Eurovision 2010s: 45 - 41
45. Rasmussen - “Higher ground” Denmark 2018
[2018 Review here]
FRIZ DEE YERRO, WINDY YERRRRR
But I’m getting ahead of myself. Remember when Christer rejected “Higher ground” from Melfest and it was the fucking WORST Melfest ever? Remember how Denmark recycled it and let it win DMGP? Well...
OOOOOOOOOOOOOWNED SO HARD!! and not just Sweden to be honest, because “Higher ground” slaps, even a full year after the fact. It’s a paragon of righteous scandi energy, conceived in a mancave over a keg of mead, inspired by a tale of medival pacifism (which actually makes it non-toxicly masculine), imprinted on by Game of Thrones (a wonderful tv series that ended when the White Walkers melted down the ice wall and murdered everybody in Westeros ^__^)
In a nutshell, an absolutely kick ass entry.
Truth be told, it is IMPOSSIBLE to not get up from my chair, pound my chest and march along with the Old Norse (😍) post-chorus chanting. Rasmussen DELIVERS a performance so intense it rips the space/time continuum and creates a portal to the good old Viking days. 100% deserving of being 2018′s KEiiNO and the highest Danish entry on this ranking!
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44. Pasha Parfeny - “Lăutar” Moldova 2012
THIS DRAMPET MAKES U MIME GIRL
Pasha Parfeny looks like this now:
😬
Years of being awesome clearly took their toll on poor Pasha, but I will cherish him for the fountain of fun he has always been. “Lăutar” is such an uninhibited display for Moldovan FOLK, bringing out the dulcimers, horns and “drampets” to bring a much-needed ethic palate cleanser after the musical genocide committed on the Baku Stage. It also features some of the best dance choreography found in this decade, in which Pasha and dancers hop around the stage like overexcited gerbils <3
(btw: the pink dancer SLAYS me every single time.)
Such a frivolous, playful, adorable act that radiates mirth from every pore. 😍 But wait, we aren’t done, because “ Lăutar” also features some of the more memorable, hilarious, iconic butcherings of the English language found in this decade (”You haven’t seen before the looks like drampet. 😍 Butter sound go straight to ur soul”😍). It certainly helps that Pasha is like a male Ruslana, struggling to express himself and resulting some hilarious awkward interview gold (Eurovision.tv: “Pasha, what is your secret for happiness” Pasha: “Make good sex ^__^” Eurovision.tv: “. . .” 😍)
Naturally, a Pasha write-up cannot be finished without noting how central he is to ‘Moldova in Eurovision’, almost as much as Moldova’s staging is. This little man’s (literally. He’s like 1.65m lol) musical legacy includes:
- writing and performing Lăutar in 2012 - being a former vocalist for Sunstroke Project - being the mentor of Aliona Moon and writing her 2013 song - being the original songwriter for DoReDoS before Kirkorov took over In other words, he is ~CONNECTED~ to every epic, high-tier Moldovan entry. WHAT AN ICON. Stay Safe Pavel!!
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43. Dino Merlin - “Love in rewind” Bosnia - Herzegovina 2011
Finishing 6th place from the death slot when will ur faves...x Man I do love my narrative entries, and it doesn’t get much better than an old man reflecting back on his life’s had, satisfied with its outcome. It’s such a c00t premise and Dino Merlin plays the part of the adorable grandfather with conviction. 😍 Even manages to transform Maja Sar into a fun hume for once:
“Love in rewind” really is all about the group effort. Dino himself is of course fantastic and makes this performance, but his troupe of ragtag troubadours carry a lot of weight as well, providing a wackadoodle wonderland for Dino to project his nostalgia onto.
And then there’s the question of “Love in rewind” itself. It is easy to lump it in with all the other frivolous folk, but in reality it’s an experimental avant garde song disguised as folk 😈 (exactly like “Putnici”, in fact!). The song is made into an artform by a few unorthodox, sudden key changes. Key changes hated by the millennial wannabe pitchfork crew, but here at BorisBubbles we don’t support weakness so let’s wave them all goodbye in celebration of what is easily Bosnia’s best Eurovision entry:
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42. JOWST ft. Aleksander Wallman - “Grab the moment” Norway 2017
[2017 Review here]
As a shameless EDM Hound, I have to admit that I am totally smitten by this piece of electronic undergroundness. A wonderful epileptic seizure of pitch black and lavender, executed to perfection by Aleksander Wallman. “Grab the moment” offers show-stopping visual effects, great vocal execution and an additctive beat. THE TRIPLE THREAT OF LIVE MUSIC!
Fortunately, there’s also a great underlying message. I haven’t really talked about the Mental Health Anthem all that much in this ranking, but that’s mostly because I haven’t ranked most of them yet. Any song that inspires people to believe in themselves, that it is okay to be imperfect and that tackles social issues such as procrastination and neurosis HEAD ON and WITH RESPECT, deserves praise.
Which is exactly what JOWST & Aleksander do, specifically by addressing young heterosexual men. 😍 (ie: the demograph that is the least likely to reach out for a support when they need it). They do this very cleverly, by using teenspeak to discuss the ever-relatable theme crippling anxiety and how to lay it aside and get shit done. 🤜🤛 so let us all
KILL k177 K!££
~ThEvOiCeInMyHeAd~
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41. Ruth Lorenzo - “Dancing in the Rain Spain 2014
THE RAIIIIIN THE RAIIIIN THE RAIIIIIN
Ruth. Yo quiero ser Ruth. Because Ruth is emblematic of Spain’s biggest (only) strength in Eurovision: the LOUD OVERDRAMATIC SCREECHING POWERBALLAD 😍 There are so many precedents to Ruth, from “Él” to “Vuelve Conmigo” to “Bailar pegados” to “Quedate conmigo” but “Dancing in the rain” may be my favourite of the lot. In part because Ruth is a GODDESS and I was *invested* in her success the second she won the NF:
Which she then followed up by forming a backstage bitch coven with Conchita and Suzy. 😍 Excuse me for a moment, I have to lay myself down and blow myself with a fan because that alliance contains so much awesomeness it gives me palpitations.
But I mostly love “Dancing in the rain” because of the performance. It’s a great composition in its own right, providing intense screaminess, well-executed language changes and of course, literal stage rain. 😍 However, Ruth is SO intense in her delivery it becomes a moment of contemplation, of exaltation, and of stupefication as Ruth’s SONIC ENERGY washes over us like a tsunami of sound. DEJA CAER, DEJA LA LLUVIA CAER, THE RAIN THE RAIN THE RAIN
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and since this is the last update for Spain, Bosnia, Moldova and Denmark, I’ll include my overall thoughts below.
