#kyupost

[ask-sj-chokyuhyun]

*curls up in bed* I have almost no voice and no schedules today.. Thank god. *pulls the covers over his head*

[ask-sj-chokyuhyun]

Journal entry #205

Who would have known that Henry being so busy would have changed so much... Everday is fading into the last, the days are going fast but the nights are long. I’m focusing on my schedules and spending more and more time away from home just because I don’t like being here on my own. I’m lonely and everyday that passes it just gets worse, I understand that he is busy but would a text kill him? I Haven’t heard a single thing from him in almost four days now..

I was speaking to my mother about everything the other day. With how i’ve been acting, my moods and just everything about me right now added with the fact that she knows Henry hasn’t been around, she assumed he had left me.. Kind of makes sense I guess. But as soon as I told her he was just busy she apologised and told me she shouldn’t have assumed. Maybe I shouldn’t have told Henry about that.. I don’t know. I just miss him and sometimes it feels like that feeling isn’t returned.. I need to stop thinking. It’s stupid and it’s not going to help.

I spent hours talking to my doctor tonight, she's worried about me despite the fact I keep telling her i’m fine.. I am fine. I’m not okay, but i’m fine. Fine is just something everyone needs to get used to now. I can smile but it doesn’t have the same meaning anymore. I’m getting used to it. She’s given me something to help me sleep so hopefully when I go to bed i’ll be able to sleep all night.

I’m going to spend a few days with my parents to keep my mind off things, help me get through everyday a little easier. My mother has been bringing me food to make sure i’ve been eating so i’m glad I haven’t had to worry about that. I was thinking about taking a trip somewhere to get away from everything for a little bit. But my schedules stop that for the time being. I might wait until they calm down a little more or I have a small break before I go anywhere.

I’m going to go and take a bath so I can go to bed. I’ll probably end up ripping this page out before my doctor can read it, I just needed to write everything down that was in my head.

[ask-sj-chokyuhyun]

I’m exhausted. *yawns* Food, bath, rest, rest and more rest. I’m not looking forward to another week of this..

[ask-sj-chokyuhyun]

I should probably have eaten before I got in bed. *yawns* Oh well, i’m too tired to care about anything right now. *hugs his pillow and closes his eyes*

[ask-sj-chokyuhyun]

*curls up in bed* Looking at photographs from our wedding is the worst possible thing I could be doing right now. *sighs and puts the album on the nightstand, hugging his pillow* Crappy day, be over already.

[ask-sj-chokyuhyun]

*curls up in bed, hugging his pillow* Two days away. I’ve missed my bed.

[ask-sj-chokyuhyun]

Journal entry #204

After two days away on schedules i’m finally home. It’s been such a busy couple of days and i’m so glad to be home, even if Henry still isn’t here..

I got to see him on Friday night. He had a break in schedules so he came home. Falling asleep with him and waking up beside him has never felt so good. He left again later on Saturday but the day we got to spend together helped. My mood hasn’t been as bad since I saw him, but i’ve still been distant from a lot of things, I still keep getting scolded for ‘daydreaming’ as people have been putting it.

I’m not taking my strong painkillers anymore for the pain in my hand. It’s getting better slowly and the bruising has almost gone, but it’s still hurts a lot of I move it wrong. I’m just glad it’s almost better. I had to miss my guitar lesson today but i’ve been told that I should be okay for my lesson on Friday.

I have no more long schedules now until Sunday, just a few short ones, so i’m going to be home almost everyday. It sucks to be stuck home on my own but it’s something I have to get used to... I really wish Henry’ schedules weren’t so busy...

[ask-sj-chokyuhyun]

*curls up in bed with a cup of hot chocolate* I swear, these painkillers are the best thing about this week.. *yawns*