practice a little for you, too."

You grinned. "See what I mean? I'll be fine. And I'll look forward to it."

"I will too, {Y/N}. Seriously, best collab ever. I won't forget this."

"Same. Um, goodnight, Kurt."

One last twinkle in his eye, Kurt stared you down and delivered an impossibly soft, practically adorable, "Goodnight, beautiful."

The phone went dark then, reflecting just you and the remnants of what you did in the faint hue of the camera. Blinking, you sat there for a moment thinking about it. Thinking about Kurt, about the situation and how far you went for him just because of some silly little crush. Reminiscing over his lips, his eyes, his scratchy voice.

And then, you saw your phone light up with something else. A singular text from an unsaved number, flashed back at you. Reaching for it, you unlocked it and ran to read.

"Hey hey hey, Kurt from Kurt's World here with a goodnight text! 🌙 I can't wait to talk and collab with you again. You've rocked my world in more ways than one. Hit me up whenevs. Hope I see you 🔜💖😎"

You snorted. Then smiled. Then loved the message.

Maybe hot strangers weren't so bad.

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