#lea liveblogs

[whatisthisnonsense]

Jesus fuck on a cracker

[whatisthisnonsense]

So we get a glimpse backwards-- or perhaps a look at them reborn??-- to see what the Guardians were like when they were not corrupted as hell.

Sweet, as it turns out. They were sweet. And that makes it all the worse

[whatisthisnonsense]

Anyway I’m cheating and using a walkthrough because I got places to be, so I have all the codes I need already besides the randomly generated one, ho ho, he he, ha ha

I’m sorry take this who what

Oh my fucking god

[whatisthisnonsense]

There, I’m a sap, shut up

[whatisthisnonsense]

POPPIN’ BALLOONS

ROLLA COASTAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

SHITTY RIGGED CARNY GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEMS

TREASURED MEMORIEEEEEEEES!!

DIDNEY LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND

[whatisthisnonsense]

not gonna lie, if someone brought back and domesticated like legit real velociraptors, I would ABSOLUTELY adopt an attack turkey

S a m eBlue is a Good Girl and tbh if they had continued that thread and bred her genes out until we got domesticated murder not-birds I would want at least three

[whatisthisnonsense]

That’s it, that’s Off everyone, we’re done here

[whatisthisnonsense]

OKAY KIDS BUCKLE UP BECAUSE BEFORE THERE WAS YOUR SANS UNDERTALE AND YOUR HOUSETRAPPED THERE WAS THIS RIDICULOUS LITTLE FROG MAN AND GOOD FUCKING NIGHT THE FANS ABOUT ZACHARIE

Jesus fucking christ on a ham sammich, the real bitch of the matter. The real bitch. Is canon Mortis Ghost art of this little shit, but we’ll get to that

First, let’s explain what we actually get from just the main game about Zacharie Zacharie TheFuckIsALastName is the game’s Requite Merchant. He’s a shop keeper who is in reasonably safe spots everywhere about the world. He later takes over the role of mentor after Something Something Spoiler Something The Cat’s Not Dead Relax. He owns a theme park in Zone 2, appears to know damn near everyone, and is constantly There and Sassy, but like, in a friendly way.

He is also VERY aware he’s in a video game and will snark about it constantly. “But Lea”, my dear readers say, sighing and shaking their heads at my hysterics even though that’s probably why they’re reading in the first place. “That’s not odd. That’s just how fans be, obsessing on a character that’s odd but doesn’t really actually have that much to--”

MORTIS GHOST ALSO HAD SEVERAL IMAGES OF HIM WITH WINGS AND A SWORD, AND AT SOME POINT REFEREED TO HIM AS THE HERO

“What? Now you’re just making shit up--”

BITCH I DON’T PLAY AROUND HERE’S SHIT FROM @mortisghost HIMSELF

“...Oh.”

YEAH THAT’S RIGHT. OH.

Also according to his Redbubble Zacharie appears to have tattoos but that’s neither here nor there POINT IS

THAT HE ALSO ROUGHLY MATCHES UP TO THE PORTRAYAL OF A HERO IN A BOOK WE WILL FIND LATER IN A LIBRARY DESPITE MORTIS GHOST SAYING THEY AREN’T THE SAME DUDE, AND A VERY, VERY IMPORTANT CHARACTER TO THE WORLD CONSIDERS HIM HIS FRIEND, AND WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE ACTUAL HICKORY DICKORY FUCK IS HIS DEAL

SO NATURALLY THE FANS DREW THEIR OWN CONCLUSIONS

YOU KNOW HOW THAT BE

I could sit here screaming for quite some more time tbh