Hellooooo mon cherie, as I am sure you are aware, it is a very important date today. We have made it to two years together in our relationship! As I have said in previous posts to date the universe is ridiculously challenging towards us (and whether that is due to the universe strengthening our bonds before we truly come together to be or not, I do not know) and it has been a shit year – not in terms of our relationship. Nonetheless, somehow, we have survived this over four-thousand-mile distance with all the ups and downs of the never-ending rollercoaster that is life. I want to say it’s been easy and full of happy days, but without the sad days and the bad days there would strictly speaking, be no good days.
You probably thought I wasn’t going to be prepared for today, but this is the least I can do for you for all the shit I’ve been putting you through recently. And yes, the baby picture is potentially what Ollie will look like – he will be a stunner like his father – and yes, that is total permission to use that picture as blackmail for whatever dastardly deed you may need it for. It has been a wild two years with you in ways I cannot say out loud for many explicit reasons, but after five/six years of knowing each other and still being able to carry out the friendship we had from the beginning – on a higher level (obviously) is something amazing.
I’m probably repeating myself from last years anniversary post, in a lot of what I’m saying, but I think you deserve to know how I still really feel about you. This is my inner monologue and I am just saying how weird the sentence “you deserve to know how I feel about you” seemed creepy; I don’t know why. Regardless, Mrs Edwards, you are my world and you continue to become a bigger part of my life day by day. Ever since I asked you to marry me (and for the many more times that I will) you have made me realize how much a future would mean to me. I used to be a twelve-year-old idiot (now going on nineteen hh thirteen in your eyes) who didn’t think he would ever want a future to settle down, or even thought about settling down with anybody – people sucked back then. But you don’t, not all the time, and certainly not for free. You changed my mind, you were the one who I matured down for, too – if I was going to have a life with you and make you my wife and have our weans then I was going to have to put a ring on that finger and mean it when I ask you the question. Whether that is in a Starbucks in Edinburgh or happens to be Cosmo when you can’t find any food you like, and I get annoyed with you, I’ll just distract you from the fact that our date goes disastrous (and we’ll get pizza or something on the way back). That’s not a plan, by the way – that’s not how I’m going to properly propose – but idea nonetheless.
Rambling. Right. Inner monologue. I didn’t want to word this as if it was an essay because if I don’t get out my inner thoughts then it’s drafted; scripted, even – and I want this to come from the heart so ignore the often-incessant nonsense I spout between the lines. We have made it this far, and you’ll properly be with me soon – and everything will be much better than we could have ever imagined it being. Obviously, that comes with its own issues and temporary delays (as everything does in LDR), but once we are settled in together (hopefully in a place of our own) life can truly begin for me. The life you have made me yearn for since I ever realized that I wanted to make you my wife, and have you in my life forever – the younger years that I realized shit, maybe soulmates exist. I was always meant to find you, my fish out of water – The TARDIS always takes me to where I need to go, never where I want to go – that’s why she took me to you. The man from the stars, that’s me – the sad old soul who is usually alone until somebody like you comes along, my companion. Every milestone we hit is technically a step further into the future together, and the future is scary, so hear me out – we face it all together… and then nothing can go that wrong. I know you’ll come out to me in January, and we’ll start the rest of our lives together (for you it will be starting over, which will be the biggest thing you’ve ever done, but you’ll always have me there by your side). Anyway, darlin’ before I rattle on for a few years (and end up with five thousand words) about how the rest of our life is going to be amazing and full of spontaneous, touristy adventures and road trips and babies, and dreadful college, I guess I better wrap it up.
This is the only thing I will wrap before I tap. Fuck, these inside jokes are gonna confuse the hell out of whoever reads them. Nevertheless, brain, stop rambling off into tangents. Focus. Megan Edwards, my wife, my life, my soulmate, my fish out of water, my companion, my best friend, my girlfriend, my fiancé, everything in between, my sweetheart, my baby girl, my love, mon Cherie, my beautiful ginger princess/to be made Queen. I am sorry for all the hell I have been putting you through, because I know I can treat you so much better and I know you’ll give me that chance for which I am forever grateful (bc I never know how you manage to put up with an angry Scirishman for so long – especially with my shit). I hope you will forever understand, forever be my best friend and my wife and so much more – and we will work on everything together… even if that takes time (unless the extreme were to happen – obviously). The fight of LDR is nearly over, January is not that far away. I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you and officially get to call you my wife, my Mrs Edwards. You are the most beautiful woman I have genuinely ever met, inside and out, regardless of what I say or do sometimes to show otherwise or not to convince you otherwise.
I know I treat you like shit sometimes, and if you would allow me the honor then I have a lot of life left in me yet to make that up to you and make sure you are loved, remind you that you are the only woman I ever need in my life, and the only woman I will ever want or need. You are unbelievably attractive in your personality and you dazzle me with your looks (you won’t believe this, but you still do) – we are going to make the most good-looking babies planet Earth could ever produce. I can see it. I am Still rambling, alrighty then – good job, me – finishing my novel three hundred words ago. You’re worth a lot more than a thousand words, so who cares. I hope you don’t mind this rambling sappy nonsense I put to this picture – I thought I’d provide some context alongside why I made it – and I hope I never have to eat my words. Because you are my one and truly – the only one I’m devoted to. And I love you, I do. As much as you judge me saying that and I hate that, I still do. Nothing will ever change that. Unless you did something horrendously criminal. Remember, I’m Bateman, not you. I hope I can help make our 2nd anniversary a good one. I wish we could get lots of pictures together and vlog it, to make the memories, but such is life (until January). Joyeux anniversaire, mon amour. Je t’aime, mon Megan. J’adore vous ma reine. (Dѐsolѐ for embarrassing you in advance!)