#lady doc

[goodbyetmi]

Generally, the whole exam takes no more than 5 minutes.

http://www.wsnm.org/Health.aspx?PageID=19

In reference to the duration of a standard annual exam at an OBGYN.  Obviously/ideally the length of time you spend talking to your doctor will be longer than the exam itself.  Few people look forward to their annual exams, as it's not the most comfortable process in the world, but the fact of the matter is you can get the "worst" part of your reproductive health exam completed in less time than it takes to preheat an oven.

[goodbyetmi]

It's like a flimsy robe.

Despite the fact that nearly every hospital gown scenario (and pop culture portrayal of said scenarios) features the opening to the hospital gown in the back, annual exams at the OBGYN have you put your your gown on with the opening in the front, allowing them to do a more thorough exam.

[heda-heather]

The Lady Doc for Lesbians

I'd like to take a moment to tell you how awkward the gyno is for a lesbian. They ask you questions that end up trapping you and you fall into one of two categories:

1) Hornball who needs a free supply of condoms.

2) Prude religious lady who deserves a pat on the back.

BOTH OF WHICH ARE HETEROSEXUAL

This is an actual convo I had with my doc...

Dr: Are you on the pill?

Me: No

Dr: Do you use condoms?

Me: Uh... no

Dr: Okay, so you're abstinent *checks off chart*

Me: uh... wha-i mean--but-ok

tho I really wanted to say BITCH, NOT BY CHOICE.

Here's a thought... KNOW THE BACKGROUND OF YOUR PATIENTS because pretty sure 4 years ago (YEA THAT'S HOW LONG I'VE BEEN GOING TO THIS PRACTICE) when I awkwardly filled out that form while my mom was sitting next to me (so I literally had to turn it upside down to answer without her seeing), I checked "yes" for "homosexual relationships"

Also, when they found out I was "abstinent" they treated me like a goddess. Like, how can you be a sex doctor and be predisposed to beliefs that certain behaviors attribute higher standards?

But really, if I looked more like Justin Bieber, would you have taken my little question interview more into consideration? Would you have asked me if I had participated in sexual relations with another female? Is it because I can pass as straight way better than i can pass as gay, that you made assumptions that you didn't need to go ANY FURTHER with that questioning? Like what the fuck I'm kinda furious about this.