｡𖦹°‧⋆˚࿔ it was you all along | l.r
༄.° a jealous lara raj can’t help herself when it comes to you. her rumour spreads fast and strains more than just relationships.
❝ let me know if this is careless
baby, i can’t hurt you, sure, but i’m the jealous type ❞
꩜.ᐟ 💞
༄.° genre: college au! roomates, friends to lovers, angst, misunderstanding, happy ending
༄.° || obsessed!lara raj x conflicted!f!reader
⤷ mdni || not proofread
༄.° a/n || something short for now, still working on pages and points as per poll results but it might take some time bc i have my own academic essays to write unfortunately. kisses, brooklynn
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lara raj was ethereal to say the least. girls fawning over her constantly, there wasn’t a day where your dorm’s doormat wasn’t covered with bouquets for the one and only raj.
you laugh under your breath and pick the bouquet up.
would really love a chance xo - for: lara r
the card was short and sweet, your hand turning the knob as you enter. “another one.” you say, waving the flowers in your hands.
lara chuckles, leaning back against her pillows. the attention was nice, she’d admit. but there was only one person who really caught her eye, one person she’d do anything to be with.
“you can keep them y’know, you deserve flowers more than i do.”
lara wasn’t sure if she was obvious, but god had she been trying to drop hints like her life depended on it.
“yea? is lara raj trying to get into my panties?”
more than you knew.
“quit the sweet talk, i’m flattered.” you continue, filling the vase with water and placing the lily’s inside.
“so.. you and carter seem pretty close.. thought you said she never looks at you.”
you laugh and shake your head. carter. the absolute love of your life. the growing crush you had since sophomore year of college. she was perfect, not flawed like you were, amazing in all the ways you weren’t.
“we recently got assigned a project together and holy shit larz, she’s so cool.” you couldn’t help yourself, the girl was even prettier up close.
lara’s jaw tightened, her love for you had been evident ever since the end of freshman year. but she’d loved you for longer. carter wasn’t the one you cried on, confided in, spent time with. it was all lara. supportive, respectful, lara. the one you barely saw as more than a friend. the one who wanted nothing more than to be noticed by you.
“i bet she was.. what’s so good about carter anyway?” she spat out, shutting herself up once she realized how bad it came out.
“lara..” you pause, mind scanning the various reasons why carter was more than good. “she’s just carter.. you know?”
she didn’t know. carter. a stupid name for a stupid girl.
“heard she’s a player.”
“guess there’s only way to find out.” you smile, optimistic and confident.
“and if she breaks your heart?”
“guess you can finally say that you told me so.”
“y/n, you don’t need to put yourself in pain. heartbreaks suck. why’d you want to voluntarily experience it firsthand..”
“life, experiences, learning lessons i suppose.. it’s worth it larz. if this spirals into something more i can die happy.”
lara stared at you in silence, her lingering gaze had you feeling nervous. she finally turned around, covers coming up and the light turning off. “night y/n.”
“good night lara.” you reply, finishing off with the flowers, displaying the pretty white bouquet.
the next morning was rough, you’d left before lara was up, a small text saying you’d gone to carter’s place to work.
it stung. the attention you’d adorn her with forgotten and displayed onto someone else. someone who didn’t deserve it. who hadn’t earned it like she had. who lacked in knowing you.
lara knew what she was doing wasn’t healthy for the both of you, you didn’t owe her anything but the heavy ache in her chest just wouldn’t dissipate.
she hated that she was so into you. that everything you did was absolutely heavenly. how you presented yourself with immaculate properness. how you smiled so effortlessly, the way your confidence radiated in every room.
god she was absolutely gone. you had her whipped and desperate.
she began her day, mind constantly drifting over to you at carter’s dorm.
even during her lecture the professor’s words just seemed to drone on, aristotle this and socrates that. the human condition and art forms. god she didn’t care, she just wanted you.
just then a thought popped into her head, maybe something indecent and a little cruel. but lara raj wasn’t afraid to admit that she was selfish when it came to you. that she’d love to keep you to herself. just hers — and she, just yours.
her heart began to beat a little too loudly for her own good — guilty and troublesome.
so, right there and then in class she’d started this small lie, one she hoped would give carter the hint and hopefully lead you to lara instead.
“did you hear? lara’s taken.. un fucking fortunately.. god and i thought my flowers would’ve worked.”
amy’s friend giggled, “i say give it a week, girls like that can’t handle lara.”
“youre right.” the two girls snicker as you walk past, confused you shrug it off and continue heading to carter’s dorm. things had been amazing, she’s shown more than just interest and you were sure today was the day you’d kiss.
you knocked twice, once for acknowledgment and another for friendliness — albeit wanting nothing to do with being friends.
carter opened happily, moving aside for you to step in. “can’t believe we’re almost done this project. thought it’d take weeks.”
you giggle — a little too loud and trying way too hard.
“hard work goes a long way.” she begin to sort out folders, the paper light in your hands. carter was watching, unsure when to bring it up. sure, she was interested to an extent. you amused her and seemed like you’d give her a good time whenever she pleased. you looked easy. fun to play with. casual. someone she could walk over and you’d forgive her.
but after the word got around, she couldn’t help but want nothing to do with you. lara was levels above her and she wasn’t competing with someone in that league.
you began rambling about the layout, how things would be set up but carter just nodded absentmindedly. the silence was there, prominent and deep. you misread the toom because you began to lean in, eyes closed and heart full of hope and desire. carter did the same, only for her finger to come between you and rest onto your lips.
“not so fast, sweetheart.”
you blink. had you made a move too quickly? your face started to heat with embarrassment.
“look y/n. you’re a very pretty girl, and i was definitely interested but i stopped that whole cheating phase a while ago. want a fresh slate you know? better rep.. and with your girlfriend lana, lexi.. i don’t know.. you get my point, i just think it’s wrong.”
carter didn’t care about her rep, she just didn’t want to do someone like lara dirty.
“what?” you were lost, “lara?” you asked, clarifying what you partially knew.
“oh yea.. lara.”
you paused, “but i just don’t understand..” carter was quick to gather your things
“temptations an ugly thing y/n, off you go now.” you leave with your heart broken, what just happened?
but this new feeling of anger overcame you. you made your way to the shared dorm, slamming the door.
lara chuckled — a sound that once made you laugh —you found yourself getting upset over.
“lara rajagopalan.”
fuck. you knew. you definitely knew.
“who else did you fucking tell? no it all makes sense now. no more bouquets at the door, carter acting fucking weird. all because you said we were dating?”
lara sighed, the lie was unethical, she knew the consequences but she didn’t think it would hurt this bad.
“y/n.. i’m sorry i just.. do you know how hard it is watching you feel that way for someone else?”
“i don’t care lara! i’d been wanting her for years now! i was this fucking close and you had to ruin it.”
“she doesn’t even like you! i know how people like carter are! they play with you like you’re a toy and throw you away when you aren’t all new and shiny anymore! i honestly did you a favour.”
you scoffed, “i’m an adult too you know! i can deal with my own shit. if i get played i get fucking played. it’s life. people suck. but you can’t just control who i’m with and who i’m not with!”
lara took a step closer, “but can’t you see? i love you! so much.. so fucking much and it hurts that all i am is some roommate. some friend. someone who doesn’t matter to you.”
you pushed her back, “seriously? it took everything in me to get over you, lara. back in high school i’d constantly try and you’d fool around with girl after girl like i didn’t exist. and once i move on it’s a big deal.”
lara froze. “what? you liked me?”
you nod and roll your eyes, “immensely.”
“y/n.. the only reason i jumped from girl to girl was because i wanted to make you jealous. i wanted you to confront me and tell me off and ask why you couldn’t be the one i wanted instead.”
you blink, the feelings raw and unfiltered. you’d both been in love and a misunderstanding tore you apart.
“larz..” you say breathlessly. shocked almost. like you can’t believe it.
though you wouldn’t admit it, deep down you knew carter was an excuse. something to distract yourself with. your heart always belonged to lara.
you crash your lips onto hers — hands finding their way to your waist. a tangle of hands and tongues. the most neediest kiss.
lara was yours and you were hers. it was always supposed to be you two.
“i love you too.” you whisper, the years of misunderstanding lost and forgotten as you both lean in to kiss each other again and again.
