@laevellan , CONT.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤsolas knows HE IS HIS OWN DOWNFALL, that his ego and unthinking, his rash behavior, comes at the expense of everyone around him, as ashalle grips firm his arm to steady herself. her laughter rings between them like bells, beautiful and melodic, and unknowingly full of reverence. he made the comment to himself only moments ago that he should train her, but when she asks him, suddenly the dread in his name rears its head in his mind. HE SHOULD NOT TEACH HER ; why would he even think it ? what could possess him to feel as though her improvement in this field would in any way benefit his duty in the long run ? he has attempted the quiet dalish life, assumed a role of teacher and been bitten for it too many times. the elven of now have proved over and over that their ware is greater than heed ; they are not his people, they are not the same. what part of ashalle marks her different from them ?
he knows the answer, and does not want to confront his own misgivings : she bears her sigil, her fire, her wonderance, her values. his obsession is carved on her face, the same mark he wore, the branches that reach underskin and hold firm to his heart. every part of ashalle is a remnant of the woman he loved, of the woman he failed. he does not want to fail her as he has failed before, and solas does not want to think on what that implies. he should not teach her ; WHY IS HE GOING TO, THEN ? " i can think of no finer student. tell josephine to reassign your old trainer ; I WILL TAKE OVER YOUR EDUCATION. "
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤregret will hit him years down the line, solas knows, BUT IT MEANS NOTHING TO HIM NOW, as he removes himself from behind her. he can't afford whatever heavy feeling has jumped into his throat, averts his gaze from her lithe figure, strong and athletic from years on the move no doubt, from the scent of her hair, poppy blossom and an undertone he is unfamiliar with. why does he do this to himself ? why must he make his life a balancing act ? she would run if she knew, fears the dread wolf they way her dalish have taught her, and though he knows their reason for fear is misplaced, they are rightfully afraid. one day her eyes won't look at him with such wonder.
a clearing of his throat. " i need not express to you intensely the dangers of the fade, i am sure, but nonetheless, my only ground rule is your undivided attention when training. i will not accept unnecessary accidents, lethalan. " under his breath, " ar'am dar bel melana. "










