Apr 12
One last time at home...
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One last time at home...
tried to turn the realest quote of all time into an image in picmix without using the text tool
AGAIN (AND AGAIN AND AGAIN) sources & transcript below the cut
Kopitar // women in STEM // forever? // ⧖ - by user @.sidui // wormhole illustration, Klein 1982 // Oilers eliminate Kings in 7 // Oilers eliminate Kings in 5 // Oilers eliminate Kings in 6 // Time After Time - Cyndi Lauper // enemies in every universe // good morning kings // The Guest - Anna Akhmatova, tl. Carl R. Proffer // Kopitar, Draisaitl, McDavid talk // Oilers celebrate behind Danault // Kopitar skates away // this time loop fucking sucks // Another Playoff Clash // ghosts dancing - oliver gilet // Time Warp - Richard O'Brien (The Rocky Horror Picture Show)
Web weave about the Los Angeles Kings and Edmonton Oilers’ repeated meetings in round 1 of the Stanley Cup Playoffs themed around time loops, featuring edited photos and memes. ID’s are in order of appearance.
(1) Single frame of StarPark’s untitled animatic. Black text on white. Text reads: “Do you think we are enemies in every universe?”
(2) Tumblr post screenshot: “I support women in STEM (Scary experiments, Time loops, Existential dilemmas, Madness).”
(3) Closeup photo of Anže Kopitar in profile during a faceoff. His mouth is open, his eyes are wide, water speckles his visor.
(4) Headline that reads: “Are the Edmonton Oilers and Los Angeles Kings destined to battle forever?”
(5) Fake series of Tumblr posts edited from the originals to look like the LA Kings talking to each other. Each timestamp date coincides roughly with the beginning of playoffs and the times when the Kings were eliminated, ending with a post at the exact time the Kings announced clinching playoffs on their Twitter in 2025. Posts read:
anzekopitar11 (May 2, 2022): good morning kings let’s push this boulder
piplup-danault (May15, 2022): bad news about the boulder everyone
anzekopitar11 (April 17, 2023): Good morning kings let’s push this boulder
fifiala-k (April 30, 2023): bad news about the boulder everyone
anzekopitar11 (April 20, 2024) Good morning kings let’s push this boulder
clarke4norris (May1, 2024) Bad news about the boulder everyone
anzekopitar11 (April 5, 2025 - 10:03 PM 7 hours ago) Good morning kings let’s push this boulder
(6) Photograph of an analogue alarm clock on a grey background. The clock is gold, it sits to the far left of the frame. It is gold, with gold hands and a white face. It is behind cracked, frosted plastic.
(7) Illustrated diagram of a wormhole and the fabric of time. Space is represented by a grid with holes in it, with root-like tunnels that lead down and away from the holes and tangle with each other in a mass of tunnels below. The diagram is labelled “The wormhole connections in the time-space continuum (Drawing from Klein 1982, 12)”
Edited on top are three headlines from when the Kings were eliminated by the Oilers, each with a red line drawn connecting them to the nexus of wormholes. The headlines, from top to bottom, read:
- Connor McDavid, Edmonton Oilers cap Round 1 comeback, eliminate Los Angeles Kings in Game 7
- Draisaitl, Oilers eliminate Kings with win in Game 5
- Yamamoto scores late in Game 6 to lift Oilers over Kings, into 2nd round
(8) Photo of Oilers teammates Leon Draisaitl (left) and Zach Hyman (right) celebrating. Between them, just behind, is Kings Captain Anže Kopitar with his back to the camera, skating away. Text in the top left reads: “Kill me once, shame on you”
(9) From Time After Time by Cyndi Lauper: “Time after time” repeated 7 times, then, “Time after, Time”
(10) Photo of Oilers teammates Evan Bouchard, Matthias Ekholm, and Connor McDavid celebrating. In the foreground, very blurred out, is LA Kings player Phillip Danault skating off. Text in the middle reads: “kill me twice, how did you do that”
(11) From The Guest by Anna Akhmatova. White text on red. Text reads:
I asked: “What do you want?”
He replied: “To be with you in Hell.”
(12) Photo of Oilers teammates Leon Draisaitl (left) and Connor McDavid (right) facing away from the camera while they chat to Kings Captain Anže Kopitar, who is between them. Draisaitl has a bare hand on Kopitar’s chest as though to push him back. Text in the bottom right reads: “kill me three times, this time loop fucking sucks”
(13) Headline that reads: “Oilers & Kings Appear Destined For Yet Another Playoff Clash” published March 31, 2025 by Brian Swane. Body text reads: “With just over two weeks remaining in the 2024-25 NHL regular season, it’s looking more and more like the Edmonton Oilers and Los Angeles Kings will be meeting in the first round of the 2025 Stanley Cup Playoffs.”
(14) Experimental photograph of white, ghost-like beings dancing in a grey field. They are holding hands and seem to be spinning in a circle, going so fast that there are afterimages.
(15) From Time Warp by Richard O’Brian (The Rocky Horror Picture Show).
Black text on white: [Refrain: All]
Highlighted white text on red:
Let’s do the Time Warp again
Let’s do the Time Warp again
co-creator: @puckpocketed
ID/Transcript Under the Cut
Slide One
On a background of blue-purple-pink palm trees, a montage of photos featuring Quinton Byfield in various silly poses and situations. In the center, text reads: “Quinton Byfield, a primer.”
ID of each photo, from left to right.
TOP ROW:
(1) Cropped photo of Team Canada’s 2025 Olympic Orientation Camp. It is a very pixelated Quinton Byfield. He is smiling for the camera, he glows in the sun.
(2) The LA Kings broadcast cropped focus on the Kings bench, where Alex Laferriere, Quinton Byfield, Phillip Danault, and coach Jim Hiller are waiting for play to resume. Byfield is throwing it back. He is bent over with his hands braced against the boards and ass several feet in the air. Behind him is coach Jim Hiller, who looks on with his mouth slightly open.
(3) Former Kings player Jordan Spence and Byfield together on the ice, both of them grinning wide as Spence pushes Byfield around on a blue seal sled. Spence is in a gaudy red Christmas sweater and Byfield is in a bright yellow onesie.
(4) Byfield inside what looks to be a man-cave. He poses side-on with his hands on his hips and a squinty expression on his face, an attempt at looking cool. He is wearing a bright green novelty beer helmet, which is shaped like a cowboy hat, and has the straw dangling out of his mouth.
(5) Byfield in a car with the window down. He Makes a blue steel expression, his brow wrinkled and his lips pursed.
BOTTOM ROW:
(1) Byfield in the locker room with his practice gear on. He flexes his arm to pose for the camera. Here is a ring of dampness visible around his neck.
(2) Black and white photo of Byfield and former teammate Vladislav Gavrikov during a Kings win celebration (victory flag visible in the background). Their gloved hands are locked, Gavrikov grins and Byfield looks off-screen with his mouth wide open.
(3) Byfield on what looks to be an on-ice obstacle course, the photo taken from an angle slightly above his head. He has his helmet loose with the foggy visor flipped up. He looks at the camera with a cheeky expression and pokes his tongue out of the corner of his mouth.
(4) Byfield and former teammate Pierre-Luc Dubois taking a selfie together in their Kings practice gear. Dubois holds the phone out in front of him and smiles sweetly. Byfield leans into Dubois and makes an exaggerated pouting face.
(5) Byfield on a boat holding a fishing rod in one hand and a large black fish in the other hand. He brings the fish close and leans down to make a kissy face at it.
Slide Two
text:
B.D. — Before Draft
– Quinton was taken first overall to the Sudbury Wolves of the OHL in 2018. in his two seasons he put up 61 goals and 82 assists for 143 points in 109 games!!!
– in the 2018-19 season he won CHL/OHL rookie of the year and he tied for fifth in the OHL 2019-20 season with points/gp
– in 2019 he was with team Canada in the 2019 Hlinka Gretzky Cup, winning silver with them
– he also participated in the 2020 WJC for team Canada and won gold
– in an interview q’s 2021 WJC teammates said he brought blueberries and raspberries with him and a full meal to the rink. also not a stranger to dominos and ordered it multiple times a week with marble cake. (they won silver this year. q put up two goals and five assists in seven games)
Various Photos of Quinton Byfield to the right of the body text.
ID Left to right, top to bottom:
(1) A group photo of the 2020 Canada World Juniors squad after winning gold, with Byfield amongst them.
(2) Photo of 3 Sudbury Wolves players after the Teddy Bear Toss event. Quinton Byfield stands between his (unidentified) teammates with his arms on their shoulders, with a plushie between his teeth.
(3) Byfield in a red, flower patterned suit jacket during walk-ins. He is carrying a box of blueberries and a box of raspberries in one hand.
(4) Byfield during the 2020 WJC right after the final whistle. He is caught in motion while running to the victory scrum having thrown his gloves off in celebration.
Slide Three
text:
A.D. – After Draft and Beyond
– quinton made NHL history on october 6th, 2020, by becoming the highest drafted black person at 2nd overall !!!
– Magic Johnson and Snoop Dogg congratulated quinton right after the draft
– when quinton was drafted he had a little bowtie on, which rob blake made a comment on in a post-draft interview! blake stated that even Anže Kopitar (our captain) messaged him after saying he needs to step-up his dress game
– q scored his first AHL goal on feb 17th 2021
– unfortunately, q went through a lot at the beginning: fractured ankle during preseason game (2021-22 season), covid right after recovery, and even sprained wrists (2023 season). because of this he moved up and down the AHL, the Ontario Reign, a lot before staying on the Kings roster at the middle of the 2023 season and beyond
– during q’s time in the AHL he was briefly on a line with Akil Thomas and Devante Smith-Pelly. this line was the first all black hockey line since the 40s. they combined for six points. quinton opened up the scoring and during the game Akil Thomas scored a natural hat trick
ID Top to Bottom
(1) Black and white photo of the Byfield family with balloons in celebration of Quinton being drafted by the Kings. They smile joyfully and pose with their arms around each other. Left to right: Nicole Kasper (mother), Quinton, Clinton (father), and Chloe (sister).
(2) Graphic depicting the California skyline. Overlaid is bold, pink, semi-transparent text that reads, “California Dreamin.”
Slide Four
text:
Whimsy!!!
– q is so clingy with his teammates it’s crazy. He would probably die without physical touch
– he uses purple grip tape and during practices he writes his name, with a smiley face, on a piece of tape and sticks it on his helmet! (he also wears a ‘Q’ necklace and owns a hat that says ‘QB’)
– didn’t know there was a top rack in the dishwasher until seven months ago, at the age of 22
– has his little rituals!!!! post -game hug and kiss with our goalie darcy :) he also hugs laf and gives kopi a big high five
– q would also get sprayed in the face, with water, during warmups by our other goalie rittich (gone in off season </3)
– he facetimes his mom when getting groceries to help pick out veggies
– extra: dressed as NWA with other black reign/kings players, dressed up as frozone on halloween. he also cannot be trusted cooking
interview image text:
- display of Byfield’s dishwasher-loading skills, a performance that brings laughter from Chloe who shares with the group that Byfield didn’t know until recently there was an upper rack in the dishwasher and once he did make the discovery wasn’t exactly sure what to do with it.
- “He was barbecuing, it went up in flames and he ran to the side of the house because he thought it was going to explode,” Chloe recalled. “I have the video.” Of course she does. / “ I think it was like one of my first times grilling, and my dad was trying to teach me, and he left me alone out there too long, and I started a fire,” Byfield recalled.
Various photos of Quinton Byfield to the right of the body text slightly overlapping each other.
ID Left to right, top to bottom:
(1) Aerial shot of Quinton Byfield and goalie Darcy Kuemper during their post-win ritual. They share a tight embrace, with Byfield planting a sweet smooch on the side of Kuemper’s mask.
(2) Former Kings goalie David Rittich (off-screen) standing by the bench and spraying Byfield with a water bottle for their pre-game ritual. Byfield is getting absolutely blasted, and grins under all the water dripping over his face.
(3) Kings teammates Alex Laferriere, Quinton Byfield, and Jordan Spence (former) posing in their group halloween costume. Each player is a different character from Pixar’s The Incredibles. Laferriere (left) is Elastigirl/Helen, he is in a brown wig and holds his arms out at the camera. Spence (right) is Dash, he is in a blond wig and leaning down. Byfield is Frozone/Lucius, he squats in front of the other two and has added a large gold chain around his neck.
(4) LA Kings/Ontario Reign teammates posing in their group halloween costume. They are dressed as hip-hop group NWA. Left to right: Brandt Clarke, Akil Thomas, Caleb Jones, Quinton Byfield, Andre Lee. All of them are in black street wear, caps, sunglasses, and have large gold chains — save for Brandt Clarke, who is, presumably, dressed as their manager Jerry Heller.
Clarke stands just in front of the group in a black trench coat, sunglasses and tie, while holding a bag. He looks very serious. Everyone else poses behind Clarke.
(5) Cropped photo of Byfield’s neck, a gold chain featuring a large “Q” letter pendant is pulled out over his hockey gear.
(6) Cropped photo of Byfield’s practice helmet. A piece of masking tape is secured to the front, written in black is, “Quinton” along with a smiley face.
Slide Five
text:
Post-Game Helmet Photos.
Slide Six
Three rows of photos from the 2024-25 Kings’ post-game tradition of posing with the Player of the Match in either a Lando Norris racer helmet or an LAFD firefighter helmet. Each photo is cropped to focus on Quinton Byfield getting silly with it. Of note: he is almost always shirtless.
ID of each photo, left to right:
TOP ROW:
(1) Warren Foegele in the Lando helmet making a hang 10 gesture, Quinton Byfield (shirtless) leaning into him, Alex Laferriere, Adrian Kempe making a shushing gesture, and a grinning Anže Kopitar sprawled across their laps.
(2) Half of Adrian Kempe’s face, Anže Kopitar in the Lando helmet, Quinton Byfield (shirtless) leaning into Kopitar and making a goofy face with his tongue sticking out of the side of his mouth, Alex Turcotte, and Warren Foegele in front.
(3) Quinton Byfield (chest protector still on!) with his eyes wide and tongue sticking out, Alex Laferriere balanced in his lap, and Phillip Danault on the right.
(4) Alex Laferriere, Tanner Jeannot making a peace sign, Quinton Byfield (shirtless) in the Lando helmet, Warren Foegele making a thumbs up gesture, and Kevin Fiala with his hand stretched all the way over to rest on Foegele’s thigh.
(5) Quinton Byfield (shirtless) with his hand on Darcy Kuemper’s thigh, Darcy Kuemper in the Lando helmet, David Rittich, and Tanner Jeannot.
(6) Brandt Clarke with his eyes half-shut, Alex Laferriere, Jordan Spence, and Quinton Byfield in front. Byfield is in Laferriere’s lap. Laferriere has his hands fisted very politely on Byfield’s waist. Byfield has is hand resting on Clarke’s inner thigh. Spence pinches one of Byfield’s nipples.
MIDDLE ROW:
(1) Quinton Byfield (shirtful…) on Jordan Spence’s lap. Spence has a hand on Byfield’s chest to anchor him in place. Phillip Danault is to their right in the Lando helmet.
(2) Trevor Moore looking like a startled animal, Phillip Danault, Kevin Fiala in the Lando helmet, Quinton Byfield leaning into and making a kissy face at Fiala, and Alex Laferriere sprawled across Byfield’s lap.
(3) Adrian Kempe in the Lando helmet, Anže Kopitar, and Quinton Byfield making a shushing gesture.
(4) Jordan Spence poking his head into frame, Vladislav Gavrikov, Darcy Kuemper in the Lando helmet, Quinton Byfield (shirtless) kissing the back of the helmet, Kyle Burroughs in his game day suit, Mikey Anderson, and Jacob Moverare with his head cradled in Burroughs’ arm. Below them: Kevin Fiala, Trevor Moore, the top of David Rittich’s head, and Joel Edmundson. A roll of pride tape rests on Quinton’s leg.
(5) Anže Kopitar, Quinton Byfield (shirtless) poking his tongue out the side of his mouth really far, and Kevin Fiala.
(6) Jordan Spence with his head poking into frame, Brandt Clarke making a flexing gesture while leaned against Quinton Byfield’s chest, Byfield (shirtless), Alex Laferriere also leaning into Byfield’s chest with a hand wrapped around to his inner thigh and holding his knee, and Kevin Fiala.
BOTTOM ROW:
(1) Kevin Fiala draped across several teammate’s laps. Quinton Byfield (shirtless) is behind and holding him while biting his cap.
(2) Kyle Burroughs in his game day suit sitting on Jacob Moverare’s lap, Mikey anderson, Darcy Kuemper in the LAFD helmet, Vladislav Gavrikov, Joel Edmundson. Below them: Tanner Jeannot, Quinton Byfield (shirtless) with Kevin Fiala AND Brandt Clarkle in his lap, Jordan Spence with his bottom lip pushed out, and Alex Laferriere tucked under Spence’s arm.
(3) Phillip Danault, Alex Laferriere with the LAFD helmet, and Adrian Kempe with his finger in Quinton Byfield’s ear. Jordan Spence holds Kevin Fiala securely, hand resting on his chest. Byfield (shirtless) pulls Fiala’s hair back to reveal his big forehead. Byfield grins with his whole face scrunched up in reaction to Kempe’s finger in his ear.
(4) Half of Kyle Burroughs in his game day suit, he is gripping Mikey Anderson’s left pec with determination. Quinton Byfield (shirtless) is on the right, leaning into Anderson and holding his inner thigh.
(5) Andrei Kuzmenko in the LAFD helmet, Quinton Byfield smiling with big dimples at the camera, Alex Laferriere, a cropped Kevin Fiala sprawled across their laps, and the top of Phillip Danault’s head.
(6) MANY Kings players posing, but most importantly at the center is Quinton Byfield (shirtless) with Kevin Fiala in his lap. Byfield is twisting his nipples through his shirt from behind.
Slide Seven
text:
The Whimsy Continues
– has a bowtie collection !!! loves em. during a pre-draft interview someone asked him about it and he said this started when he was little. regular ties are too tight around his neck, he feels closed off. q has over 30 bowties
– loves his dog Dudley to death
– q scored in overtime at st. louis and did a train-horn motion while yelling “boom” five times whilst The Rizzler, Big Justice, and A.J. were there. they met after the game
– Tampa and the Pens were his favorite teams growing up. he also spent a lot of time climbing trees as a kid
– chloe bleached his hair for his junior hockey team
– q is a centerman, but, at one point when he was younger he was a d-man. during this time he looked up to Sergei Gonchar, so much so he chose his 55 number because of him
interview image text:
- Chloe, who is a court reporter in downtown Toronto often working on high profile criminal cases, was once called upon to dye Byfield’s hair for a junior playoff run. / “He said I burnt his skull,” Chloe said barely containing her glee at the memory. “I just kept slathering it on and he’s like, ‘stop, stop.’ And I’m like, I need to get it lighter. Just grit your teeth. Suck it up. It builds character.’”
Various photos of Quinton Byfield to the right of the body text slightly overlapping each other.
ID Left to right:
TOP ROW:
(1) Quinton Byfield standing in his driveway in a Sudbury Wolves cap holding his beagle, Dudley, who has a tennis ball in his mouth. Byfield is smiling warmly at Dudley, partly obscured by the dog’s head.
(2) Blurry photo of Byfield with his eyes half closed and Dudley resting peacefully at his side.
(3) Photo of the walk-in tunnel at Crypto.com Arena, a bunch of people in Kings jerseys surround Quinton Byfield and a small child known as The Rizzler. Byfield and The Rizzler are mid-handshake.
BOTTOM ROW:
(1) Byfield taking a photo in Kings gear celebrating his Draft. He grins and poses with Dudley in his arms.
(2) Byfield cuddled up with Dudley on a sofa. Dudley has a red Santa suit on and Byfield wears a Santa Hat with two white braids hanging off the sides. His eyes are shut, his mouth is pouted
(3) Image from a photo shoot. Byfield is shot from the back, standing in the sun with his shirt off. His skin is shiny with sweat.
Slide Eight
text:
Little Facts
– q steals everyones clothes and items. there are so many photos of him stealing his teammates stuff
– one thanksgiving he spent it with the Kopitar's; him and a few other of the younger players. because kopi is from Slovenia he keeps in contact with other pro Slovenia athletes, this lead to Luka Dončić being at that thanksgiving. q was starstruck
– q got a crazy one handed goal against the kraken (shhh he wasn’t holding…)
– you will rarely catch a photo of him with a shirt on. event? It’s coming off.
– everyone is charmed by him. he’s the guy!!!
– for a good while q was using a too-short stick to play. he’d be HUNCHED OVER playing
– he was also chosen to go to team Canada’s Olympic orientation camp for the 2026 games
Various photos of Quinton Byfield to the right of the body text slightly overlapping each other.
ID Left to right:
TOP ROW:
(1) Screencap of a match between the LA Kings and the Seattle Kraken. Quinton Byfield stands in front of the Kraken goal and is engaged in a battle for body position. Byfield has his arms splayed out in a T-pose, one hand holds his stick and the other hand is fastened to the Kraken skater’s stick. Not pictured: the fact that he will actually score a goal during this play.
(2) Byfield in a #21 Kings hoodie belonging to then-teammate Jordan Spence.
MIDDLE ROW:
(1) Byfield during an interview with Daryl Evans in a #61 Kings hoodie belonging to then-teammate Trevor Lewis
(2) Byfield grinning wide while wearing a #80 Kings hoodie belonging to then-teammate Pierre-Luc Dubois
BOTTOM ROW:
(1) Warren Foegele, Quinton Byfield, and Anže Kopitar posing together, each of them in white pressed button downs and holding plastic cups of beer. Foegele has heart framed sunglasses perched on top of his head and his shirt half unbuttoned. Byfield has his shirt fully unbuttoned, he has his arms around Foegele and Kopitar’s shoulders to draw them close for the photo. Kopitar smiles with his haunted eyes. A text reads “fellas” while tagging both Warren and Anže in the photo.
(2) Black and white photo of Quinton Byfield exchanging a gloved high-five with an unidentified teammate, who is obscured by Warren Foegele skating by.
Slide Nine
On a background of a pink, purple, and yellow tinted sunset photo, text reads, “That’s All!!!”
Above the text is a stretched out Byfield family Christmas photo.
ID Left to right:
Quinton in a striped elf hat and holding Dudley who is wearing a soft red collar with white pom-poms, Clinton in a Santa hat, and Chloe in the same elf hat as Quinton as well as a gaudy Christmas sweater.
tags!!! @kitebird-hockey
ID
Title slide:
The title slide has a gray background. The white text reads; A studious guide to that other-other california team... The LA Kings (the la kings is between two doodle drawings of the kings logo)
Background: (slide 2)
established in 1967
known for being that team wayne gretzky was traded to
has the dumbest arena name in the history of the nhl (wtf is cyrpto.com arena!? i only know the staple centre)
has 2 stanley cups (2011-12 & 2013-14)
long standing rivalry with the other cali teams, but what is that if not a toxic polycule?
speaking of toxic relationships. they are stuck in a timelopp with the oilers that’s been going on for the past 4 years (aka the kings and oilers have played each other 4 time in the first round in the last 4 years and kings kings have lost every single time (PAIN and DESPAIR))
photo ids:
1. A photo of crypto.com arena with an arrow pointing to it saying "ugly & stupid. Below this there is a photo of the staple centre with an arrow pointing to it saying "beautiful & lifeful" 2. from left to right, with arms around each other at the 2012 cup parade: jonathan quick, unidentified player (sorry), captain dustin brown (who is holding the stanley cup above his head) and anze kopitar (who is also helping hold the cup) 3. 3.1: oilers players embracing in the background while in the foreground kopitar is skating by with his head down disappointed / 3.2: Anze Kopitar and Connor McDavid shaking hands / 3.3 Anze Kopitar and Connor McDavid shaking hands, again
New Guys: (slide 3)
Joel Armina
ex-hab
drafted 16th in 2011
rw
large
Photo id: joel armina in habs gear skating
Corey Perry
ex-oiler
injured. out for 6-8 weeks
idk dude. we shall see where this signing takes us
rw
drafted 28th in 2003
Photo id: corey perry in oilers gear looking up
Cody Ceci
ex-star (wanted to stay there but it didn’t work out)
defender / drafted 15th in 2012
cringe fail guy of sharksblr and now kingsblr <3
Photo id: cody ceci in stars gear
Brian Dumoulin
ex-dev / defender
Drafted 51st in 2009
Locked in one day and learnt how to cook
when he played for the pens he was a little in love with kris letang but who can blame him?
when he played for the kraken he was a little in love with kailer yamamoto but again, who can blame him?
Photo id: brian dumoulin in devs gear
Anton Forsberg
188th in 2011
ex-sen
May not have been as good as ullmark but boy did he have a lot of love in his body he will fight right in perfectly
Photo id: Anton Forsberg with his sens themed helmet sitting on top of his head smiling
Forwards: (slide 4)
Quinton Byfield
Centre
2nd overall in 2020
Turning out to be a solid shutdown centre (the second coming of kopitar to kings fans)
Main character of the kings, as he should be
Did the 5 big booms after he scored, when the costco guys were at a game
Always shirtless postgame
Will hug or kiss his teammates ESPECIALLY his goalie
Named after quentin taratino
Crowned goofball by jordan spence
Phillip Danualts son (real) [photo id: there is a purple arrow pointing to a tweet by the la kings that is a quote by philip danault; "I love these guys. They're like my kids. I have two kids, but, four with them" 🖤😭 ]
Photo id: 1. Quinton Byfield with his hands on his hips his body is facing the right but his head and upper chest is facing the camera. there is a silly look on his face while he wears a silly hat. / 2. QB smiling after he scored his helmet is charmingly tilted on his head / 3. a 0.5 shot of QB from above with his tongue sticking out / 4. a photo of quinton engulfing goalie darcy kuemper in a hug.
Note (not on the slide): if you would like to know more about QB here is an amazing primer created by @l0v3p0tions
Phillip Danault
Centre
Assistant Captain
26th overall in 2011
Very good chemistry with the team
Known for eating pizza after eliminating the jets and knights in the 2021 playoffs
Father of Quintin Byfield and Jordan Spence (real)
uncs still got it
every fun relationship with kopi (they’re watching the kids and encouraging their chaos together!!) [photo id: Anže Kopitar (left) and Phillip Daunalt (right) standing shoulder to shoulder. Kopitar is leaning into Phillip laughing at something said]
Photo id: 1. Phillip Danault smiling holding a fish up to the camera with 2 hands / 2. Phillip with his hand up showing off his pizza slice with a smirk Photo id: in the centre of the page there is a photo of Phillip Danault hugging Quinton Byfield around the torso, both smiling
Slide 5:
Kevin Fiala
LW
Drafted 11th overall in 2014
One of the best moustaches in the league
Although he shaved it last season and it was scary!!
Nickname: fifi
he loves the penalty box. sadly
immediately became friends with kuzy when he joined the team last season
kingsblrs local 2005 BMW 325i
besties (and chewtoy) to qb
whenever he’s playing international hockey he is seemingly always in situations. idk dude just look at this man [photo id:a purple arrow is pointing to two photos: photo 1 is Kevin in an intimate hug with David Pastrňák. photo 2; a team USA booping kevins nose]
Photo id: 1. a snapshot of kevin fiala in warm up smiling / 2. Kevin Fiala hysterically smiling holding a fish from it's gills / 3. Andrey Kuzmenko with a big grin hugging fifi from the side around the shoulders / 4. a png cut out of a 2005 BMW 325i / 5. fifi lying in QB lap with QB chewing on kevins hat.
Warren Foegele
LW
67th overall in 2014
they call him woegele on account of his woes
they also call him woegele on account of him always falling on the ice
got married this off season and the whole kings team (2024-25) was there which was really sweet :)
Trains in the off season with qb
Face of oscar the grouch but is very nice
foegdaddy
Photo id: 1. warren skating along getting highfives from his teammates after scoring / 2. foegs holding up a fish smiling / 3. there are three blurred screenshots of warren falling on the ice (x, x, x) / 4. a blurred photo with warren jumping in the air and qb is looking on
Slide 6:
Anže Kopitar
Centre
Captain
11th overall in 2005
Known for being Slovenian
Noted old man (/vet, he’s been here since 2006)
Retiring at the end of the season (crying)
Incredible shutdown centerman
Has over 1200 career points and 2 stanley cups
Goth gf to kingsblr but also raccoon jesus
Cuntiest mf on the ice. the neckguard + tinted visor is perfection
Should win the selke every single year (note: he as won it twice in 2015-16 & 2017-18)
probably going to win the lady byng again
also he never really gets penalties and if he does it’s the other players fault never kopi’s
Photo id: 1. a photo taken from the back with Kopitar's side profile on display with his head turned to the left / 2. Kopi reaching to move hair out of his face / 3. a black and white photo with kopi smirking, there is a red arrow pointing to a picture of a cat with the same smirk / 4. Kopitar looking off in the distance with his tinted visor and neck guard visible and beautiful
Samuel Helenius
Centre
Drafted 57th in 2021
Tall (6’6 / 198cm)
Son of ex-player sami helenius
up and down in the ahl & nhl
shaved his head
Photo id: 1. Sammy's headshot this season displaying his shaved head / 2. Samuel Helenius raising his hockey stick to salute to crowd after getting first star of the night / 3. Sammy leaning his arm against glass with his hip popped out
Jeff Malott
LW
undrafted
ROBBED of his first nhl goal last season
his older brother mike, is in the ufc
Photo id: 1. Jeff with one of his knees raised, pumped up, yelling with joy / 2. A photo taken from the side showing off jeffs profile while he looks down at the ice
Slide 7:
Adrian Kempe
RW
29th overall in 2014
If the kings do not sign this glorious man next season i will be taking drastic action
juice!!
in my heart he is still an alternate captain (he had an A at the start of last season when doughty was out)
eats banana tacos [photo id: there is a purple arrow pointing to adrian kempe's story of a banana taco]
at the start of last season he was on a line with alex laferriere & anze kopitar. and they were called the battery pack line by kingsblr. this was the kings answer to the nuclear family dynamic
Photo id: 1. kempe sitting in a chair with the swedish flag projected over him / 2. a png cut out of apple juice / 3. adrian kempe in practice resting a hand on his hip / 4. adrian looking down playing with a puck and light beams around him
Andrey Kuzmenko
LW
Undrafted
Signed with the canucks in 2022, was then traded to Calgary in 2024, played 7 games with the flyers and now he’s here <3
He spells his name like andrey so I encourage people to do the same. even though his name is commonly spelt like andrei
he is very smiley and loves yapping to his teammates
was immediately he put on the first like with kopi and juice forming yet another triple a line
Photo id: 1. Andrey smiling while getting interviewed / 2. Kuzy in practice reaching his hand out for a fist bump with someone out of frame / 3. a photo angled up with kuzy stepping off the ice / 4. kuzy with his hands behind his head smiling photo id: adrian kempe looking sturn while andrey kuzmenko is behind him about of hug him with an expression of pure joy
Slide 8:
Alex Laferriere
RW
Drafted 83rd in 2020
went to Harvard and majoring in psychology (he has not graduated yet but i think he might this season (?))
He continued to peruse his degree in case this hockey thing goes to shit
plays up and down the lines kinda a lot but he’s just a good all-rounder no matter the line (this goes for both alex’s)
ragebaiter on the ice
known for getting in a fight on his debut and absolutely bodying logan o’connor
he HATED skating when he was younger so his big sister had to bribe him with skittles
has a very cute post win hug tradition with qb
Photo id: 1. laffy with a chuffed expression undoing his helmet strap / 2. laffy in practice smiling / 3. a png cut out of laffy taffy (the lolly) / 4. a photo taken from behind laffy of hima nd qb hugging, qb's face is peeking out over laffy's shoulder kissing laffy on the side of his helmet
Alex Turcotte
Centre but is typically made a winger
5th overall in 2019
Son of ex-player alfie turcotte
Was part of local hockey cult USNDPT
this guys whole career has been plague with injuries (shoulder injury after wjc + acute appendicitis AND 2 major concussion in a short time period (that still effects him (re:tinted visor)))
Might be haunted by ex-roommate/teammate jordan spence but that has yet to be determined
His nickname my be turcs but everybody knows it’s actually turkey
one of his favourite past times is posting on instagram and also annoying warren foegele
Has yet to score a goal at home (trust. he will this season)
Photo id: a motion blurred selfie (from left to right) of laffy, turkey, jordan spence and kevin fiala drunk at warren foegele's wedding / 2. a png cut out of a turkey / 3. Alex Turcotte pumped up after scoring raising his left knee towards his chest
Slide 9:
Akil Thomas
Centre
Drafted 51st in 2018
Plays up and down in the ahl & nhl and when he is in the nhl he’s usually a healthy scratch (jim hiller i am throwing rocks at your house)
He is cooler than you. sorry!!
Co-owner and founder of clothing brand Zale Apparel. A company he started at age 15
he also finished high school early and started attending classes at brock university when he was 17
Scored the golden goal for team canada in the 2020 wjc
got sent down the the ahl but we ignore that (in my heart he is in the starting line up)
Photo id: 1. a photo angled up at akil of him in a la kings shirt / 2. a png of the Zale Apparel logo which is the prongs of a trident / 3. Akil focusing on a puck ready to catch it with his stick
Trevor Moore
LW
Undrafted
Signed with Toronto then was traded to the kings yay!!
Thousand Oaks legend Trevor Moore
may not be the golden boy of the kings but fans love him because he’s from cali and grew up a kings fan (his family were and still are kings season ticket holders last I heard)
Photo id: 1. Trevor walking out of the tunnel / 2. a cropped map of california with a pin over thousand oaks
Defenders: (slide 10)
Mikey Anderson
103rd overall in 2017
Defensive-defenceman
Assistant Captain no more (same deal as kempe)
If people knew what was good for them mikey would be a Norris finalist every single year
He’s the younger brother to joey anderson who is a hawks player
mikeys nhl debut against his brother (who was on the devs at the time)
I will miss you gavrikov-anderson pairing. good luck in nyr gravy
Photo id: a side shot of mikey anderson with light beaming around him
Kyle Burroughs
Drafted 196th overall in 2013
Another man with a glorious moustache
Was revealed freak last season after he was pictured gripping mikey anderson in a kings post win helmet picture
but I think he’s just a freak for mikey. i mean I can’t blame the guy
injured
Photo id: 1. Kyle Burroughs sitting next to mikey with his arm over mikey's shoulder gripping his peck / 2. a black and white photo of kyle's side profile
Slide 11:
Brandt Clarke
Drafted 8th in 2021
The cringe fail loser of the kings
Younger brother of graeme clarke
probably going to be the 7th defender even though he should be a main stay
compared to drew doughty a lot, yk no pressure
chronic yapper and ragebaiter
kingsblr loves bullying this man but we do it out of love <3
Had lots of trade rumours last season. that was scary
Carpools with kopi
Used to billet with jonathan quick and always played goalie against quick’s kids
Photo id: 1. a shot from the back of clarkey getting engulfed in a hug by his teammates / 2. a photo of clarkey smiling / 3. a black and white photo of clarkey lock in at practice
Drew Doughty
Drafted 2nd in 2008
Assistant captain
Won the Norris in 2015-16
One of the greatest defenders of this era
Known for having no teeth
he’s not as he used to be still good but not the most reliable so we shall see what happens this season
some days he is more of a haunting presence than a player
Photo id: 1. a png cut out of drews headshot showing off his missing teeth / 2. a black and white photo of drew, hyped, yelling at the camera for media day
Slide 12:
Joel Edmundson
46th overall in 2011
Yes! It does get confusing when this man plays edmonton because his last name sounds so similar
loves the LA weather
Photo id: 2 different photos of joel skating on the ice in pre-game warm up
Jacob Moverare
Drafted 112th in 2016
Was part of the Swedish League so there lots of silly (/amazing) photos of him when he was younger (example)
Looked up to alex elder as a kid and called him the “Swedish godfather”
He doesn’t really play and is usually a healthy scratch or down in the ahl
Photo id: a headshot of jacob pre-game absolutely lock in / 2. jacob laughing at something out of frame in practice
Goalie: (slide 13)
Darcy Kuemper
Drafted 161st in 2009
This is his second going with the king
And the kings getting this glorious man back is the best thing that ever happened
It also allowed him to refind his groove after years of turmoil
Gets smooched post-game after a win by qb
Was a venzina finalist last season and got 3rd in voting but in my heart he got 1st
Goodbye double d goalie pairing. you were iconic while we had you
Last season we were robbed of kuemper vs swayman goalie fight
Photo id: 1. a goat with a tiara, a pink boa and pink dangle earrings (x) / 2. an overhead shot of QB and darcy hugging with QB kissing the side of darcy's helmet / 3. Darcy about to hug his ex-goalie partner David Rittich in a hug / 4. Darcy with his helmet on top of his head laughing
Prospects (goalies): (slide 14)
Carter George
Drafted 57th in 2024
The sweetheart of kingsblr
Grew up a kings and Jonathan Quick fan
Speaking of Jonathan Quick. He is jonathan quick reincarnated
Dragged his junior team to the playoffs last season also carried team canada at wjc last year
Sings in the crease
Cruel and unusual punishment that we are sending him back to owen attack sound
Photo id: 1. Carter along with another person holding a sign that says "carter george 4 mayor" / 2. Carter with a big grin on his face
Hampton Slukynsky
Drafted 118th in 2023
WJC 2025 gold medal (usa)
playing for western michigan uni
Photo id: a side profile shot of Hampton Slukynsky with his cheeks flushed, helmet sat on top of his head
Petteri Rimpinen
Drafted 125th in 2024
plays for Kiekko-Espoo in finland
WJC 2025 silver medal and the future of finnish goaltending
Photo id: Petteri Rimpinen with his helmet on top of is head reaching for his water bottle
Prospects: (last slide)
Liam Greentree
Drafted 26th in 2025
captain of the windsor spitfires
RW
Photo id: liam greentree just drafted in a kings jersey
Will Sharpe
Drafted 216th in 2025
WHL boy
drinks mustard
defender
Photo id: will sharpe squirting mustard into his mouth pre-game
Henry Brzustewicz & Jared Woolley
Photo id: the 'frequently bought together, do not separate them' meme with a picture of Henry Brzustewicz in london knights gear + Jared Woolley in a kings jersey in his post-draft interview
END ID
hello, if you're reading this here are some other links and tidbits for your viewing pleasure
LA Kings 2024-25 post game win helmet photos (tiktok link)
lore to the kings x lando norris helmet (note: after the la fires they did switch to a firefighter helmet for home wins)
qb + darcy kissies 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
qb + laffy hugs 1, 2, 3
blinkie by @laffyparty (link)
okay, i straight up forgot to make this slide but the kings have a youth movement that is characterised by players drafted in 2018 and younger, who have trouble getting ice time due to coach jim hiller not trusting them even though they have proven themselves many times people this renaissance include:
quinton byfield
alex turcotte
alex laferriere
brandt clarke
akil thomas
samuel helenius
andre lee (here is my youth renaissance primer from last season that has more on adree lee)
ex-member; jordan spence who was traded to the sens this off season
and honorary member; warren foegele. he's just always kinda there
how to start following the team
the teams social medias
tiktok
La kings media homepage
la kings daily, this is a fan run account that updates on kings games, roster moves and all that jazz (instagram, twitter)
zach dooley, he follows the kings and reports on them (twitter)
la kings podcast
note: if you would like to start liveblogging kings games the tag is lak lb
the kopi and quickie moment...the tears in my eyes are happy ones i swear
exactly
he’s so funny…