a phone convo with my mom while on vacation
bullshit about how the weekends didn't go as planned
mom: the good thing is i almost bought you an autographed les paul and i didn't
me: what the fuck did you just say? please tell me what you said was a complete fucking joke, mother.
mom: it's a good thing i didn't buy you that autographed les paul?
me: what the fuck is wrong with you?! if you got me that i would have shit my pants out of excitement. are you really that stupid.
mom: well, it's lucky for your dad then.
me: no! he would have been shitting more than i would. we looveeeee les paul
mom: i'm talking about how much it cost; he wouldn't wanted me to spend that.
i'm not even going to get into how much it cost because if i heard it correctly imma slaughter this woman. there is a possibility it was about as expensive as a typical guitar. *facepalm