My creepy avatar headcanons reminded me of something.
Specifically this one:
Sometimes they're able to see or at least sense spirits or even dead people when no one else can but they never really acknowledge it because usually they blend in with everyone else pretty well.
Obviously this reminded me of how Kyoshi's fox is a spirit and how funny it would be if it could not always be seen by everyone, except for Kyoshi.
Kyoshi is just talking to the floor and Rangi is silently questioning if her girlfriend is going insane.
Returning home from her meeting with Yangchen, the animal had walked with her some of the way, but disappeared once her surroundings became familiar, leaving her to make the rest of the journey alone. She found herself vaguely confused for only a moment. Ultimately, she decided it made sense that the spirit would go its separate way once Kyoshi no longer needed its help.
That night, Kyoshi visited Rangi in the infirmary, offering some rudimentary healing to relieve the strain of her trip to and from Yun's grave. Sitting together on the bed in Rangi's small, private room, they talked quietly about the day's events as Kyoshi's water-wrapped hands traveled along the smaller woman's bandaged skin.
As expected, Rangi marveled at Kyoshi's accomplishment of finally communing with Avatar Yangchen, but beneath that, there was another hint of excitement.
"And what happened to the fox?" she asked.
"It left," Kyoshi replied flatly. She hadn't really thought about where it had gone. "It finished its job, I guess."
"Maybe." Rangi sounded vaguely disappointed, like she'd wanted to see it for herself. Drained as she was, Kyoshi couldn't help but smile at the idea of Rangi hoping to get a glimpse of the strangely cute, furry creature.
"Maybe it'll come back," she said, entirely unserious.
"Do you think so?" Rangi turned her head to look at Kyoshi over her shoulder, bronze eyes shining. "Do you think it might be your animal guide?"
Kyoshi paused, her fingers hovering over a patch of strained muscle she'd yet to soothe.
"My what?"
Rangi sighed, like Kyoshi ought to have learned this between learning to count and read. "Your animal guide, Kyoshi. Every Avatar has one. Szeto's dragon, Yangchen's bison, Kuruk's wolf. It's an animal that you form a spiritual bond with and offers you support and guidance throughout your Avatarhood."
Kyoshi had only ever heard of one of those supposed animal guides before; Yangchen's bison, which, by all accounts, had died in her defense when she was around Kyoshi's age. If the idea of having a formerly wild animal follow her around wasn't a turn off (and it was), then the idea of having something else to lose in such a fashion did the job.
"I already have companions," she said with a sniff, returning to her work when Rangi began to squirm slightly. "And I don't like pets. They're messy."
"It's not a pet, Kyoshi!" Rangi insisted. "The bond between an Avatar and their animal guide is sacred."
"So, it feeds and cleans up after itself?"
Rangi scoffed quietly. "What's with you hating animals all of a sudden? You like Yingyong."
"Yingyong isn't mine," Kyoshi said. "I'm not responsible for him most of the time."
"What about Pengpeng?"
Kyoshi's breath shuddered and she lost control of the water in her hands, sending it pouring down Rangi's back. Muttering a swear, she gently bent it out of the sheets and back to a jar in the corner.
"Pengpeng was different," she murmured. "She was Kelsang's."
After everything he'd done for her, she'd owed it to the kind old monk to take care of his companion, and she hadn't even done a good job of it. In truth, Pengpeng had been the one looking after her. The kindest thing Kyoshi could have done for her was leaving her behind at the Southern Air Temple, free of the burden of helping the Avatar.
"I'm sorry." Rangi tried to twist and face Kyoshi properly, but her wound wouldn't quite let her get there.
"It's fine." With gentle hands, Kyoshi guided her down until she was laying against the neatly arranged pillows. "I'm just tired. It's been a long day."
She made to rise, to retire to one of the rooms in a nearby guest wing that hadn't taken as much damage as the rest of the house, but Rangi caught her by the wrist.
"Stay?" she asked softly. Who was Kyoshi to refuse, when she said it like that?
With a soft sigh, she crammed herself into the remaining space on the bed, tucking Rangi's head beneath her chin and ignoring the soft tickle of her unbound hair.
"I didn't mean to upset you," Rangi murmured into the flesh of Kyoshi's throat.
"You didn't," Kyoshi whispered back. "But I think it's more likely that fox was just a spirit Yangchen sent to find me."
Rangi hummed in quiet assent, relaxing as Kyoshi pressed a knuckle into a still-tight muscle in her back.
"Knowing me, my animal guide is probably a badgermole." Kyoshi added a humorous lilt to her voice. "Or maybe an ostrich-horse that I'll be too heavy to ride."
"I think it'll be just what you need," Rangi replied. "They usually are."
As she closed her eyes, body wrapped tightly around her girl, Kyoshi thought that she already had just what she needed. After all, who wanted a wild animal to give them support and guidance when they already had the perfect companion in a warm little ember of a woman pressed against their chest?
Kyoshi would stick with humans for the time being.
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For the next several weeks, Kyoshi kept as busy as she could.
Helping Ataut with Rangi's healing sessions. Working together with Wong to earthbend parts of the mansion back into a more useable state. Salvaging what she could of the various libraries with Hei-Ran. Even helping Auntie Mui replant a section of the gardens because the loyal old woman missed the presentable estate so much.
Anything she could do, really. Anything to focus on, because any time her mind wasn't occupied, it wandered back to Yun. The day their home had been destroyed, and she'd almost lost Rangi, and she'd closed the door forever on getting back any of what she'd lost after Jianzhu had ruined her simple life.
Several times, she thought about walking back up to Yun's grave, but each time the urge struck her, she beat it down and threw herself into another task. If she went up there again, she would fall apart, and she didn't know when or if she'd ever be able to put herself back together.
Still, it kept coming to her. The need to visit and pay her respects and apologize until her throat went hoarse.
All in all, she held out longer than she expected to, but lost the battle late one night.
By now, everyone had claimed and situated themselves in a room in what had once been a guest wing, Kyoshi and Rangi included. Despite the plush bed actually having enough space for them both, they still slept in a tight tangle of limbs, which was nice most nights but made getting up after dark a bit of a challenge.
Kyoshi had to move very slowly and carefully to detach herself from Rangi without waking her, and even then, she only partially succeeded. When Kyoshi was nearly up, Rangi's eyes fluttered half-open with a sleepy murmur. Acting quickly to keep her from rising, Kyoshi ran a gentle hand down her back.
"Just getting some water," she whispered. "I'll be right back."
Satisfied with that, Rangi let her head sink back into her pillow, and Kyoshi quietly left the room.
Padding silently through the barren, messily reconstructed halls, Kyoshi made her way out of the mansion with no more resistance. From the outside, most of the once great manor resembled old ruins in the dark. Only necessary facilities had been fixed up so far, and Kyoshi thought that eventually she was just going to clear away some sections instead of restoring them. No point in servants' quarters or halls upon halls of bedrooms when she neither intended to staff the house nor host anyone but her closest friends.
She turned away from the sore sight, crossed the grounds, and began her trek up the hill.
The walk itself was uneventful. The only sounds other than Kyoshi's own footsteps were the chirping of insects and, once, the rustle of a cat-owl's wings. Nothing bothered her, and she reached the gravesite quickly.
A greeting died on her tongue when she saw it. She wanted to act like she was just coming to visit an old friend, but that probably wasn't healthy. Instead, she simply knelt in front of the marked stone.
There were so many things she wanted to say, but they were too jumbled up in her head for her to land on one in particular. Eventually, she just started to cry.
Being here, staring at this grave, remembering Yun, all made her chest and head hurt in a way she couldn't describe.
He had become something she couldn't describe. Her dear friend, who she missed with all her heart. Her enemy, who had nearly taken her last love from her. A beautiful future that had never come to pass. A fellow victim of Jianzhu's treachery. A victim of Kyoshi's own ruthless decisions. The maker of his own fate.
What a mess they'd made of things.
Kyoshi found herself wondering how things may have been different if she'd been identified as the Avatar from the beginning. Yun would probably still be alive, unknown to her but finding his own path in the world. Kelsang, too, would likely still be here.
She would have gotten herself a proper home so much sooner, saved everyone the trouble and spared herself several years of pain. She would have been properly trained in the duties of the Avatar, Rangi her bodyguard from the very beginning. Hei-Ran would have remained at top strength and in high esteem. The Flying Opera Company would still be stuck in Chameleon Bay, with Lek alive and well.
A better future for everyone, cut off and destroyed all because Kyoshi, as a stupid little girl, had gotten scared and run off too soon with the clay turtle.
A sharp pinch near her elbow abruptly cut off her train of thought. Wincing, she twisted around to find its source and paused when she saw it. The fox from before had somehow crept up on her completely unheard and taken up a place at her side. And it had bitten her.
"Ow!" she hissed at it. "What was that for?"
Piercing green eyes glowed up at her in the dark, the creature's expression uncannily disapproving. Like it had read her thoughts and decided they simply wouldn't do.
"Does Yangchen have another message for me?" Kyoshi asked, pointedly rubbing her arm and glaring.
In response, the fox settled itself right beside her in a comfortable lounging position. A no, then. It didn't have anything important to tell her; it just wanted to sit here, with its fur brushing up against her and definitely shedding onto her thin sleeping robe.
Turning back to Yun's grave, Kyoshi murmured, "my girlfriend thinks you're supposed to be my animal guide, but you should know I'm not looking for one. This is probably a waste of your time."
The furry little spirit simply nestled in closer. Kyoshi sighed.
"I'm serious. If I wanted an animal, I would've gotten myself a bison by now." Technically, Kyoshi wasn't entirely sure how much being half Air Nomad entitled her to a sky bison of her own, but she had, a couple of times during her stay at the Southern Air Temple, entertained the thought of adopting one of Pengpeng's calves.
She never would have done it, though. The poor girl had already lost her companion in Kyoshi's defense. Her children would be kept far away from service to the Avatar, bonded instead to kind, responsible Air Nomads that could guarantee their safety.
"You wouldn't like being mine, anyway," Kyoshi went on. "I don't know how my friends put up with all the trouble I cause. I'm rotten work."
The fox sat up slowly and reached over to place a paw on Kyoshi's leg. Kyoshi forced herself to look, and strangely, its face in that moment reminded her of Rangi, who would have told her that any work, no matter how rotten, was worth it if it was for her.
Suddenly, the fox reared up on its hind legs to get at Kyoshi's face, then began to lick away the remaining tears.
"Hey!" Kyoshi leaned as far back as she could without falling, but the animal persisted. Despite the underlying feeling of disgust at the animal's saliva on her face, she couldn't help but laugh at both the gesture and the tickling sensation.
The fox chirruped at her, its tail waving back and forth like an excited deer-dog.
"Bad fox! Down, girl!" Deciding on a whim how she would refer to the creature going forward, Kyoshi began to gently wrangle it off her.
Now wriggling in Kyoshi's arms, the fox grinned, successful in her mission of distracting the Avatar from her grief.
"Alright, alright." Kyoshi set her down and began to stand. "I admit, you're kind of cute, but I've been here long enough."
The fox yipped in apparent agreement and trotted a few feet away, turning back to Kyoshi to make sure she followed. It seemed the spirit meant to walk her home again.
She began to make her way back down the hill without paying the fox much attention, curious to see how far it would follow her on its own. As before, she lost track of it once the mansion was in sight, as if the whole thing were a hallucination she could only experience with no one else around.
Quietly, she entered the mansion and padded back to her room, where Rangi was sitting up on the bed, arms crossed like a parent waiting for the return of a child that had snuck out.
"It took you an hour to get a drink of water?" she demanded, her voice heavy with skepticism.
"I went to Yun's grave," Kyoshi confessed, not interested in lying to her any further.
Rangi's harsh expression softened in an instant, her posture relaxing as Kyoshi approached the bed and crawled in beside her.
"You could have told me where you were going," she said, laying down to put her face near Kyoshi's.
"I thought you might worry."
The subtle pout on Rangi's face was enough to make Kyoshi want to cry again. "I'm more worried about the fact that you lied to me."
"I'm sorry," Kyoshi murmured, partially into her pillow.
"I don't want you to be sorry." Rangi inched closer so that their foreheads were almost touching and Kyoshi could feel the warmth of her breath. "I just want you to be honest."
Kyoshi obliged her readily. "I saw the fox again. No message from any past Avatars this time. She just... sat with me. I think she was trying to make me feel better."
Slowly, a tiny bit of the concern in Rangi's expression gave way to interest.
"Did you feel a connection?"
"I don't know." Kyoshi rolled over to stare at the ceiling, her eyes following a tiny crack she ought to fix. "She seems to like me. I guess I'll just have to see if she comes back again."
Rangi snuggled up to Kyoshi's side, and the two settled in together. For a few minutes, only the sound of their breathing filled the room.
"Kyoshi?" Rangi broke the silence gently, with a whisper against Kyoshi's shoulder. "Next time you go to Yun's grave, take me with you, okay? You shouldn't have to grieve alone. And... he was my friend too."
Kyoshi felt a stab of guilt for leaving her behind.
Her eyes slid shut and, feeling heavy, she uttered what she knew to be the only real answer to her girl's request.
"Okay."
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