As I sat in our yellow car, and overlooked a windy welsh beach, equipped with a flask, fruit cake, and 2 good friends.. I hit the big three zero. In the year of build up, the final year of my 20s, I drew up a list of ‘30 things to do before I turn 30.′
Some of the items on the list comprised of ‘creating’ things:
[1] Carve something out of wood (I made a spoon) [2] Mould out of clay (...a bowl) [3] Cultivate a sourdough starter (Yep, even though short lived) [4] Ferment a ginger beer starter (It happened, but was also short lived.) [5] Follow the saponification process and make bars of soap (...scented bay & bergamot) Others on the list comprised of ‘achieving’ things: [6] Learn to drive [7] ...then roadtrip in Europe (FR & ITL) [8] Swim in seas, lakes and lochs (conquering my unease around water) [9] Start eating and enjoying fish (Highlight: cooking fish, directly over coals, wrapped in newspaper & dipped in sea water!) [10] Develop my taste palate (I sat brewing & sensory exams, wine, coffee, & organic acid tastings) Some were more ‘lifestyle’ based: [11] Regularly Sabbath: divert daily, withdraw weekly, abandon annually [12] Establish a morning rhythm of waking up with a grateful heart [13] Stretch! to touch my toes [14] Carry on learning OT Hebrew (setting time aside weekly) [15] Start giving blood Some, just for fun: [16] Cook on the beach at sunrise (#Jesus) [17] Host around a really big table (many times) [18] Let the music play! ...Go to some gigs (BSS & BBC NOW) [19] Try a whisky from each of the Scottish regions (...this one will roll in to next year!) [20] Own an axe (...I now have a Swedish steel, Hultafors trekking hatchet) Others, practicing ‘presence’: [21] Befriend at the bus stop (I met David) [22] 30 campfires (Documented on Instagram) [23] Tell a story / Capture a moment (Speakeasy 25th Anniversary Booklet) [24] ‘Teach us to care for those entrusted to us’ (Living out the prayer of St. Ninian) [25] Present to place: Forage & preserve. (We made wild garlic pesto)
Others, not completed in the way I had hoped: [26] Step towards self sustainability... by keeping chickens (BIG DREAM... one day!) [26edited] Step towards self sustainability... by reducing plastic and only using bars of soap (smaller dream) [27] ‘Tabernacle’... a physical place of prayer within our home/community [27edited] ‘Tabernacle’... establishing rhythms of morning and evening prayer meditation within our community
[28] Publish a prayer book [28editing] Install pop up prayer rooms & create small booklets... one day, then, publish a larger prayer book. [29] Sleep on a beach overnight (not completed at all... will have to do this next year.)
As the year began to draw to a close, I grew frustrated at my uncompleted list. It mirrored my disappointment at reaching 30 without feeling much sense of achievement. Then, one evening, during community Advent prayers, I saw it from a different perspective. Richard Rohr* writes about how Advent reveals that ‘perfect fullness is always to come,’ as Christian history ‘lives out’ a kind of ‘deliberate emptiness’ (#notyetnow): 'The theological virtue of hope is the patient and trustful willingness to live without closure, without resolution, and still be content and even happy because our Satisfaction is now at another level, and our Source is beyond ourselves.' The list has been fun, and motivational, but was never meant to be prescriptive. As I enter year 31, I am reminded to be less ‘purpose’ driven and more ‘presence’ orientated, less ‘trapped’ in my own worldview and more ‘open’ to possibilities, less ‘impatient’ and more ‘trustful.’ And I begun the year ahead... 30 years and 1 day old... amid the garden mud, discovering some surprise potatoes, forgotten about, and left over from my attempts at gardening, and accidentally completed [30] Grow-your-own, from seed to plate.
* Richard Rohr, Daily Meditations for Advent
