So Laundry Discourse Exists
Because I promised I’d tell this story last night.
Lately, I’ve looked into making my own laundry detergent because finding laundry stuff that both contains no animal products and isn’t tested on animals in small town Indiana is an exercise in frustration and I don’t have the stamina for it. One of my first acts in 2017 was to Google image search “homemade laundry detergent” because a lot of people put theirs in these cute jars and I’m a sucker for that kind of thing.
This is how I discovered that homemade laundry detergent is a CONTROVERSIAL ISSUE.
And not even for the reasons you’d think, like people being all “I’m not going to sit down and GRATE BARS OF SOAP to save money” or whatever. No, this is a matter of SCIENCE.
What it comes down to is there’s this thing called “stripping” your laundry, which, from what I can gather, used to be a thing to get rid of mineral buildup on fabric from very hard water, but now mostly exists to give new moms using cloth diapers one more thing to worry about.
(Incidentally, I have also learned that CLOTH DIAPER DISCOURSE is a booming industry with many websites devoted to telling you why you’re sopping up your child’s filth ALL WRONG.)
How stripping laundry works is you take your clean laundry and dump it in the washing machine or bathtub or what have you. Then fill the container halfway with hot water, and add your mineral removal solution. You can either buy this solution or make your own using Borax, washing soda, and Calgon.
Borax, washing soda, and Calgon. Remember that for later.
So then you let the clothes soak for about four hours, stirring every forty-five minutes or so, and the water gets all murky and horrific with all the evil you’re stripping out of the fabric, and then you take the clothes and run them through a wash cycle in your machine using only water, which, if hard water was your problem in the first place, seems really counter-intuitive.
ANYWAY so somewhere along the line people using cloth diapers decided that the diapers weren’t as white and didn’t absorb as much after repeated uses, and then was the result of detergent buildup on the clothing (I’d have figured it was the result of, you know, repeated use wearing things out, but I’m an idiot who doesn’t know anything about parenting). So if you truly want your cloth diapers to be clean and your baby’s skin to be protected from harsh detergent chemicals, you have to strip your cloth diapers! Because why not add one more battle to the Mommeigh Wars to stress women out?
(Incidentally, my sister and I lived through our cloth diapers never being “stripped.” Of course, I also lived through having mine dried on a clothesline outdoors despite being allergic to every outdoor thing ever, so yeah.)
‘But Lauralot,’ you may be thinking, ‘what do horrible commercial chemicals have to do with homemade laundry detergent?’ Thank you for providing that segue!
So homemade laundry detergent has become a thing recently, probably as a combination of the recession, doomsday preppers, and Pinterest, and then some people decided they didn’t like homemade laundry detergents, and judging from the tone of various websites I’ve seen (there are WEBSITES devoted to this), some of the ones who don’t like it have made it a crusade to tell you why it’s the devil and will probably make your washing machine break and your family die.
So if you “strip” your laundry washed in homemade detergent, the water looks gross! I mean, it looks gross if you do it with commercial detergent too, but shut up, this is clearly because homemade detergent is SCIENTIFICALLY INCAPABLE OF CLEANING CLOTHING.
Why is that, you may ask? Well I found a long blog post that explained it scientifically in that when people make homemade laundry detergent, that the active cleaning ingredient is grated soap, and soap is completely different from detergent because detergent has surfacants that let it clean your clothes without sticking to them, but soap surfacants don’t work that way for some reason I wasn’t paying attention to and the other things in homemade detergent just soften water and can’t possibly clean the horrible evil soap residue from your clothing so your clothes are FILTHY WITH SOAP AND MINERALS, LOOK AT THE STRIPPING PICTURES, SEE THE TRUTH.
At this point because it was like one in the morning and everything was funny to me, I hopped on over to Discord to ask @nicrosil, who works with pool chemicals, about all this, because pool chemicals and laundry chemicals actually have a lot in common.
So anyway, @nicrosil explained that homemade detergent typically uses castille soap, with the active ingredient of lye (sodium hydroxide), which has a high pH. The Borax (sodium tetraborate decahydrate) and washing soda (sodium carbonate) used in the stripping solution also have high pHs. So regardless of any preexisting carbonate buffers in the water, when you add all those things together, you end up with a solution with a high pH, and as the pH increases, water solubility decreases. So things that normally dissolve in water don’t, and you end up seeing a bunch of crap you wouldn’t otherwise, because that’s how chemical solutions work, and not necessarily because ALL FILTH ALL THE TIME.
(Also I notice that in every picture of stripped laundry, the murk in the water is always MUCH darker with colored laundry than with white, so I’m wondering if some of this isn’t just trace amounts of dye leaking out into the water).
But this is the part that was really funny to me, because ninety percent of homemade laundry detergent recipes I’ve seen only consist of three ingredients, those being castille soap, Borax, and washing soda. BORAX AND WASHING SODA. The two water softening agents you can’t possibly trust to wash away the soap, unless you’re using them to strip the laundry post-wash, and then for some reason it’s fine?
Now in fairness, the comments of the big long post about the evils of homemade detergent went into some thing about why soap surfacants are completely different from detergent surfacants and why Borax and washing soda work in stripping but not in homemade detergent but halfway through, the post turned into an advertisement for some eco company’s detergent with a suspicious lack of any stripping pictures following washes in this commercial detergent, so I lost interest and also it was about 1:30 in the morning and I was tired.
So yeah. That’s how I started 2017, by learning about LAUNDRY SOAP DISCOURSE and the effort women will go to in order to make other women feel like crap about their homemaking skills. It was really funny to me last night, so I sure hope it holds up for anyone reading this in the day. And if not, my apologies.