#kyuu rambles

[killjo-q]

being small and playing a big instrument is funny sometimes cuz when i go out i just look like a case with legs from the back

[kyuubinu]

There's something to be said for She-ra's ending. I haven't been able to trust a show in so long. I can't just just sit back and go on the ride because I know, somewhere, in my heart of hearts, that they are going to rip someone away that didn't deserve it for shock value. The gay lovers will be killed. The tragic end will befall one of them. Someone will lose their partner and be forced to mourn the rest of their lives. I will be shown, yet again, that my love is only good for drama, and people like me don't get to live happily ever after.

I trusted Noelle, but I didn't trust her higher ups. I knew that before the end, someone was going to die, and it was going to rip me to shreds again, and I needed to be ready for it.

And then it Didn't Happen. The Wives survived. The lovers overcame together. The world was saved by THEIR love, and they were not left alone.

It didn't tear me apart. It lifted me up, showed me an end where my kind of love MEANT something. Where it was good and true and people like me can be Happy.

And that means the world to me.

[kyuuvern]

Hey All!

I’m Kyuu, a digital artist. This is a blog where I can simply just post my art in a easier to find & organize space. I draw OCs as well as various fandom art, I don’t really limit myself. However, if you would like to hear more about my OCs or follow me on a platform where I’m more active in terms of posting thoughts/WIPs, please check out my other social media links! I am especially most active on Twitter currently.

COMMISSION STATUS: Open (1/4 slots) Info: https://kyuuvern.wixsite.com/commissions

SOCIAL MEDIA:

Twitter

Instagram

Deviantart

Ko-fi

[killjo-q]

life update ig?

internet and doc says id feel better after around 8 weeks , it has been 3 (going 4 i guess) months and i still feel horrible…. There are times where its more manageable but most of the time its like theres a heavy fog in my mind that i cannot shake no matter what i do. i see old classmates and friends living their best lives rn and lots of them seem so happy, chill and put together and I wonder what im missing?? (is it running??? all of them seem to be runners lol). I remember back in internship days and me and friend would always casually say depressing things because it was the usual for us and other co-interns were like “??? omg are u ok dont say stuff like that” and thats when I realized rly that woah not all college students r burntout and fighting depression djdhh

The feeling has never left me since then though, maybe its all the stress from being forced to do well in a path I never rly liked and the lack of proper sleep that had accumulated and im still feeling it to this day? but damn its been 4 years since then

anyway, today has been worse than usual and i did not know what to do with the thoughts tonight so am writing them down as proof of life since I havent rly been active lately. Im still trying to finish everything I have to draw though, cuz my mind wont let me have a moments peace. I cannot rly enjoy hobbies (i thought it would help) or anything either cuz all of them are tainted by …thoughts.

Will definitely take a LONG break after all this (fr this time) because I can’t find joy in art anymore. Its more of a stressor now than a passion and ive lost that urge to learn and improve. I dont even have the energy to open social media that often anymore

[killjo-q]

Haven’t been active here or anywhere actually.. Art hasn’t really been fun for me these days (maybe weeks).. I’m surprised I still get notifs and follows. The dungeon meshi and ER art keeping this account alive while i rot in my own head lol

Been struggling with probably my most intense period of burnout so far and the bad sleep has returned, but I can’t rly afford to stop so I’ll be around but not very active and very slow with commish updates. I think the worst part is over though (maybe) ?Visited the doc after being unable to go back for a long while and I feel slightly better at least. I managed to muster enough willpower to finish a few things this week.

Also the new hobby I have found has been interesting (i can tell it will be frustrating though haha) but its probably the only thing keeping me going rn so I will try to use it as motivation.

[killjo-q]

Have not felt inspired. Like there are times when I get excited over a movie or a show but like that urge to find new artists and study their artstyle has not been present for a while now. Gosh I want my old art motivation baacck. Need to be obsessed with artstyles or a piece of media again that it makes me want to learn how to draw better

[killjo-q]

My family got me a cute little cake for my birthday hehe

Also spent it at a pet/plant expo and made a new friend! Overall a good day

[killjo-q]

Been absent her for little while because I’m tryjng tk make the most of ajanuary before wirk started but yeah belated happy new year yall!

This year my buggest resolutions are to sleeb more (and at reasonable time) and to pace myself with work a little bit better. I rly did not do a good job with taking care if myself last year :’) it more than half of it was spent being kinda miserable. This year though, I will try to do better. I’ll take less comms ,, so I dont rly burnout as bad as I did last year and try to draw more personal art (Need to repair that relationship with art…)

anyway , while I made a lot of progress the past nov-dec , I still have a few comms from last year to work on so i might not open commissions til i finish a few more. I’ll probably open again in february(?)