#lazarus posts

[soulsofsolace]

This is all fucking bullshit and I'm tired of it. I'm switching out before I something stupid.

-Lazarus

[soulsofsolace]

I didn't know our husband still used tumblr but I guess they do lol.

Sorry, Zeke. 😂

Not really lol. Poor blushy guy.

-Lazarus

[soulsofsolace]

Either there's a new alter that's been floating about these past few weeks, or we're just stressed. We've all been hearing a very chatty Englishman yapping in here about everything; politics, food, music, tea, ect. He just doesn't shut the fuck up. Since I've been out he's been quiet, which is weird. I don't know why. He seems really kind, but if he is around somewhere we haven't seen what he looks like.

I'd say I'm anxious about possibly splitting again but I'm finally learning to accept this disorder for what it is; disorganized, unpredictable chaos.

If he helps us heal from past or current trauma then so be it. I'm to tired to care.

-Lazarus

[soulsofsolace]

I am not doing well mentally. At all.

Nana just died and I can't even grieve about that because my aunt is being beaten and choked daily, and my cousin has to deal with it.

She's going through the same horrifying shit that I had to growing up and I'm so fucking angry about it. Once again our shitty ass family failed a kid. A kid that didn't get a childhood. If anything I'm at least relieved that she's older than we were. She didn't have to deal with this specific abuse until her teens. It started at 8 for us.

Maybe she'll be able to heal easier. At least I hope so... That kid deserves the world. Hopefully us moving to NY will help. She lives a few hours from where we're going to be moving.

I hope we get to move soon. I'm so tired. All of this happening at once just made everything worse. That and my therapist has covid so I can't have therapy until next week. I really needed it this week.

I'm tired.

-Lazarus

[soulsofsolace]

The amount of grateful and loved I feel is wild.

I sold out of all my projects only after 5 hours of posting them. I made $40 in one night. If it weren't for my my husband and best friend we would have never done it. But now we even have a commision from a childhood friend.

I sure am going to miss my little whales. They have a lot of love in them. ❤

-Lazarus

[soulsofsolace]

I uh, also have a fiancé and two boyfriends now. I've been dating Echo since April 2019, we got engaged May of this year. I've been friends/fwb with Juda since 2020, we started dating yesterday. Ethan and I have been friends/fwb since April of this year, and we started dating today. I'm dating all three of my boys, and they're also dating each other now too. Pretty cool, haha. I think we make a good quadrouple. ❤

-Lazarus

[soulsofsolace]

First night went pretty good! It's rainy as fuck, which is pretty annoying on canvas. But other than that, it's going good! Gonna unpack more today, and get to organizing some shit. The boys are happy. Ethan and I got some okay sleep, I had to move the other cushion on top of the current one so we could be comfortable rather than sleeping on a wooden slab.

It's BEAUTIFUL here. Mountains, nature, away from that damned town. This was a good choice. Gotta be aware of the racist Trumpies, but I think we'll be just fine.

-Lazarus

[soulsofsolace]

When the fuck did we accumulate so much shit? Where did all of this come from. The fuck.