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New Drabble Alert: The Price of Looking
My drabble won first place in the warm-up round of the @dramioneldws Dramione Last Drabble Writer Standing 2020 - Round 2: Constellations!
Go read it here: AO3
The entire collection is amazing, and I feel honored to be writing with so many talented individuals. Go forth and enjoy!!
LDWS 2020, week 1
Vision (official entry)
"I had a dream"
Raoul stretched amidst the rumpled sheets, reaching out to land a hand on James' belly "A nice one?"
"I was at an airport"
"Why?"
"Leaving"
"For?"
"I'm not sure, the flight details kept blurring and changing on the board" James looked down at Raoul, as if the key to his dream lay amidst those distorted features "I was leaving London. Permanently. It felt better than I always thought it would" shame burned on his tongue.
Raoul hummed, thumb tracing the pucker of a scar "It was just a dream" and like one, they had no future.
***
Dice Roll (reject #1)
James watched the numbers and letters on the departures panel roll inexorably slow, every destination too familiar for comfort.
["Choose randomly, don't plan"
"But how will you find me?"
Raul's grin glints in the moonlight like an oil slick "If the young Quartermaster can find you, what does make you think I won't?"
"Misfortune"]
James shook the memory away, annoyed: now it wasn't the time to let such fears come bobbing to the surface.
He tightened the grip on his bag, took a deep breath: time to roll the dice and hope that Lady Luck would be on his side.
***
Departure (reject #2)
James watched the destinations roll across the departures panel, numbers and letters changing as fast as if a dealer's hand had been sending them spinning across felt like cards "What if I told you I have changed my mind?"
"About?"
"Leaving"
"We can't stay in London, mi querido"
The man next to him was as tense as a violin string, stretched taut on a note for far too long - dangerous.
"London is my home"
"MI6 was your home" and they left you for dead - Raoul's words hung in the air, unsaid and unbearably loud.
"I know" James sighed "Let's go"
LDWS 2020, Week Three
Note Passing (official entry)
"So, now we are passing notes as if we are kids still in school?"
"I wouldn't have had to, if you replied to my texts"
"Maybe there was a specific reason why I wasn't doing that - did you think of it while you folded this slip of paper and batted your lashes at Moneypenny to persuade her to pass it along?"
"You really sound unnecessarily peeved by the note passing"
"Let's say I just expect a little more maturity from a grown man"
"I didn't think you would have appreciated being stalked around MI6 any better"
"To be fair... that's true. Oh, stop it! I can hear your smugness"
"You can't hear smugness"
"When it comes to you? I can"
"You're just being dramatic"
"You're one to talk. Don't get me started: I'm very busy and I don't have the time to list all the ways and occasions in which you have proved how much of a drama queen you are. I actually don't even have the time for this call"
"You could have just texted me your answer - or you know, you could have passed me a note: some of us still appreciate the beauty of the written word, the effort of picking out the best stationery-"
"-you wrote yours on the back of a recei-"
"-the intimacy of putting your handwriting on display. I could go on and on about the meaningfulness and superiority of handwritten notes"
"You're so full of bullshit"
"And you're stalling: for someone claiming to be oh so busy, you sure are enjoying keeping me on the phone"
"Maybe I'm just making you gag for it"
"If only you'd let me show how next to nonexistent my gag reflex is..."
"Stop - stop right there. I'll come to dinner, happy?"
"Immensely so, my dear Quartermaster"
Abandonment (reject #1)
"I feel like you're steadily slipping away, dripping from my fingertips like running water"
"I'm here"
"You are here - with your body, sitting at your computers, hands knotted around mugs of steaming tea. But it doesn't feel like you're really here, with me"
"At work I can't-"
"At home too. I understand detatchement at work, I understand and respect your desire to be professional - I don't understand it at home: it doesn't have a place to be there. Did I do something wrong?"
"I'm not known for keeping my displeasure to myself"
"That's not an answer"
"No, James, you haven't done anything wrong"
"Did something happen to you?"
"No"
"Q"
"I don't know what to tell you, James: I don't have any answers for you. Can you just... drop it?"
"It doesn't feel right doing so. Look, Q, you're one of the best things that has ever happened to me and I don't want to jeopardise it - I don't want to leave any stones unturned. I'm not the best at empathising, I need you to talk to me whether there is something wrong for me to solve or something that is bothering you and I can listen to"
"I'm fine, it will pass"
"Will you have left me behind when it has passed - are you already in the process of doing so?"
"I'm not trying to leave you"
"Sometimes one doesn't even need to try to slip away, it just happens"
"Talking from experience, are you?"
"Is that the problem - are you afraid of me being fickle?"
"Don't put words into my mouth"
"I'm not- I'm.. I'm just trying to understand"
"I don't think there is anything to understand and even if there is, I don't understand it myself honestly"
"It just.. hurts, Q"
"I know. I'm so sorry, James"
LDWS 2020, Week Four
Distraction
As a rule, Q always was rather suspicious of quiet - whether that was a side effect of working in espionage or just his nature, he wasn't particularly sure but he knew better than wasting too much brainpower on such considerations. Besides, a healthy dose of paranoia always paid off if the feeling was carefully kept on a leash.
Hand going to grab his taser, Q entered the bedroom and his eyes immediately zeroed in on his lovers "What are you doing?"
"Who - us?" James inquired with a shiteating grin, dramatically pointing at his own chest "Man of little faith"
Q gestured at Raoul, lounging against the bed post "At least he has the decency to not try to fool me" he pointed out as he relaxed in increments, tension gradually leaving his body as he made his way to the bed to sit at its foot "So?"
"What makes you think we are up to anything?"
The younger man batted James' hand away from his calf "You always are up to something when you're quiet: it's not like either of you"
Raoul's chuckle was satiny and dark - if Q hadn't found it ridiculous to compare a sound to food, his mind would have probably come up with some kind of stupid similitude involving a rich, dark chocolate cake "We aim to please, mi querido"
"That awfully sounds like an admission of guilt"
"Maybe" Raoul leaned over, finger tapping the point of the other's nose just to see the way it would scrunch up at the bothersome gesture "But who says I feel guilty about any of it?"
Taking advantage of Q's distraction, their lover clearly too busy - and failing at - glaring Raoul into properly confessing, James wrapped his hand around his ankle and tugged firmly, a delighted chuckle escaping his lips at the little shriek Q let out "Let's talk about it later" he murmured, bending down to brush their lips together "There's funnier things to do"
"Just tell me the place isn't gonna get swarmed by whatever international agency might be thirsting for our heads"
Raoul palmed his cheek, gently turning his head to meet his eyes "I promise"
Q sighed, eyes rolling even as he reached for the nape of the other's neck while he sneaked a foot between James' legs "Fine, but don't you think you can postpone this conversation for much longer"
"Wouldn't dream of it"
***
I want to thank all of you for reading and commenting for these drabbles even if I opted for not exactly popular ships - I hope you enjoyed reading the drabbles as much as I had fun writing them (I collected them all on ao3 for easier browsing!)
To my fellow writers, as usual it was an absolute pleasure to see what you came out with.
To the mods, I really fucking love you for making LDWS open to all ships this year lol
LDWS 2020, week 2
Hunger
He pursed his lips, eyes contemplating the ruin spread out at his feet: his life, his career, his dreams - everything lay shattered on the ground, all of his hard work and his striving aspirations turned to dust.
"Hungry - you were always hungry for more than you can chew, clever boy"
Q pursed his lips, refusing to look at the other - stubbornly staring out at the moors, fog slowly raising from the earth like poisonous vapours "It's your fault, Raoul"
"Shut up"
"It wasn't the plan!"
"¡Callate!"
Suddenly there was the cold circle of a gun's barrel pressed in the middle of his forehead - so icy that it almost burned against his skin. Q swallowed, tightening his hands in fists that would do nothing to protect him from a bullet straight to the brain "She doesn't give a shit about you, she never has"
Raoul sneered "And you do?"
"Yes, I do"
Raoul laughed, derisive and cruel: it hurt more than a bullet ever would but Q wasn't giving up on him - he wasn't sure he could; yielding under pressure and escaping just wasn't an option, they were together for life, inextricably bound together.
No matter how deadly Raoul's love was.
I received so many awesome comments for my LDWS drabble!! Thank you everyone I’m so happy!!
People’re asking me to write more on the pairing but folks I don’t think I can write a full fic with rogue!Q/rogue!Bond/Silva I mean it’s just...it’s hard okay? lol 100 words I can do but full on fic? With full plot? And full smexy times? I...uh..*grumble grumble*
Still happy though. XD
