CHAPTER 07
Late evening had crept in by the time we left that unsavory place, but who knew what dastardly deeds Larry had in store for that poor granny and innocent little girl! We had no time to waste.
“Norman, these woods are scary dark, are you sure this was a good idea?”
And, unfortunately, no time to drop off a certain fussy fox back home first.
“Sure I’m sure! Now, according to this here map, Larry Lemonade’s abode should be, uh.” I had to squint. This map was detailed, but the lighting conditions in the forest this time of day weren’t great. “Here.”
“Oh, you mean the part circled in bright red? How-ever did you figure that out? Master detective, indeed.”
“Hey! You were the one who insisted on coming along, I could do without the sass and ridicule, thank you very much.”
I heard Felix sigh.
“I’m sorry, Norman. I’m just so scared!” I felt him clutching the sleeve of my coat. At least, I hoped that was Felix clutching my coat.
“Pull yourself together, man!” I scolded, not taking my eyes off of the map I very well may have bargained my life away for. “A fox afraid of the woods, don’t be ridiculous.”
“It isn’t so much the woods I’m afraid of.”
At this my usually clamorous comrade became quiet, bent against the bulk of my being as if the guy wanted to tackle me to the ground. He didn’t, naturally. Where Felix had me with his heightened stature, I, on the other hand, was the muscle. A sturdy force that wouldn’t be swayed and punched about like a boxer’s sandbag!
It was with this thought I nearly fell to the ground, as I had tripped over a root. Stupid tree, somebody should fine whoever had the rights to the property!
“Norman, be more careful!”
This, of course, was Fox’s way of worrying-- scalding more than a boiling pot of water. I suppose I couldn’t be too perturbed by the guy-- it was his grip that prevented my fall, after all. Felix pulled me to my feet, dusting me off and acting like some pesky preening hen.
“Would you cut that out already?! Sheesh!” I cried, frustrated in equal parts from being annoyed as I was embarrassed. Not that he needed to know the latter. “It’s hard to focus when you’re all up on me, you know!”
This got him to back off, if only enough to fold his arms and “Hmph” at me.
I’d take it.
“And here I was under the assumption your attention was compromised by not watching where you’re going.”
I wanted to retort, but found I had none to give. Felix had a point, this time. I needed to pay close attention to our map, lest we end up lost in a dark, dangerous forest. But that left me open to a whole new world of dangers.
“Alright, fine, tell you what. I’ll keep an eye on the map, you keep two on the path. Got it?”
“Make sure you don’t walk straight into the trunk of a tree or off a cliff, got it.”
I ignored his unimpressed sarcasm.
“Good! Now let’s go.”
___
Our little chat didn’t keep my clingy companion at distance for very long, as soon he was right beside me again, latched onto my arm like a frightened child. But I was too fired up to mind now, we were closing in on our target! Just a little farther, clear this last line of trees, this was it, I could practically taste the prevailing justice!
“And here we are, Felix! We’ve finally come too...” I lowered the map, and my mood was instantly soured. “A really, really, big rock.”
Oh, I was furious!
“We’ve been tricked! Bamboozled! Made a fool of!”
I crumpled up the useless sheet of paper into a ball and chucked it into the clearing. This piece of garbage had only led up to a dead end.
Quite frankly, I was ready to burn down the whole forest just to easily make it back home, already turning to leave, when I was stopped by a firm hand on my shoulder. Felix had spun me back around, facing the large mountainside once more. I turned my head to glare at him.
“What?” I questioned with a bitter bite. “If you plan on having me look at this just so you can compare it to your rock collection at home, Felix, I swear--!”
I wasn’t allowed the chance to finish my threat, as my roommate-- having looked as unimpressed as I’ve ever seen him-- forcefully turned my head to the right. There, right smack in the darkness, chiseled into the side of the stone…
“Oh, a door.”
If it was a bug it would have bit me. Instead the homemade cave did nothing whatsoever, as I instead had to deal with that annoying air of smug satisfaction radiating off of the fox behind me. I smacked the hands still on me with the back of my paw, grumbling.
“Yeah, well. I would have noticed it eventually.”
Felix opened his mouth to reply-- sass no doubt waiting to spill like bile from his lips. Mr. Know-it-all wasn’t given the chance, as I pulled out my gun from my breast pocket.
“Shh. You can gloat later. Now we need to split up-- to have the advantage, you know.” Larry wouldn’t be expecting TWO people after him. He probably didn’t know Felix existed! I went on. “I’ll take the front, you round to the back to see if you can find another way inside. We good? Good!”
I pushed myself through the tall grass, ready to pounce upon whatever lied within the cavern walls. My dramatics was choked out just as much as my patience, because Felix was grabbing onto my sleeve again! Sweet Mother Goose, I was going to lose it! What? What else was there to say? We found the hiding hoodlum hoarding hostages, and my fingers twitched to get to the closure of the case!
Of course, I didn’t get a chance to say any of this. No. Felix had to even go and ruin my irked ire, as all smugness was swept off his face. Instead he was scrunched with a pained desperation as he gently gave me one final demand:
“Be safe. Please. Or I’ll never forgive you, Norman D. Wolf.”
And you know what… I believed him.
We parted ways then, Felix disappearing around the bend as I sidled up to the rocky cliff side, my back pressed up against it until I was certain I’d successfully blended into the shadows. I slipped my way silently toward the door, my paw finding the handle, fully expecting to find it locked up tight.
As luck would have it, it was not. The nob turned easily, and without a sound, I slipped inside.
Larry’s abode was what one might expect of a cave ... rock walls, dirt floor, sparse furniture. And the furnishings that were there were shabby at best. It was hard to believe some guys lived like this.
My critique on this guy’s home decor would have to be put on hold, as I heard him speaking from the next room over. Who could he be speaking to? Had he caught Felix? Was he chatting with his newly pilfered people? I had to find out.
The closer I got to the curtain separating the front part of the cavern from the rest, the easier things became to understand. Larry was chuckling now, and I peeped from behind it to see that scoundrel slumped into a chair-- feet propped up on a table in a way that would have made the mothers of the world seethe with rage. Larry twirled the cord of the phone between his boney digits, as he spoke into the receiver.
“Ah ah, Mr. Fawcett, I should think this is hardly the time for such language. Especially with your mother and daughter within the next room.”
This crooked creep was all teeth, smiling in sheer amusement as he pulled the phone away from his ear. Even I winced at the intensity of the screams on the line, we wolves being sensitive to that sort of thing. Larry Lemonade, however, didn’t look a lick bothered-- putting the phone back once things calmed down.
“Such a way with words, sir. A genuine hoot and a half. Haha! I could even tell you a few jokes of my own, but… I think you’d prefer we talked business instead.“
Amusement had turned serious, and the change in the guy was enough to cause even a hardened detective like myself to shiver from my hiding place. Yeah that… that was the sour of his alias, alright. It was while wondering why HE hadn’t been given my nom de plume, when Larry spoke again.
“Oh, good! I’m glad we’re on the same page. It’s far better for us to be friends than enemies, you know. SO, let’s talk about what you want. Clearly you want them returned sooner than later-- unharmed. Outside of a few tears-- unfortunate, but it happens-- they’re both safe. For now. Who knows what the future holds!”
Another laugh.
“Are you a betting man, Charlie? You mind if I call you Charlie, seeing as we’re best pals now. You don’t come across as a guy who plays games, Chuck-- sorry, we’re going with Chuck now. Charlie was still too formal.”
I couldn’t tell if this was him toying with the man, or if Larry just loved the sound of his own voice. I’d believe both, though that didn’t matter in the end. I was just about ready to spring from my hiding place-- just to get the wicked wolf to cease his ramblings-- when Larry started up again.
“So, Chuck, you don’t play games. But you’re a buyer, you buy things that people desperately want at a higher price than warranted. It’s enough to make a thief like me feel INSPIRED! So I thought to myself: well, you want your family… how much are you willing to pay for them?”
I really should have known this had been Larry’s reason for granny-napping this entire time. Of course it was all about the money! But at least that likely meant the two were just as unharmed as he’d said.
Likely, but not definitely.
“Oh, ouch, is that all your family is worth to you, Mr. Fawcett? Such a shame. Care to try again?”
No, correction, this wasn’t just about the money. Larry was enjoying this little game, that slimy scoundrel.
“Ah! Now we’re getting warmer! You get one more try. I’m feeling generous tonight.”
Oohh, it’s no-good creeps like this that make my blood boil!
“There we are, that’s a number we can both agree on! You have until noon tomorrow to gather and send me the funds. Otherwise, well ... I’m sure I can find another buyer more eager than yourself. Tootles, Mr. Fawcett!”
He severed the connection and I knew it was the perfect time to strike! I had the element of surprise on my side.
“I really wish you’d call before you visit, detective. Really, some guys can be so rude.”
One surprise became another, as the curtain I was hiding behind was thrust open. I nearly toppled over my feet trying to back away, and Larry Lemonade, in all his sadistic glory, smiled at this as he cooed:
“Peek-a-boo, I see you.”
“I, b-but, but HOW?” I stammered out, taking another step back. Larry was drawn from the room, following every step. He tapped his nose, chuckling in amusement.
“All the better to smell you with. Really, you stink of lavender-- my compliments to whoever does your laundry.”
…..
Felix.
I would need to have a word with my roommate’s habit of putting me between a rock and a hard place-- or in this case, a cave and a deranged delinquent. But that would be later, if there would even BE a later. I had my doubts on getting out of this in one piece-- there was no telling what a dirty dealing guy like him would do to someone like me.
It was as Larry took another step forward did I remember an important detail to my arrival. I had something this crook did not-- and I didn’t mean my sense of justice. I whipped out my tranquilizer gun I had hiding in my pocket, finding my confidence once more.
“Alright, Larry. Don’t take another step forward. I’m warning ya!”
That certainly wiped that smug grin off his maw. In fact, it was replaced by one of venom-- even as he kept up his joking.
“Poor form, detective. Pulling out a weapon on a harmless man. For shame.”
“Nothing, and I mean, NOTHING about you is harmless, ya creep.”
The mad wolf across from me dared to take another step closer, foolishly calling my bluff, the sneer on his face told me he didn’t think I had the guts. Oh, I had the guts, alright. And the aim to back it up!
“Aw come now, I’m not such a bad guy!”
I swear, this guy must have super powers, because the next thing I knew, I was staring down the barrel of my own gun. To out-speed even my quick reflexes, well, give credit where it’s due. That was impressive.
“Or maybe I am.”
With a glare on my face-- and more rage than Hera discovering her husband bought flowers for another woman-- I didn’t have a second thought as I snatched my gun right back!
This became a game of sorts, the two of us surprising the other as we took back the weapon. It was in my corner. Then his.
Mine.
His.
Mine.
I had snatched it for a final time, holding the gun over my head in triumph, when Larry tackled me to the ground. I oofed, knowing my back was going to feel it slamming into stone come morning. For now, however, I had other things to worry about-- my claws clutching the piece with everything I had. (And perhaps some I didn’t.)
Larry and I rolled on the floor-- I may have had the strength his gangly frame couldn’t provide, but the guy was like dancing with a wet noodle. That was to say: he slipped and slithered about! It was hard to keep a grip on him even as I tried cradling the gun close to my person. I was doing a good job, too.
That is, until I felt tedious teeth tattering through my sleeve with a single bite.
The gun was tossed across the room in the process as I yelled.
“YIPE!”
Tears blurring my vision; but even with such a handicap, I could see that no-good louse attempting to scurry to his feet. I didn’t let him, jumping on top of Larry and using him as a springboard to the other side of the room.
Landing right in front of the gun.
I scooped it up and with lightning speed I spun around, gun at the ready. Larry was already advancing on me. I swear, the only guy I’d ever seen smile in the face of a firearm.
“Is the Big Bad Wolf going to shoot me in my own home? Heh heh. I don’t think you have the--”
Oh, I had the! And I proved it by pulling the trigger.
Larry stopped in his tracks, and frowned at the tranquilizer dart stick out of his shoulder.
“Nighty night, Larry Lemonade.”
Larry took one more step forward, and then fell forward like a freshly chopped tree.
It was strange, the silence that followed after a tussle. The way the echos dissipated into nothing, leaving you aware of yourself. I merely panted, gun going limp at my side as I just processed everything.
I…
I had won.
This may not been my first rodeo, in regards to cases, but this was the first BIG one. One worth writing home about. (That is, if there was anyone worth writing to.) It was one that MATTERED. It showed my valor and competence in the face of danger!
And it was going to be one heck of a story.
It was with this on my mind that I sauntered into the other room, picking up the phone from its place on the wooden table. Standing proud, I spoke into the receiver:
“Yes, operator: I would like to make a call to the FTPD. Tell the police the Big Bad Wolf found the Fawcetts.”
