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Sailing across Alternia seas in the First Ship had taught Iibron Captor one thing: how to curse like a pirate. Yes, a pirate because they knew words that would make a sailor blush.
Normally, Iibron had no reason to break out his veritable treasure or cusses, but fortunately or unfortunately for all the nearby flora and fauna, the circumstances were not normal. That was no surprise since he was on a deadly, hostile planet that seemed to be doing its best to kill him despite the fact he was already dead. The ultimate irony was the planet might succeed, and this was a time he REALLY didn't want to die. Either the horrors really fucking hated him or he was just that doomed. Perhaps both.
Whatever the reason or reasons were, Iibron found himself drenched to the bone thanks to the pouring rain. Worse yet, the thunder was almost deafeningly loud and a lightning strike had taken down a tree just twenty feet away from him. And, as bad as that was, it wasn't the worst thing. The worst thing was that his clothing were torn nearly to shreds after he'd been ambushed by a bear. Normally, his Psiionics would have been more than enough to take down such an opponent, but on this planet, where his powers were working at a fraction of what they used to, all he could really do was run.
Okay, so he could have taken the bear on in a fight if he had tried and kept his distance. His Psiionics were weak, but he could use them to protect himself so long as he kept out of arms reach. The problem was, that would have taken time and energy he simply didn't have. Maybe once he got a more steady food supply he'd dare use his powers, but until then, he had to run, in the pouring rain, almost naked and completely lost because it was too dark and wet for him to be able to make out the screen on his wrist top.
"Out of all the maggot infested misfortunes that have ever eeked out the anus of a thousand tentacled horror THIS has got to be the damned, mother fucking WORST. SERIOUSLY, what kind of dead panned, bulge brained fuckass monstrosity thought today was a good day to play fuck with Iibron day? Whatever orifice this shit leaked out of, I am putting a stop to it right fucking now. That's right you ass backwards tentadicks, you no longer have the Psiionnic as your wastechute howlerbeast. you can go drag yer slimy tentacles on some other landlubber because me be 100 percent DONE with yer piss ass poor pranks."
Letting out a sight that was half exasperated shout, Psiioniic flipped double birds to the skybefore continuing to rant a la pirate.
"It this rain don't stop soon, these old bones will be'a sittin' in Davy Jones locker. Again. I don't be wanting that, and though I ain't no lily livered lubber, me best bet be to gettin' under some tinders. Arrgh. Me be prefferin' a nice ship to bunker in, but in a lubbers wet dream like this me be luck ter find anyting bigger 'an a puddle. mes guessin' me'll jus hafta make do with a couple'a twigs an' leaves over me head. Davy Jones locker, if me be lucky maybe I'll be visited by a bonnie lass wit' cold in her bones. Me know a sure fire way to warm em bones up.Aye, that's right me invisible mateys, me 'ill be jumpin dem bones tonight!"
