i feel like he’d be the type of partner that if you argue, he wants to sort it out then and there. but also wants to actually sort it out well, and if that means giving space before speaking again — that’s what he’ll do.
Oh definitely.
Kyle is quick to let the anger wash over him, come to terms with the shit he said. And he winces when you tell him to screw himself and storm off.
Like yes, he deserved it, but he‘a bit the idiot from five minutes ago. He’ll follow right behind, softly knocking on the door of your shared bedroom.
“Baby, can we talk?” or
“Sweetheart, ‘m sorry. I was a fuckin bloke wasn’t I?”
and when you tell him not to come in, he doesn’t. Just tell’s you, “I’ll be here when you’re ready.” Takes an hour or two, maybe three. Whatever it takes to get into your space again.
He’ll be kneeling in front of you, both of your hands in his as you sit on the bed, “ ‘M sorry sweetheart, I shouldn’t have said that. I should’ve just talked to you, yeah?”
You mumbled, “Yeah… And I’m sorry too. I was being mean. If I do something you don’t like just say it. Or if you get annoyed with me I can- I can-“
“—Babyyy,” he draws out, rubbing your hands with his thumbs, “I could never get annoyed with you. I love you.”
Kyle is a master communicator, to the point he’s helped you get good at it yourself. You both know when to say sorry so it can truly reach the other.
The night if filled with cuddling and light kisses, your favorite movie turned on. All about reassurance that he’s there for you and you’re there for him.
Kyle and you are now in a relationship, much to the dismay of Zoe and Madison, but they keep their distance. Kyle has a bad memory, so you comfort him, and let him know it's alright to feel that way.
I recommend listening to "We'll Never Have Sex" while reading. It inspired me to write this.
Your perspective
⊹˚.⋆ ₊꒷ᘏᘏ︶ଓ︶꒷꒦⊹˚ᗢ₊꒷︶ଓ︶꒷
"They did what to him?" I sat there, mouth agape as Queenie told me what happened to Kyle when Zoe and Madison first brought him back.
"Yeah. Honestly, I'm glad you came along. You taught Kyle way better than they did."
"I can hear you, you know?" Madison grumbled, walking past us. I innocently sipped my coffee, like I did not gossip about her at all. When Queenie was about to talk again, a buzz went off on my phone.
| Angel Boy ❤️ |
- Cuddle? Worry.
| Me |
- of course angel. I'll be right up with some food x ❤️
"Kyle okay?"
"He's a bit worried about something, I'll be back." I quickly picked up the coffee mug, and a bag of sweets next to me, and jogged up the stairs into my own room. Kyle was curled up in the bed, silently sobbing and hiding his face. I put everything down, then lay by him, gently pulling one of his hands away.
"Y/N.."
"I'm here my sweet boy. Shh shh, what's wrong?" I held him close, and he eventually wrapped his arms around me, nuzzling into my neck.
"Mem...memory." Kyle stopped sobbing but I could tell he wanted to cry.
"Oh, my angel. It's alright. No one will ever hurt you like that. Ever again."
I kept Kyle in my arms for a while, cuddling him close, and letting him cry, sob, or whatever he felt like he was feeling.
The evening turned to night quickly, and Kyle was asleep. I kissed his forehead, but he woke up in a panic. "No...no! Go away..!"
"Kyle! Sweets, it's me..it's Y/N. It's me." He was scrambled in the corner of the bed, I stayed on the bed but on the other side, crossing my legs. He looked like a lost, scared puppy, unable to find control in the chaos. He looked up at me again, a scared wonder in his eyes. All I wanted to do was hold him and praise him for being so brave. My scared, sweet boy. I opened my arms, and let him decide what to do.
He slowly crawled into my arms and snuggled back into me. "I'm sorry my darling...can you tell me where I can touch you?"
"Cuddles only. Maybe kiss."
"Of course. Let's watch Adventure Time for a bit yeah?" Kyle nodded and we adjusted ourselves, so he was laying on top of me, with the laptop on his own lap. "I love you Kyle, I'll do whatever so you're comfortable."
Have had this thought for awhile now, and really figured Gaz could use some love on this blog. Such a beautiful man and character in the series. Generally I like the rugged and rough men (daddy issues anyone?) but Gaz is just so lovely to look at.
Nerves boiling and shot, hot and bothered. Home had called and your mother was ill. Normally, you would drive back home but with your mother being sick there was urgency to get there.
That left flying. How you hated flying. This isn't your first time (more like 6th), but it sure feels just like it. There was something about the take off and the landing that terrified you. Maybe it was the turbulence, maybe it was the feeling of your organs being pushed back into the seat past your spine.
The surreal feeling had not hit you yet that you were going to have to board soon. Instead, you tried to focus on the many shops in the airport, avoiding food or drink as much as your stomach requested it. You knew you would pay for it later if you gave in.
Impending doom was the best way to describe it. Building up like a volcano, ready to erupt. Each step by step, boarding the plane. Watching your feet, like the floor could give out at any moment. This a trap, it has to be a trap. You were doing this for your mother, you had to get home to your mother.
You were fighting a battle inside. Two voices yelling at little ol' you. Still you did your best to function, stepping through the plane door. Nodding to the flight attendant with a crooked smile, pushing through this.
Placing baggage in the up above cubby, you sat in your seat and looked down at the floor, thumbs twiddling together. You never noticed that the seat next to you was soon filled. You just needed to focus on yourself. The flight attendant's voice not loud enough to drown any of your worries out as she explained what to do if the plane crashed. Better yet, just ignore her all together.
"You alright there?" A gentle and smooth voice asked next to.
Looking up, you saw a beautiful specimen of a man next to you. Tall, skin so wonderfully bronzed with toned muscles. Eyes bright in contrast with a set of full lips.
Great, just great. Not only were you now on the plane having a full panic attack, you were now on the plane having a full panic attack next to a man that looked like a Greek God.
Fan-fucking-tastic.
"Just hate flying." Your voice quiet meek, barely there.
"I understand that," he said with a smile and a sarcastic chuckle.
"I don't generally fly alone, I normally have someone with me and I can hold on to them."
Without hesitation, he lifted his arm out to you offering his bicep.
"Can hold on to me." Warm, sweet and kind.
Carefully, you took it, both hands wrapped around his arm.
"Thank you," you tried to smile at him.
"It's alright love," the hand from the arm you were holding squeezing your knee.
About halfway down the runway you heard the engines kick on, a heavy sigh leaving you while he squeezed your knee tighter.
"Its ok," he said again. Squeezing your eyes you hunched forward slightly. He adjusted using his arm to push you back into the seat worried the turbulence would be uncomfortable for you.
"You know i fell out of a helicopter one time."
Who starts off a story like that you?
"What?" you asked wanting him to repeat himself not sure you had heard him right.
"Fell out of a helicopter, was dangling from in with a rope." 'His free hand animated in a motion like you would use... you know life if you fell out of a fucking helicopter.
"Like a skydiving accident or something?" you asked trying to understand why.
Unknown he couldn't fully tell you why he limited his answer to. "Yeah, you could say that. What I'm trying to tell you, if I can fall out of a helicopter and still be alive, I'm going to make sure you live through this flight... alright?"
It made you laugh slightly, smiling and and nod back to him.
"Ok... Thank you...?" you said in a way asking for his name.
"Kyle."
"Thank you, Kyle."
The entire conversation had distracted you long enough to get up into the air without realizing it until you looked out the window. The city underneath you and clouds beside you.
"Can you shut the shade for me? I don't like looking out the window."
You shut the window upon his request, understanding why he would ask such a thing. Where is the irony of two people afraid of flying sitting next to each other on a plane? Better yet, what are the odds of them helping each other?
Warnings: talks of periods? Kyle buys you pads lmao. That's the plot.
Taglist: @taintandviolent (comment if you'd like to be added!)
....................
Excruciating pain was all you could feel. It left you doubled over, rolled in a tight ball and rocking around in agony. Your arms squeezed your abdomen tightly, short-lived waves of relief feeling like the holy grail before your ovaries once again continued their monthly, almost murderous routine. It was as if a knife had been stabbing you aggressively from the inside. The pain- along with other symptoms of inconvenience, such as headaches and nausea, had made you an uncrossable force not to be reckoned with. Being in far too much anguish to move, you'd sent Kyle to assist you.
Kyle deeply considered himself a gentleman. He'd do just about anything for his little lady. But when given the task of fetching you menstrual products, the job was perplexing - to say the least. Not only did he not have any deep knowledge about the use of these products, but he also had no idea where to find them. You'd told him to grab pads. After a painful amount of time scanning through the aisles of the nearest grocery store, refusing to ask for any help, he'd finally found the brightly lit women's care section. Before he entered, he did a quick loop around, making sure no one was close enough to see him enter. He felt a bit flustered being near the products in plain sight.
Finally, he'd made it in. His eyes scanned over the very large selection organized across the shelves. From what he'd gathered by looking at them, there were seemingly infinite options. The variety amazed him, really. The pads alone had so many sizes, but then there were just as many tampons up for selection. His hand trailed across the shelves, noticing a small box with bright purple packaging. The label read "menstrual cup", he'd flipped around the small cardboard box with curiosity. His eyebrow cocked up quizzically after seeing the product. Kyle's mind raced with endless questions. How did that even stay in there? Why would someone leave that inside of them? Did it hurt? Fairly astonished, he set the box back in its rightful place and made a mental note to ask you about that later. Regaining his original focus, he went back to the task at hand. He needed pads, right. He looked back at the intimidating selection, attempting to choose the best option.
He tried his hardest. He really did. But he truly had no clue what he was getting into when he accepted your request. He picked up one smaller package that seemed to lay in the middle flow-wise, gathering that it was the safest option. Kyle looked at the price tag from where it sat. Almost ten fucking dollars? For a medical necessity? His eyes widened like saucers, disturbed by the ridiculous cost of just a fancy cotton ball. He'd finally felt a small ounce of feminine rage and frustration over these matters. It was outrageous. Even the ones that weren't name brands were ridiculous. And the large packages for people with heavy flows? Screw that. Kyle gathered that if he had a period, at this rate, he'd shove a washcloth down there and call it a day.
His head snapped over, alarmed at the sound of a shopping cart. A mother had walked into the aisle with him. She had a small child in her cart as she browsed the selection. She looked at the prices, comparing them with her pointer finger whilst letting out a defeated sigh. Kyle understood, watching her try and look through the cheaper generic brands at the bottom. He still felt unsure about his choice. Putting all embarrassment aside, he got her attention.
"Is this stuff good? I'm here for my girlfriend." He showed her the pads he selected, desperate for help of some kind. She smiled kindly at him, nodding her head. "Yes, they don't have wings, though. You may want to ask her if that's what she prefers?" His brows furrow, he continues to grow confused over yet another technicality.
"What are wings?" He politely asks her. She giggles, pointing at another products photo. She gives a brief explanation, telling him about the benefits. Gratefully, he nods, grabbing that one as well. Just in case.
When he greeted you at his return to your shared apartment, just seeing you bundled up filled him with an immense amount of guilt. Not only did you have to deal with these ridiculous prices, but you were suffering. He set the bag next to you, pulling your exhausted form into his arms. You greeted him happily, pulling him into a tight embrace.
"How do you feel?" He inquires, rubbing small circles into the small of your back. You took a deep breath, soaking in his warmth. "Better, the cramps are starting to fade since I took my medicine. Were you able to find the pads?" He gives you a small smile, nodding his head in response. "A really nice woman helped me pick some out." You laughed, shaking your head at the thought of him getting advice on periods from a complete stranger. He found you precious, looking absolutely beautiful, snuggled into his chest. His fingers twirled through your hair and brushed your soft locs. Kyle, in that moment, vowed to always be as understanding and sympathetic towards you and any woman who complained about their monthly. He felt disgusted from his lack of knowledge alone.
He tapped your shoulder, silently asking you to face him. You hummed, eyes catching his own. "I have a question." He placed a kiss to your brow. You tilted your head, ready to answer whatever it was.
SUMMARY: During a study date with Kyle, your mother decided it was the best moment to make some nasty comments about you, and Kyle wasn’t happy at all.
GENRE: Angst, fluff, comfort.
WARNINGS: Hint of physical abuse, emotionally abusive parent.
WORD COUNT: 1k words
“Oh well, look at this!” you froze after hearing your mother’s voice. She wasn’t supposed to arrive at your house until 9 pm. You turned around and saw her. You could tell she was mad, but she was hiding it. You did tell her you were going to study with a friend. But you never told her it was going to be with Kyle. Your mother always thought Kyle was one of the many factors for you not having good grades. She thinks having a boyfriend is a waste of time. Kyle wasn’t your boyfriend, or well, that’s what she thought. You and Kyle were together, but in secret since, well, your mother wasn’t a big fan of the idea of you dating someone. You and Kyle decided to keep it a secret.
“Hi, Ms. Y/L/N,” Kyle said, trying to be polite.
“Well, I didn’t know it was you who she was going to study with today… Anyways, at least I know she’s actually studying, you know, someone as empty-headed and slow as my daughter needs help sometimes,” she said while looking at you. You only sigh.
“She’s actually pretty smart, Ms. Y/L/N,” Kyle said while staring directly into your mother’s eyes.
“Oh please, Kyle, you don’t have to lie only because you have a thing for my daughter. She’s so stupid. I’m actually impressed she managed to pass first grade,” she started to laugh. She was so… Mean. “And well, I just want to ask you. Kyle, you are actually a smart kid. I know you are at the top of your class, so why want to be with someone as slow-witted as my daughter?”
“Are you kidding me, Mom?” you whispered. She hit you on the head with the palm of her hand.
“Am I lying?” your mom was starting to get angry.
“Mom, can we please, not do this right now?”
“Why? You don’t want your little friend to know how stupid you are?” she chuckled.
“Mom, please”
“What? I’m only telling the truth. You’re so fucking dumb. Kyle deserves someone with more brain cells than you” You felt yourself starting to tear up at the comments. Of course, she wouldn’t keep her remarks even if you have visitors. Kyle was seeing your reaction, and he wanted to shut up your mom so badly. He knew sometimes your mom could be mean, only imagining how harsh her comments were. But this was a whole different level from what he was expecting. Kyle was ready to say something back until he saw you, and you only shook your head. Making him just stay in silence.
“Mom, don’t you have things to do?” you managed to say without your voice breaking.
“You know what? You’re right. I have better things to do than to be here with you trying to explain things your brain wouldn’t understand” With that comment, your mother left the living room and also your house. You heard the front door close, and that’s when you broke down. You hide your face in your hands, and all the anger and hurt start to get out of you. You couldn’t believe she said all those things in front of Kyle. She would normally wait until the two of you were alone, but she decided to do it in front of someone this time. Kyle stood up and made his way next to you. The sounds of your crying were breaking his heart so much. You didn’t deserve any of those comments. You were nothing like your mother said. Kyle stood next to you and brought your head to him, playing with your head to help you calm down. He stayed like that for some minutes until you were calm. He knelt in front of you, and he started to clean your dry tears.
“So it’s always like this?” he asked.
“Yeah,” you let out a deep breath.
“Why you didn’t tell me, sweetheart?” you sighed. Sooner or later, he would’ve found out, and apparently, it was sooner than you expected.
“I just didn’t want you to worry. Kyle, you have so many things in your life right now, and I just didn’t want to be a burden” You cleaned the new tears that were starting to fall on your cheeks with your sweatshirt sleeve.
“You will never be a burden, sweetheart” he started to caress your cheek, and you melted with his touch. “It’s not the first time those types of comments come out of her, right?”
“Every time we are in exam season, she repeats them. It’s like that’s the only thing she knows. But I don’t know, Kyle, am I actually stupid?”
“What?! No! I won’t let you think that. You are not stupid, Y/n” You looked directly into his eyes.
“It’s hard to not start believing those things. There must be a reason she’s saying all those things, Kyle.”
“No, Y/n, you cannot let her get into your head. Listen, sweetheart, you are one wonderful and intelligent person. Your grades aren’t bad at all. I mean, they are way better than Stan’s.”
“I know, it’s just… she just wants them to be perfect, and if I don’t do like she expects… Well, you were able to see how she thinks.” you sighed. “I mean, I know I’m not as smart as you, but I’m not bad at school. Yeah, sometimes it’s a little too hard, but I still manage to be good.”
“Exactly. Look, I know sometimes parents can be, well, hard to handle, especially since they think they know it all. But believe me, baby, they can be wrong. Being an adult doesn’t mean they know everything in the world. So don’t let her comment get to you. And as far as I’m aware, you are doing better than her when she was in high school, right?” you chuckled.
“Yeah, you’re not wrong.”
“Prove to her you’re nothing like she says. And when you do, I’ll be the first one to shove it up on her face,” you and Kyle laughed. He kissed you on the cheek and returned to his place to continue studying.
you deserve all the compliments! prompt: how about physically hurt alex? kyle is cursing the airman for putting himself in danger while doctoring him? "what were you thinking? I just got you back and you go on a alien mission ALONE? you should've fucking called me!"
***
Alex tilted his head against the pillow, glancing every so often at Kyle who was working on bandaging him up with an intense focus. He felt Kyle’s warm fingers graze his stomach, his hand pressed lightly against Alex’s chest as he laid him down, his arm behind Alex’s neck, helping to keep his head up as he applied ointment to the wound – and something about it all made him want to laugh.
Instead, he sighed and leaned his head back on the pillow. “Say it.”
“Say what?” Kyle asked, though his expression was no less tense, his shoulders no less straight, his muscles no less flexed.
“Whatever you want,” Alex said, covering his eyes with his forearm, trying to ignore the sting in his side. “I’m listening.”
There was a moment of silence, then, “Okay,” Kyle said, his voice strained. Alex took a deep breath, bracing himself, then—
“What the hell were you thinking? I thought we were supposed to be partners! How could you jump into this without telling me?!” Kyle raged on, his voice rising with every word.
Alex lowered his arm after a moment to find Kyle glaring at him. “That it?”
“Give me a minute,” he said darkly, returning to check on Alex’s bandages. Alex scoffed, and Kyle looked up. “You think this is funny?” Alex said nothing, and Kyle stood. “You think this is funny.”
“No, no, I just—” Alex huffed a chuckle, and immediately winced. He breathed heavily, stretching out slowly. “I’m sorry, I just – I’ve never seen you so worried about me.”
“And that’s funny to you?”
Alex burst out into breathy fits of giggles. “Apparently – ow, ow, ow.”
“Serves you right,” Kyle muttered, but he fixed another pillow under Alex’s head.
“You wanted a hospital,” Alex said, wincing, “I’m here.”
“You shouldn’t have had to come here at all,” Kyle said.
“Kyle, stop,” Alex said, moving his hand away. “I’m fine.”
Kyle stepped back, his fists tight at his side as if he was barely keeping himself from touching Alex again. Alex wondered when he would change into his doctor’s coat. After having seen Alex’s state, he had driven him to the hospital and put him in a bed without ever changing. The airman wondered if that was even allowed.
“I hate this,” Kyle said, leaning against the wall, his arms crossed tightly. “I hate that you went without me.”
“You hate that I’m the only one injured?”
“Yes,” he snapped. “God, Alex, you still don’t get it.” He came to tower over Alex, his hands on the bed. Alex didn’t know why he was suddenly nervous, his heart racing. Maybe it was a reaction to the medication.
“You could’ve died, do you understand that?”
“It’s been days,” Alex noted. “Have you slept at all?”
“Are you even listening to me?”
“Kyle, I’m fine,” he sighed. “Better I end up in here than the both of us. At least no one found out you were in on Project Shepherd, too.”
“So that’s your brilliant conclusion? That everything’s okay because you would’ve been the only one who died?”
“I didn’t die.”
“You could have, Alex, and you don’t even care!”
“Kyle, I’m military, remember?”
“Why are you so calm about this?!”
“You’re the doctor, shouldn’t you be the calm one right now?”
“I almost lost you!” Kyle snapped, and Alex turned to look at him with furrowed brows. “You’re – you’re my…” He sighed, and slumped down in the chair next to Alex’s bed. “I almost lost you, Alex.”
Alex stared for a moment, then looked to the ceiling. “You didn’t. I’m fine.”
“Alex,” Kyle started, and Alex had the feeling there was something he really wanted to say, but after a pause, he shook his head. “Never mind.”
“What?”
“Nothing,” he said, leaning back in his chair and rubbing his eyes. “You wouldn’t listen away.”
Alex considered this, then, “I’m sorry I laughed.”
Kyle brought his hand down, watching Alex. Alex ignored the goosebumps forming along his arms at the doctor’s eyes on him. Should he mention it to Kyle? Maybe there was some kind of pill he could take.
“I just don’t get it, Alex. I know how you think, and this didn’t make any sense.”
“You know how I think,” Alex repeated under his breath. He didn’t know if he liked or hated having Kyle in his head.
“I know you like to do things alone, but that was always about wanting to protect everyone,” Kyle crossed his arms, “but lately, it’s like you’ve been trying to get yourself killed.”
“And that’s a bad thing?”
A pause, then, “Is this about Guerin?” Alex tried not to wince. “You don’t have anything to prove to him, Alex.”
“I know,” Alex said.
“Do you? Because you used to be smarter than this. You used to actually care about—”
“Well, maybe I cared too much!” Alex snapped, and Kyle blinked, falling silent. “My entire life, that’s all I’ve done, is care. I cared what my dad thought of me, I cared what my brothers said, I cared about Maria and Liz, I cared about Michael, and now they’re all gone! Everyone is – ah—”
Alex winced loudly, his hand over his side. Kyle was beside him in an instant, guiding him back down, his hand over Alex’s. “Everyone’s gone,” Alex breathed as Kyle helped him settle in.
“I’m not gone,” Kyle said, and Alex blinked.
“What?”
Kyle sat back down in his chair, and leaned forward. “I’m not gone, Alex. I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere. Isn’t one person, someone who you know – someone who cares about you… isn’t that enough?”
Alex clenched his jaw and looked away. “I don’t want to care anymore. If you’re all I have, then—”
“Then we care about each other,” Kyle finished. “Then we fight together.” He shrugged a shoulder. “That’s how we work, Manes.”
Alex’s brows furrowed. There it was again. Manes. Alex had never heard his family name said with anything but disdain, and yet Kyle always said it as if it was something precious, something valued, something he loved. Even after Jesse had killed Jim Valenti, Kyle still protected Alex, still looked after him, and he was still willing to walk into danger with him.
“Why?” Alex whispered. “You know what my dad’s done.”
“Alex,” Kyle breathed, the look on his face genuinely confused as he shook his head. “What does any of that have to do with you?”
Anything else Alex was going to say disappeared, his thoughts turned quiet. He still remembered Michael’s face, the way his eyes had followed Alex as if wary of him, the way he’d looked at Alex like the airman had been personally responsible for every miserable thing that had ever happened in his life, and all this time, Alex had thought Michael was right for treating him like the same criminal his father was. But now, at Kyle’s question, he found his mind a blank. What does it have to do with you?
Alex didn’t know.
“I’m sorry I got mad at you for laughing,” Kyle said, leaning back in his chair with a sigh.
Alex shook his head, the corner of his lips rising in a half-smile. “I shouldn’t have left you behind.”
“No, you shouldn’t have,” Kyle said, and they both chuckled tiredly.
“I think the medication’s getting to my head,” Alex said, rubbing his face.
“You should get some rest.”
“So should you.”
Kyle pressed his lips together and looked to the clock on the wall. It was past midnight. Then he looked back at Alex, and said, “Later.”
“What, are you planning on watching me sleep?”
Kyle crossed his legs, seemingly trying to get comfortable. “Part of the curse, I guess.”
“What curse?”
“Caring,” he said.
Alex watched as Kyle took his own jacket off and blanketed himself with it. As he adjusted his position, Alex felt his heart hammering again, and he found that he couldn’t think of Liz, or Maria, or even Michael – but of Kyle.
He put a hand over his heart, his fingers digging into his chest, and turned his face away to hide the blush that had spread to his cheeks. “Yeah,” he said, barely over a whisper. “I guess it is.”
***
I did say I had a few fics left before my hiatus!
Thank you so much for this prompt, I sincerely hope you enjoyed reading! 💞
SUMMARY: Remembering can be bittersweet, and each and one of them have been since you were little. That doesn’t mean all the memories are joyful. But in the end, you were enchanted to meet them.
GENRE: Angst, Fluff.
WARNINGS: Swearing, mention of eating disorders, depression, panic attacks, bullying (if you squint).
WORD COUNT: 5.3k words
PART: 2.1 (series masterlist)
3rd Grade
“This is our first year together, right?” you turned your gaze to the redhead boy who sat down next to you. You were waiting for one of your friends to arrive, or well, you were expecting him to be in the same class as you.
“Yeah. You’re Kyle, right?” you asked him. Even if you were in different classes, you knew who he was since it was easy to hear the girls in your class and his class talk about the cute redhead boy all the time.
“And you must be Y/n. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”
“You know who am I?”
“Well, last year I was in the same class as Kenny, who I know is your best friend. He just couldn’t stop talking about this fantastic friend he has.” you smiled.
“Yeah, he is my best friend. I hope he didn’t say anything bad tho. I’d punch him if he did.”
“Don’t worry. He didn’t. But I wished he at least mentioned you were cute” You hid your face in your hands. You felt your heart’s pace get quicker. You turned your head to Kyle.
“I think you are cute too.”
“It’s recess time. You’re supposed to be eating” Kyle sat beside you on the ground.
“I forgot my lunch,” you sighed. “And well, I’m not really fond of the idea of eating a ham sandwich again for the 100th time.”
“You are telling me all these days I’ve seen you eat a sandwich. It has been a ham sandwich every time?” You nodded, and Kyle was shocked. He always thought there were variations of it. “You’re kidding.”
“I wish I was. It’s just I know my mom tries hard to prepare me something for lunch, but I actually wish I could have something more for lunch. Or at least that the sandwich had more than just ham. I saw one picture where a sandwich had lettuce and tomatoes. That would be nice.”
“So it’s literally two slices of bread with a slice of ham in the middle?”
“Yeah.”
“You know what? I’m not letting that continue. Here have half of my lunch” Kyle gave you 4 pieces out of the 8 nuggets his mom sent him for lunch. “I’ll tell my mom to pack an extra portion from now on.”
“Kyle, I can’t accept, look, I can tell my mom to give me money for lunch,” you lied to him. You knew pretty well your mom wouldn’t give you money since she thought you would spend it on something else.”
“I won’t take no for an answer. We can give your sandwich to pigeons or another animal so it wouldn’t go to waste, but I’m not letting you keep eating only that. You need proper food at this age.” you sighed. You looked at Kyle directly into his eyes. He wasn’t going to take no for an answer.
“Fine, but let me repay you in some way.”
“I’ll think about it.”
4th Grade
“Are you gonna tell me what happened?” you turned around to where the voice was coming from. Kyle was standing behind you.
“What do you mean?” you were finishing packing up your stuff, ready to go home, when Kyle stopped you before leaving the classroom.
“Don’t try to hide it from me. I can see it in your face. Something happened last Christmas, and you haven’t been the same. I tried to not bother you for the past months, but you’re not the same” Kyle was able to see how you were trying to come up with something, but he knew he wasn’t going to get any information from you. “Just, I want you to know that if you ever need anything, you can count on me, Y/n.”
Kyle was ready to leave the classroom when you grabbed his wrist and pulled him in for a hug. The first hug the two of you shared. Kyle hugged you back, and he realized you had started crying. He didn’t know what to say next, but he knew something. He hated seeing you like this, making his heart break into a million pieces. You didn’t say anything at all. You stayed like that for what felt like an eternity until you could calm yourself. You really wanted to say something about what happened to you to Kyle, but it was way too personal.
“Thanks, Kyle. Maybe one day I’ll tell you, ok?” Kyle only nodded and kissed your wet cheek.
“What are you still doing here, Y/n? I thought you always leave with Kenny” Kyle saw you standing at the school’s entrance as if you were waiting for someone, no, for something to leave the school.
“Yeah, well, he wasn’t feeling good today and left early. His mom picked him up.”
“And why are you still here? It’s been 20 minutes since everyone has left.”
“I can ask you the same, Kyle.”
“Well, I needed some help from Mr. Garrison for my project, so I stayed behind. And you?” Kyle was looking at you, and you hid your face in your hands. He smiled.
“Promise not to laugh.” You handed out your left hand to him with your pinky out while your right hand was still covering your face. Kyle linked his pinky with yours.
“I promise” For the first time since he found you, you were able to look at him in the eyes.
“It’s just that… Agh, this is so embarrassing. But I haven’t been by myself in the streets ever. And I know my house is just a couple blocks away, but I’m scared. My parents always came for me until the beginning of this year, and that’s when Kenny offered to walk me to my house every day. But today he’s sick, so this will be the first time I’m walking alone….” Kyle didn’t laugh as you expected, but he was smiling. He felt his heart flutter. You were just way too pure.
“I understand, but you know you can’t stay here forever.”
“It’s been only 20 minutes Kyle. I’m just waiting for the courage to come to me. I’m a big girl now,” you answered back.
“Oh well, I was going to offer to walk you home, but since you are a big girl, you can do it by yourself” Kyle started to walk outside the school when he felt your hands grab his arm. Kyle couldn’t help but smirk.
“WAIT! Since you’re offering, how can I say no to you, my dearest friend!” Kyle could see your relieved semblance. He noticed one of your hands never left his arm. Actually, he was able to feel your hand slowly making its way to his hand until you were holding hands. Kyle looked at you and then at your hands which were now intertwined. You looked at him with questioning eyes until you realized what you were doing.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. It’s just that I’m just so used to holding Kenny’s hand.” you were trying to let go of Kyle’s hand, but his grip was stronger.
“I’m not gonna let you go. I like it. You started it. Now commit to it.” You laughed and stopped trying to let go of him.
“If Kenny’s not able to walk you home, tell me. I will love to do it, ok?”
“Ok.”
5th Grade
“So you won’t believe who I saw crying outside Mr. Mackey’s office,” Wendy said to Red and Bebe.
“Omg, who?” Kyle rolled his eyes after hearing the girls gossiping once again when they should be helping him, and Kenny prepare the next project Mr. Garrison assigned.
“Y/n,” Kyle and Kenny froze. “She was literally bawling; she-”
“When?” before she could finish the sentence, Kyle interrupted her.
“A few moments ago. Why do you-” Kenny and Kyle didn’t even wait for her to finish when they made their way to Mr. Garrison. He was reading something on his phone, not even bothering if his students were working on their projects at all.
“Mr. Garrison, can we leave for a few minutes, please?” Kenny asked him. Kyle was able to see his nervousness.
“And why would I let you do that, Kenny?” Mr. Garrison turned his gaze to the two boys standing in front of him.
“A friend of ours, Y/n, we heard she’s not feeling right, and we want to make sure she’s ok. I promise we will return as soon as we make sure she’s fine, please.” Kyle answered, and Mr. Garrison was able to see the two kids were anxious. He saw they were telling the truth and not only a lie to leave class without permission. Mr. Garrison handed them the hall pass.
“Don’t get distracted and come back after making sure she's ok.” Mr. Garrison returned his attention to his phone, and Kyle and Kenny quickly left the classroom.
Kyle and Kenny were running to Mr. Mackey’s office. Kyle felt his heart beating so hard. Something definitely happened to you if you were crying in public. The closer they were getting to the office, the more he felt his heart coming out of his chest.
They saw you sitting on one of the chairs that were outside the counselor’s office. Kyle could see Mr. Mackey was trying to calm you down, but you were still crying, and it didn’t seem you were stopping any time soon.
Kyle realized it wasn’t only crying. He could see your scared semblance. Kenny ran to you and knelt in front of you. Kyle got closer to Mr. Mackey and showed him the hall pass. Mr. Mackey just nodded and thought maybe your two friends would help better than him. He left the three of you to talk.
“Princess,” Kenny started to speak, trying to get your attention. Kyle saw the way you were holding your chest. You looked at Kenny and tried to talk, but it seemed that whenever you tried to speak, your breathing started to become more hectic than it already was. You were having a panic attack. Kyle saw Kenny also begin to cry, not knowing what was happening to you. That’s when Kyle stepped in.
“Hey, I need you to breathe with me, ok?” Kyle grabbed your attention and placed one hand over your hands that were still on your chest. You only nodded to him. He took one of your hands over his chest so you could feel his breathing. You slowly started to calm down, but the tears continued rolling out of your eyes. The two of you stayed like that until Kyle could see you were ok. Kyle smiled at you.
“You did great, sweetheart.” you only nodded.
“What are you doing here?” you asked them.
“We came as soon as we heard you were crying,” Kenny said, and you were able to see his puffy face.
“I didn’t want you to worry. I’m sorry” You almost started to cry again after realizing the two of them got worried because of you. Kenny knelt again in front of you and grabbed your face by the cheeks.
“Hey, hey, don’t you dare to think anything bad at this moment.” Kenny began cleaning your tears with his sweatshirt sleeve.
“Wanna talk about it?” Kyle asked you while he was tucking a strand of your hair in your ear. You shook your head, wanting anything but to remember the reason for your panic attack.
“Don’t you have to get back to class?” you asked worriedly. Your teacher knew you were with Mr. Mackey, but you knew they only had permission to leave for just a few moments since you could see the hall pass hanging from Kyle’s hand. Before they could answer you, Mr. Mackey came out of his office.
“You are better, Miss Y/L/N?” You nodded and gave your counselor a reassuring smile. “Then I believe you have to get to class, the three of you. If you need to talk, my door’s always open, kids.”
“Thanks, Mr. Mackey,” Kyle answered him, and the counselor returned to his usual spot in his office.
Kyle and Kenny were both grabbing your hands while walking back to your classroom. Having them by your side always made you feel at peace. When the three of you arrived at your classroom, Kenny kissed you on the cheek.
“We’re gonna talk later when school finishes, ok? Wait for me here.” Kenny moved away so Kyle could say goodbye to you.
“Just if you feel it’s going to start again, try breathing slowly, ok?” you nodded, and he gave you a sweet kiss on the forehead.
“Thank you, guys,” you whispered and entered your classroom. Kyle and Kenny let out a loud sigh. They may not have that much in common now, but they knew they would do anything for you.
6th Grade
Kyle saw you laying your head on your desk. He couldn’t quite see if you were just resting or if you actually fell asleep. He knows for a fact you haven’t been sleeping properly for quite some time now, so he doesn’t want to disturb you if you’re asleep.
He slowly made his way to the chair that was free next to you and sat down. Kyle could see your face better. You were definitely asleep. Your face was peaceful, and not a glimpse of stress was on it. You looked like an angel to him. Well, you always looked like one to him. Ever since he met you, he has thought you were way too perfect to be actually real.
“So pretty,” Kyle whispered.
Kyle was able to admit he was now in love with you. But unfortunately, he wasn’t going to be ever with you, all because of that stupid pact he made a few years ago with Stan and Kenny. He regretted that pact ever since he realized you were his everything.
He tucked a strain of hair that was covering your face in your ear. He tried to not wake you up, but of course, he managed to wake you up. You yawned and opened your eyes, trying to adjust your sight to the classroom’s light.
“I didn’t mean to wake you up, sweetheart. Sorry,” You didn’t care you woke you up, and most importantly, you didn’t mind if Kyle was the one who did it. You smiled at him.
“Don’t worry, I wasn’t fully asleep. I was just, you know, resting” You stretched out your arms and then grabbed one of Kyle’s hands, reassuring him it was ok.
“So… You think I’m pretty?” you asked the boy, and Kyle felt his cheeks burning.
“Yeah, I mean, you know you’re pretty, right?” You let out a laugh.
“Oh, so you just said it because you think I think I’m pretty?” you asked.
“No.” Kyle knew it was now or never. “I do think you are pretty. Really pretty.” you smiled at him.
“I think you’re pretty, too, Kyle. Really pretty.” Kyle wasn’t used to hearing compliments, so when he heard those words coming out from you, his heart was ready to come out of his chest.
Kyle slowly started to approach you. You could see his face getting closer and closer to yours, and you held your breath. Could this be it? Was Kyle gonna be your first kiss? Kyle grabbed your right cheek and stroked it with his thumb.
"Fuck the stupid pact!" Kyle thought. He was looking at your eyes and then at your lips, going back and forth, just wanting to make sure you enjoyed this as much as he did. You smiled at him. That was enough reassurance for him to keep going forward. Since he was getting closer, you were able to perceive his smell. Cinnamon and apple. He smelled sweet. Before he could actually kiss you, he stopped just mere inches away from you.
“Tell me if you want me to stop.”
“I don’t want you to stop.” He smiled. Your lips were almost touching…
“Y/n!” Kenny entered the classroom shouting and looking for you. You and Kyle pulled apart before Kenny could see the closeness between the two of you. When you turned your head to the door, you were able to see Kenny was making his way to you, and Stan was looking at Kyle with anger. You wanted to ask Kyle about it, but you decided to brush it off and ask Kenny what he needed.
“I forgot we had an exam today. Can you please, please, please help me?” Kenny was giving you puppy eyes. Kenny knew he interrupted one really important moment for you, so he knew he needed to be extra sweet and careful with you.
“I swear to god, Kenny, you are so... God, why do you have to be so inopportune?”
“But you love me.”
“Yeah, whatever. You owe me big time, McCormick” You turned your head to Kyle and muttered a “Sorry” to him. You stood up so you could follow Kenny, but before leaving, you turned around and went back to Kyle and kissed him quickly on the cheek. You didn’t give him a usual kiss tho. It was tender and sweet. Kyle smiled.
“Maybe another time,” you whispered in his ear and gave him another quick kiss on the cheek.
You were sure Kyle Broflovski was going to be your first kiss someday.
8th Grade
Kyle was nervous. He went away for one year. Not only because his dad decided to move to San Francisco due to work, but he was also an important factor in his father’s decision. He needed time to forget whatever feelings he had for you.
The last time he was at South Park, he got into a fight with Stan and Kenny since he wanted to break the pact where the three of them decided that none of them were going to be ever with you for the sake of their friendship. Still, at the end of the day, the two of them were the closest ones, so why did he have to be involved in that pact too?
Anyways, Kyle was sure those feelings were long forgotten in San Francisco. He was really sure if he saw you again, he wouldn’t feel anything at all. And then you entered the classroom. Kyle’s breathing got stuck in his lungs.
You were different. He was gone for a whole year, and you were completely different, at least in his eyes. He could see your face, your eyes seemed lost, but they still had that same light he fell in love with. Your hair was longer. Physically you were skinnier. That definitely was something that changed the most. And, of course, last but not least, your smile. You always managed to smile, but he saw it wasn’t as sincere as before.
Kyle couldn’t help but notice the person that was on your left side. Kenny. Of course, he was there with you, but that was also different this time. He seemed more alert. As if he was protecting something, in this case, you. His demeanor was scary. Kenny was able to see Kyle was in the classroom before you were able to notice him, so he covered your view so you wouldn’t see him. Kyle’s blood started to boil. Who does he think he is? It took all the strength Kyle had for him to not go up to Kenny and start a fight.
Your first teacher of the day came into the classroom and started to talk about what you were going to be learning during that school year when they noticed Kyle was back.
“Well, look who came back! I don’t think it is necessary to introduce you to your old classmates, am I right, Mr. Broflovski?”
The mention of Kyle’s last name grabbed your attention really fast. You turned your head to where your teacher was looking, and for the first time in what you felt were months, you actually smiled out of happiness. You locked eyes with Kyle, and your heart skipped out of your chest. He was indeed back.
Your Kyle was finally back after a year. At that moment, you couldn’t care less if he just left without anyone noticing. You were so happy he was back in town. You waved at him, and he mouthed a “Hi” to you and gave you the sweetest smile. Kyle was definitely not over you and doesn’t think he will ever be.
“You seem different, sweetheart” You turned around and saw Kyle, who was sitting down on the entrance stairs.
“What do you mean, Kyle?”
“I’m gonna be completely honest with you right now, and I really hope you don’t get offended, but since the first day of school, I realized you were different, as if you were a whole new person… Something happened while I was gone, didn’t it?” you sighed. You tend to forget Kyle was way too observant and way too smart. Of course he was going to notice your change of attitude and your physical change.
“I cannot hide anything from you, Kyle…” You were debating if it was actually a good idea to tell Kyle everything that happened over the year he was gone. In the end, Kyle was one of the people you could truly trust, or at least he used to be. “What do you want to know?”
“Tell me everything, Y/n,” you were preparing yourself mentally. You promised yourself you would never let Kyle see you in such a bad physical and mental state, but at this point, you needed help. The only people who know what has affected you in so many ways during the last year were Kenny and Bebe, but you were starting to feel you were such a burden. Maybe Kyle could help better.
“Well, a lot has happened since you were gone for over a year. First of all, it was unfortunate when I didn’t see you on the first day of 7th grade. I felt like a piece of me had been missing for over a year. You know how important you are to me, Kyle. I should’ve taken that as a sign that it would be such a horrible year,” you chuckled.
You tried to smile, but Kyle noticed all the pain you had collected over a year. He grabbed your hand, and you continued. “I really tried to at least give the best and tried to stay positive, but there were these comments going around of how I looked at that if I continued doing whatever I was doing and eating, I was going to end up being as big as a fucking pig. I really tried to not pay attention to those comments, but the fact that even my own family and parents were saying those types of comments really took a toll on me. I’m pretty sure you did notice that change, am I right, Kyle?” Kyle only nodded.
“And, of course, my parents. I mean, you may remember how they were, right? Well, now they are worse. They don’t really see me as their daughter but only as a machine that has to do everything perfectly. They don’t see me as a human being anymore. They also expect me to be perfect at school, but mentally I just can’t….” you didn’t realize when you started to cry. The tears were rolling down your cheeks. “I want them to love me, and I know that if I’m a good student, they will finally be proud of me and tell me they love me, but I just can’t seem to do school right. I’m just useless.”
You cleaned the tears with your sleeve. Kyle was surprised and sad at the same time. He could see that those negative feelings affected you way too much. He felt his heart sink into his chest. He wrapped one arm around you, and you leaned into his shoulder and closed your eyes.
You were exhausted. Your parents and school have been really hard to handle, and at this point, you wanted everything to just stop. Maybe you were going to regret telling all of this to Kyle later today, but as for now, it felt good the way he was holding you as if you were the most fragile thing in the world that could break at any moment. You were really enjoying the physical contact.
“You are not useless.”
“I’m literally so fucking useless right now, Kyle. I’m unable to do anything right, and over the last year, my grades have just gotten worse and worse. I’m not the smart girl you used to know.”
“I don’t think grades get to tell how good or bad a person is. What you do is what matters.”
“Fuck, that’s even worse.” you tried to joke and laugh, but Kyle realized you were really thinking that poorly of yourself.
“I’m serious, Y/n.” Kyle wanted to keep talking and show you how much of a fantastic person you were, but he realized he wouldn’t be able to change your self-concept anytime soon. Whatever your parents have told you really affected the way you perceived yourself. He kissed you on your forehead. “I can tell people have hurt you so much over the past year, but now I’m here, and I’m not letting anyone hurt you anymore, sweetheart. Got it?”
“You sure you ok, sweetheart?” Kyle wanted to know what happened between you and Kenny. Everyone in the class could see that you and Kenny weren’t even acknowledging each other.
For the past 7 almost 8 years, you and Kenny were inseparable, so this was just new territory for Kyle and a shocker for everyone else. The two of you were supposed to be reading and making a summary of whatever new book your English teacher assigned this month.
You only nodded, not even looking up from your book, and Kyle understood you didn’t want to talk about it. A part of him (the most selfish part) was pleased Kenny wasn’t next to you 24/7, but of course, the other part hated to see you so distraught.
“He’s an asshole if he can’t see what an amazing person he had by his side.”
“He’s not an asshole...” you closed your eyes and tried to calm yourself. Even if you weren’t on speaking terms with Kenny, you still believed he was the best thing you could’ve had. “You think that?”That I'm an amazing person?” you finally looked at him, trying to change the subject.
“Of course I think that.” Kyle tugged one strand of hair that was falling into your ear, and you smiled at him. Kyle always managed to make you feel better. You leaned into his shoulder.
“I just, I really don’t know what the hell happened. I mean, yeah, we fought a few weeks ago, but we made up, or well, at least I think we did. I don’t understand why he just started to ignore me and treat me like I’m the worst person he’s ever met.”
Kyle glanced at Kenny, who was not far from the two of you, and he could see the anger and betrayal he was feeling. He couldn’t believe Kenny was playing the victim in all of this, and he couldn’t quite understand why you didn’t do anything to at least make Kenny understand it wasn’t your fault, either.
“You know what’s the worse part? I don’t even know what I did. It looks like I did something to him and Bebe, but I’ve tried to remember everything that happened for those weeks, and I’m unable to piece any of it.” Kyle didn’t stop looking at Kenny during all that moment.
Kenny was ready to pick up a fight with him, but something stopped him. No, someone got his attention, Red. Kyle found it suspicious since he never really listened to anyone but you, but it appears Red became closer to Kenny after his fight with you.
Kyle decided it was best to just direct all his attention back to you instead of Kenny. Kyle grabbed your chin so you could see him directly in the eyes.
“I don’t really know what happened. At this point, I’m pretty sure I know as much as you, but I promise you that I’m going to find out what happened. Just trust me, ok?” Kyle gave you a sweet kiss on your cheek, and you blushed. You were finally smiling for the first time during the day.
“It’s not that necessary, Kyle. I’m just happy you believe me. I’m serious. Thank you” You returned your sight to your book. Kyle smiled at your comment.
He loved making you feel better, he loved your smile, and he loved the way you always managed to make him feel. Loved. Kyle also returned his sight to his book. When he least expected it, he felt your hand grabbing his. You smiled when you felt him squeeze your hand. You really loved everything Kyle was doing for you, and of course, you really loved Kyle.
“You really aren’t going to go to the last day of school? You’ve been absent for over a week now. Also is the graduation ceremony. The last day we will see each other” You and Kyle were lying down on the floor of your bedroom; the bed was way too small for the two of you to fit in it. Your parents, thankfully, were out working until 8 pm, so for the last week, Kyle has been visiting you during the evenings.
“Yeah, it’s not worth it. I don’t have anything to celebrate about,” you sighed. For the past months, Kyle has been the only one you could trust in. And the only one that seems to enjoy your presence.
“C’mon, it’s gonna be fine. I’m gonna be there. Let’s show everyone they cannot get to us that easily. If you don’t go tomorrow, they will win.” you laughed at his comment.
“You’re making it sound like it’s war, Kyle.”
“Well, yeah. Those fuckers hurt you. Don’t satisfy them, sweetheart.” you moved your whole body to face Kyle.
“I don’t know Kyle. I don’t think I want to see Kenny yet” You closed your eyes, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall at any moment. You felt Kyle’s hand grab your cheek, and his thumb started to caress it.
“Open your eyes, please.” You slowly did what he asked you to do, and you realized he was closer to you than he was before. His face was just mere inches apart from yours.
“Kyle…” you looked at his lips. Your whole body was now aware of his presence. How one of his arms was below your head, giving it some support while his other hand was still caressing your cheek. How his breathing started to pick up the moment you looked at his lips. For just that moment, you forgot everything that has been bothering you for such a long time now. For just that moment, it was only you and him.
“Can I…” Kyle didn’t even need to finish the sentence. The two of you have been waiting for this moment for so long, and it was finally happening. You only nodded, and that’s when you felt Kyle’s lips touch yours. The kiss was short but sweet. And it was everything you ever wished for. The two of you opened your eyes, and you stayed in silence for some minutes, just looking into each other eyes. Kyle’s gaze was filled with adoration and love.
“Please, go tomorrow. I’m never leaving your side. Plus, it may be the last day we are going to see each other since we are going to different high schools. Please, sweetheart.”
“Ok, but you have to promise you aren’t leaving me alone at any moment. Promise?”
