i knew that there was a reason why i could relate so much to kurt cobain, hes also bpd, and im glad that he found his soulmate, i wish i could meet you guys :( i dont know anyone whos also borderline. And a question, is a relashionship with two borderlines difficult? -n
yap! we both areee. aww! thanks. that would be nice to meet more nice people. thats like…our goal, lol. we want to meet more nice people and be friends with them as a couple. more nice people. ugh. there aren’t enough nice people in our world rn. uhm, difficult…yes. worth it for me though? yes. it takes a lot, a lot of communication. most of our arguments come from the fact that we have BPD and sometimes we aren’t the best at communicating. so, we’re slowly trying to get better and better at it.
you also have to master…letting them take care of you but also taking care of them as well. so if one person is feeling off that day that person takes care of them and vice versa. i think this link here sums up what its like to be in a relationship where both parties are mentally ill. its not easy but who is going to understand you as much as this person?
plus (and you most likely know this) people with BPD feel everything intensely and fiercely sooo we love like that too and i love that. his feelings and how he feels about me etc is very very in tune with how i feel and he understands why i feel certain things etc. i don’t have to tell him why. and i feel like we know each other’s vulnerabilities and soft spots more and know each other more inside out then maybe other couples? because we have to. ahah.
just in case we hurt each others feelings on accident etc. but its tough, touuugh when i split on him. because it happens. and i hate it. but i can’t really stop it? so what i do instead is tell him that i am splitting and when i split, i ice people out. i turn really cold and don’t wanna talk to them. but i always have to like stop myself from wanting to like…cut him out of my life completely because those feelings come up a lot when i split on him.
its fucking touugh, man. that stuff is tough but the bright side is that he knows why i am feeling it. he knows i can’t stop it. he knows its my brain etc etc. i just personally hate it because i don’t like feeling that way towards him and i feel like i have to white knuckle not telling him i don’t want to be with him anymore etc. BPD is no walk in the park, but i manage is day by day like anyone else does. and we manage it day by day like anyone else does. so, is it easy to be in a relationship where both parties are mentally ill? no, i won’t lie and say it is. is it impossible? no. is it absolutely rewarding? and comforting? and very intimate? yesss.
-Christy
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‘It’s a lot of work and…….working against ourselves. It’s like wearing a boulder and the boulder is like..your weight in that relationship. It’s huge but rewarding. You have to deal with a person or be around someone where trust isn’t easy with them or for you. You’ll hate each other and fight a lot and it’ll just be…chaos. It won’t be safe..and your emotions will be on .. all .. the time. You’ll say mean things you don’t mean, you’ll get into fights. Sometimes simple conversations will be impossible because all of the latent baggage. Like ‘what did she mean?’ / ‘what did he mean?’ And it’ll suck. You’ll have to do a lot of apologizing and it’s just…messy. It’s messy and it’s intimate but it’s also like a warm blanket. They’ll know when you’re just pushing them away, they’ll know you’re complicated. Know you’re fibbing; know you’re lying to yourself. It’s dangerous and carnivorous. You’ll have to really make sure you don’t accidentally reject them. It’s difficult and hard ended but also .. soft and..rear ended. I think it’s overall very loving and easy if you like difficult people…It’s nerve wracking and hateful and sincere. And you’ll get fed up with each other and it’ll seem impossible - but you’ll come to resolutions. You’ll learn from each other and you’ll overall feel more comfortable.
It’s lame :)’
-Kurt + Channeled by Kami